Sorry but I am so sad

annie I too have given up crosstitch due to poor eyesight so have taken up knitting instead. Just simple scarves or hats (give to charity when I have done them for all the family). Could you try that instead? X

Annie Love the "tidy house..." sampler. I hate dusting and am very blessed to have a lovely lass who comes every week to 'muck us out' so I tend to shut my eyes to it all. Our kitten makes more mess than we do as he has a big cardboard box,which he seems to love more than the cat tree which arrived in it, and he does everything in there. Hides himself and his toys, plays, bites holes in it and rips it to shreds and spreads the bits everywhere - and then we inevitably walk it everywhere! He also seems to have a new 'stash' somewhere in which he must have hidden all 5 of his foil balls because we cannot find them anywhere. DD has hunted on her hands and knees (which we can't do) and can't find them either and has given up for the moment.
As for the cross stitch I still have a Jo Verso book with tiny patterns suitable for cards etc so will have a look for something really simple.
Lovely sunshine again, hope you have some too. x .

Synon, how lovely to have your daughter visit, be good for you x

I really miss cross stitching, I just cannot watch tv without stitching. In the evenings I just play games on the iPad, boring.

I have done so many , always loved ‘All Our Yesterdays’ kits, but a lot of back stitching which I now find difficult because of low vision. The last work I completed was a Welsh sampler for younger daughter, ‘Cariad’ at the centre. Did two samplers for granddaughters, from Pooh Bear quotes,
“You are braver than you believe,etc”

I would do a small one to start again, when i was in a very dark place last winter I found a pattern on Etsy, I loved it. It It has BlueBells each side and at the centre “ In my garden I will dwell, with Dasies,Buttercups and Sweet Bluebells” ? it is so sweet. My three sisters are obsessed with housework, they always use to criticise me for putting my interests before dusting, so I stitched a small sampler for the hall “ a tidy house is a sign of an empty life” ? do try a small sampler , your daughter is right. You will get back to your larger work x

Annie Our cherry blossom has gone too but it was really beautiful and I am hoping we may actually get some cherries this year. We have two morello cherry trees trained on a north facing fence and they have got some set fruit on them, more on one than the other. It has been a long held ambition to be able to make a cherry pudding from home grown fruit so you never know. Only one little cherry hung on to ripen last year but it was the first proper year as you are supposed to pick off the flowers the very first year following planting. My cousin helped me pick off all the flowers off those, and then the new apples and the pears last year - I thought she was going to cry! I felt like it too but the trees have grown very strongly and there is even more on them this year so hopefully we may have fruit coming out of our ears!
I love cross stitch and have done a few over the years but not been able to do it post stroke. I am going to keep trying but it is hard as my concentration just isn't there nowadays. What are you doing or is it a new one that you are starting? I have quite a big one that I haven't been able to finish but DD suggests I get a really tiny one to do before I go back to that one. She could have a point!
I am very happy today as our DD has arrived to stay for a few days during half term. Trying not to count down to when she goes again and to just relax and enjoy. So good for DH, he is grinning from ear to ear!

Yes my son in law is looking forward to holidays in Cornwall ?

They will be missing you too. Grandparents are important in children’s lives. Luckily you can all use the phone on a regular basis and you might have the internet and Skype. Photos are easily sent this way. Then the West Country is a wonderful place for holidays.

Synonymous x

The Cherry Blossom has gone so quickly this year . Hope June will bring sunshine . Will miss daily chats with younger daughter for a month , her husband is home . Granddaughters moving this month too. I am going to try getting back to cross stitching , it’s relaxing .

Dear Annie just as Terri says.
Hope you are managing to enjoy the lovely sunshine atm. Sadly we had a fair bit of wind today which was blowing away so many petals. We haven't had enough of them yet so hope they will cling on for a while longer yet.

Thank you Terri x

I've only just discovered this thread. It's hardly surprising you feel sad Annie given everything that you have had to go through during the past year. No comments other than to pass on kind thoughts and hope that you continue to post and that you draw some comfort from many of the good people on GN, especially from those who have been through recent bereavements themselves. Talking about overwhelming sadness is certainly not selfish and if that proves cathartic for you and anyone else, then post away

So true MawB, thank you.

Thank you Maw that is really helpful. I think many of us do all that instinctively which I know I do but I hadn't analysed it. I think I felt a bit like when you accidentally poke a wound and didn't really want to think it through myself which in itself isn't very good either.
I am trying to help DH be more accepting of all that has happened to him and it really is a type of bereavement. He feels he has lost so much of what he was but I keep telling him that what he was (and still is) is what is helping him to get through everything now. I feel a bit the same myself especially when he gets down as that is so unlike himself before the crash. The PTSD is the worst but he is getting help with that thank goodness. He has just had another op and we are hoping that is the last one. I expect it is post op blues and sadly we all have 'stuff' of some sort to work through!

Thank you for that Maw - so true.

That is true .

I know my husband would have chosen death over being severely disabled , I accepted that . Didn’t ease the loss I felt.

My darling daughter can no longer be hurt, no longer suffer the darkness her illness caused, I find acceptance in that, doesn’t ease my loss

This is better I hope.
Echo the sentiments. to all who are grieving.

I hope this is legible. It’s not too clear so I might try to transcribe it. But in the meantime, here it is.
I find it very true

I think we have to work our own through but support makes a difference.

I think we agree with each other synonymous.
I have in the past, tried to “compartmentalise” issues in my life, “file” them and try to allow other things to occupy my mind. While still a full time Secondary teacher, that worked to a certain extent-a demanding class of teenagers left me little time to dwell on, for a short while, in the classroom at the time, paws redundancy, my elderly parents’ increasingly declining health 350 miles away (and refusal to move nearer) or indeed the diagnosis resulting in Paws liver transplant. The respite was temporary however and while it was respite of a sort, not a solution.
So it can come back to the gravity of the issue and whether or not there is in fact a solution or as is often the case, whether you have to work your own way through, living with the issue, learning to cope with it, learning to make it a part of your life- rather like you might live with a permanent physical disability or amputation. I am full of admiration for people like Doreen Lawrence who turned the unspeakable loss of her son Stephen to become a positive force in the community or like paralympians who have not only learned to accept their disability but are able to turn it to a positive part of their lives.
So I suppose that is what I mean by “holistic”.

Sorry Maw that is impossible! Don't worry about trying to answer that one for me as I don't think it can be done. People spend a lifetime writing books on that sort of thing after all.

I think we all have regrets Maw because "of all the forms of wisdom, hindsight is by general consent the least merciful, the most unforgiving". Quote - John Fletcher.
I think we all need to be cut more slack! Each generation seems to find both the one before and the one after them to be very diferent and consequently hard to deal with.
It is only theories which turn out to be neat. From recent experience (and observation of someone close to me) I do not think it possible to compartmentalise or put things in boxes so I suppose that means I agree with "a holistic approach" but I have no idea what that would look like, so to speak. Any help with that would be much appreciated as it might assist me to be more helpful. The older I get the more I realise there is to learn!

I don’t know if it was or not oldbatty.
I look back at missed opportunities to make my late parents’ lives happier and am very sorry. So perhaps I think some people should cut them some slack. They may have failing mental faculties and they won’t be there for ever.
I also look back at Paw’s and my life together and regret time “wasted”which we will never get back. I do not subscribe to neat theories about “putting things in boxes” as I subscribe to a holistic approach to loss and grieving.

Thank you Doodle, please keep me there X

annie no wise words from me just continued prayers for your spirits to be lifted and for you to find some peace ( hug)

was it you Maw who commented that its unkind to be negative about elderly parents? Of course it is but its unkind of them to refuse point blank to make adjustments and be vile to me, whilst heaping adoration on strangers.

Anyhow sorry folks, I'm rambling this is not my thread.

no wish to offend, but I a kind person and I have had my fair share of bad stuff. I don't subscribe to the "put stuff in a box" theory. God wouldn't it be great if we could do that!!

All I was saying was, sometimes a little trick like this ( I think it might be CBT ?) can buy you a tiny window of respite from the constant churning and thinking