Coffee? (Not what you think)

I totally agree with you there paddyann why do restaurants and cafes assume that all children want eat is fish fingers, sausages or chicken nuggets? My grandchildren have always eaten whatever we/their parents have. Curries, stews, casseroles,pastas, roast dinners etc. I can’t see why they can’t offer just offer everything in smaller portions.

"Most" children dont like things because they aren't given the chance to taste them luluagust Thats a bit of a bugbear with me ,mine ate all the same things we did ,yet when we visited friends or went out to eat out came what they call childrens food.Sausages,macaroni,etc .Mine used to be incensed that there wasn't childrens portions of real food.

If the gran has been giving a taste of coffee when she knows DIL is against it that is obviously wrong, most children don't like it anyway as it is so bitter. Wonder what DIL would have done about the old grans who used to give a finger soaked in sherry for the baby to suck on!

It wasn’t so much sharing a cup with a toddler that I said yuk to, as the toddler sharing a cup with an adult.

It’s estimated that three quarters of over sixties ( with their own teeth) have some form of bacterial gum disease. Bacterial. Easily passed on, especially if new teeth are making their way through.

Not to mention all the other stuff that comes in saliva.

I wouldn’t share a cup with anyone. Not even the lover. Though I know that doesn’t make sense.....

Has the mumever given the child a sip of tea?

What about coffee cake? I know someone whose favourite cake it was when she was a child.

Well I don't think either side covered themselves in glory in this case. The DIL may (or may not) have overeacted to the coffee incident - but the MIL was certainly extremely rude for shouting at her DIL and calling her a "cow" and other names.

This is really about two differing views on bringing up children colliding with a bang that set of a family row with anger and hurt feelings on both sides.

We have all been there and done that, haven't we?

I drank coffee from the age of two, with plenty of milk in it, and no-one in Scotland in 1953 thought that at all odd. Or if they did, they kept their opinions to themselves.

In Denmark at the same time, coffee was considered EXTREMELY HARMFUL to children under the age of 14, although they were allowed to drink tea. As recently as 2001 the same view was held in Poland, as I found out when helping run a holiday camp in Denmark for Polish orphans.

Any grandparent who ignores a parent's wishes regarding the upbringing of their child is out of line in my opinion, and so is a husband who is not prepared to stick up for his wife's right to decide, although it is fair enough if he criticised her manner of expressing herself to his mother.

A husband and wife who don't agree on any point regarding their children's upbringing should sort the matter out in private and present a united front to the children and both sets of grandparents, plus uncles, aunts and busybodies.

Children are over protected these days IMO. Iwas given a fatty pork chop to suck on by my granddad when I was 6 months old. I'm still alive! ( and my BMI is normal)

I would not have given my own small child a taste of coffee certainly not someone elses.
There are no right or wrong rules Its a choice made by the parent and should be respected.

I get a bit concerned when my 10 yr old GS knocks back red wine at family parties but I say nothing. Should I?

Oh yikes Grammaretto this is a whole other kettle of fish isn't it?

I have a 12 year old DGD and a 10 year old DGD and whilst their parents are young and laid back about most things I can't imagine in my wildest dreams they would allow them to drink alcohol. Having said that, children do drink wine with meals in France don't they ? So maybe its just me.
Personally I wouldn't say anything as its up to his/her parents to decide.

Wee ones always want to try what grownups have so it doesn't surprise me. I get a bit concerned when my 10 yr old GS knocks back red wine at family parties but I say nothing. Should I?

My late mum always served afternoon tea at hers on a Tuesday. I picked the children up from school and we knew great grandma would have the table all set with proper cups, saucers and tea plates. They loved the tea being poured from the teapot and putting their own milk and a nip of sugar in. She always served little sandwiches and cakes to go with it. Happy days.

my youngest GD is a real Tea jenny every 20 minutes she asks for a 2wee cup of tea" when she was very small maybe 2 she came downstairs from bed at around midnight and announced I should make her a wee coffee ,it was very funny .She was stood in her nightie with a nappy hanging down and complaining because I said just milk at this time of night

My grandchildren all enjoy a cup of milky tea paddyann . I prefer mine like "builders" but we all enjoy a cup together. Some of us, even dip biscuits in

dont know what happened there .I put my grandchildren out in the garden in their prams with no issues from my children

My mother used to make milky coffees for us when we were very small ,we also drank tea regularly.We all grew up fit and healthy and as far as I know none of us is addicted to either "substance" I know a lot of families from Europe who live here now and their children have coffee and even watered down wine with meals once they get to a certain age .They are all lovely families who see no harm in something their mothers did with them.
Chinesecrested I put my GC out in the g,my children had no issues with it garden in the pram too...even on colder days

It certainly looks like it. In that case the mum has every right to be cross!!

NotSpaghetti, if that is the post, I would suggest the wife has bigger problems than her MIL. She needs to sort her OH out! However, I am sure that shouting in front of the toddler was not the way to go and both the women were at fault.

Yes, but of course we don’t actually know if this IS the one that the OP read.

Well if that is the OP then it sheds a whole new light on this argument doesn't it NotSpaghetti

Assuming the above is the OP then I now agree with the mother as it seems that this was not a one off taste.

Would have liked to see the actual post... have looked on mumsnet... I wonder if it’s the one that begins like this.....

“She gave my 2 year old DS coffee. She used to do it even before he turned two, I've repeatedly told her not to do it even in front of DH so many times.
So yesterday I was in the kitchen and they were in the living room. I saw her let DS sip on her coffee, I lost it and told her not to do that again. She started shouting at me, I shouted back and she called me a cow, and some other names, he just stood there watching us. Then she stormed off, and he went out to speak to her, like trying to apologise on my behalf or he was trying to comfort her. Then he came back, and told me not to shout at her like that again etc”

I wouldn't give a toddler coffee either Harri (I don't drink it anyway) but this was a "sip" or a "taste" not a cup full.

I would never give coffee to a toddler, I always play safe and follow parent's wishes to the letter when it comes to food and drink. Have you ever watched a toddler who has had chocolate and coffee ? they bounce off the walls.

Absolutely Icanhandtb. This is what I was trying to say earli6ee. Why it should develop into a row (unless shes done it repeatedly after being told not to) I've no idea!