What irritates you about other Gransnetters?

People who get irritated by things that don't really matter. Like - those of us who don't post links

I'm still smiling at a comment a page or two back about Schrödinger's cat being 'put out'. I'm imagining a discomfited cat outside the back door!

That poor cat must be having a confusing time.

Thank you Marydoll for the link to competition winners thread, and thanks also to others, for their good wishes.

MOnica YES! None of us have any control over which level of society we are born into and some none over the one they are in now. I was accused of 'polishing my halo', because I said I had provided for my retirement, by someone who I can only assume was not able to do so. I hadn't complained about anyone who had not done so.

I recognise that we all have difficulty really understanding how anyone outside our own place in society lives unless we have worked with people in a different position. I find it hard to understand how anyone really wealthy lives as well as anyone on the poverty line and therefore I don't judge any of them.

I think that's OK as it could give the OP a different perspective on their problems KatyK

I have just discovered what makes me grit my teeth and want to throw something at the computer when I see it on GN. It is all those posters who love parading their working class origins and dismiss anything they do not know or have never experienced as being something only 'posh' people do/say/experience. The inference being that by not being 'posh' (whatever that means) they have some superior virtue that those who are 'posh' do not have and that anybody who has something they do not have or knows something they do not know are therefore less virtuous and deserve all the contempt they pour upon them.

It is a most unattractive characteristic and does its perpetrators no kindnesses.

I irritate myself sometimes when the thread is long and I post without reading the whole thread I also sometimes worry that I have posted regarding a person's problem and made the thread about my problems and not theirs!

Gummybears Thank you, that explanation is very perceptive and rings true. I hope it gives posters food for thought.

Baggs said their good intentions are the point - Well, Yes, and normally that would be appreciated. If, however, the OP is in really dire straits then they may interpret these comments as mere platitudes or 'deal with it' which they cannot do at that point.

The best advice I have been given on GN was the suggestion that I join the AS Talking Point forum, where everyone has experience of caring for someone with Dementia and therefore truly understands the problems and emotional turmoil. This kind of 'advice' i.e. a referral to specialist help is one of the most useful and positive aspects of GN.

annsixty

This whole thread is irritating me.
Couldn't agree more ann

Understandable when a link hasn’t been posted as there are members, myself included, haven’t mastered the art of doing so

If I’m unsure of the topic being discussed, I google it then return to the thread.

It's a loaded question really. GN is a microcosm of any cross section of people, all having different experiences that shape varying opinions, some of which end up on these forums. As in life, some may get on one's nerves and correspondingly any of us may get on their nerves. That's life!

An OP that starts with an exclamation mark. A trivial irritation, and not specifically about this one.

Posters who launch into a topic from the news and assume that everyone knows what they're talking about. Why can't they post a link as well?

This whole thread is irritating me.
But as the the question was asked, those who know there is only one opinion which counts and it is theirs.
This does not happen often but it gets my back up when it does.

Granny23, I think in part that is a tone issue, and I hasten to say, not confined to these forums!

It seems to crop up a lot, in my experience, on forums about family troubles in particular.

And it's not even the advice, it's how it's being presented.

"You should just do X" can indeed easily come off the way you describe, when if the exact same advice was presented as "Did you already try X, and what happened when you did?" or "Is there a reason that X wouldn't work for you?" the unfortunate implication you describe wouldn't arise.

It does lead to some unnecessary aggravation on threads with an upset OP and other posters giving advice with good intentions, who now are angry at the OP's upset and irritated response.

It's easy to forget that the OP's problem is very real.

It isn't just AIBU - it is other threads where they don't bother to read. e.g. Poster asks for advice and gets plenty and then up pops someone who says 'try X' when that was suggested 2 days before and OP has already explained that she had tried it and it didn't work!

I get irritated on AIBU threads where the person asks and lots of people reply and the OP says 'sorry I can see I was wrong and I shall go and put it right' - several people then say 'well done OP' - all really good BUT then we get to the irritating part and someone pops up quite nastily to tell OP that she was being massively unreasonable having obviously not read the thread!
Not only have they failed to see the update but they have said what has already been said several times!

be presented with a whole host of instant fixes of the 'you should just' variety.

I think it's unreasonable to complain about being presented with fixes for a problem. People present fixes in an attempt to be helpful. Their fixes might be useless but that isn't the point; their good intentions are the point and the fact that they've responded at all.

The point of writing the problem down on Gransnet is, I suppose, to get it off your chest (problem shared and all that), not to ask for fixes.

So there is an unintended clash of intentions. Shrug. Or, as Minibaggs and her pals would say: deal with it.

Which brings me to what irritates me on GN, which I've only just realised: people getting irritated at other people's posts in situations like the above.

The thing that annoys me most on GN (and other fora) is when someone (sometimes me) posts about an intractable problem, only to be presented with a whole host of instant fixes of the 'you should just' variety.

This implies that either:

a) the OP is so thick that they have not thought of this obvious, easy solution
b) that they have not already tried it unsuccessfully
or c) the OP is being deliberately awkward or obtuse.

The reality is that some problems have no good solution, let alone an easy, off the shelf one. Also what worked for one person may not be possible for another due to factors such as illness, mental health issues, distances, poverty, other family commitments.

I do understand that many people cannot bear to hear someone in distress and feel driven to respond with something they think might be helpful. However the OP may only be seeking some understanding of their predicament and support to come to terms with it.

A poster states their problem situation and asks for advice
FarNorth or they then disappear completely never to be heard of again!

maybe it's annoying of me to be boasting about that?
No, it's good to hear of someone we 'know' who has won something

Far North
www.gransnet.com/forums/competitions/1228268-Won-anything

FarNorth - enjoy your Scottish Feast! Sounds good to me, not annoyed at all. My attitude to competitions is if you don't enter you certainly won't win! I've had a couple of lovely books for GC.

I'm still smiling at a comment a page or two back about Schrödinger's cat being 'put out'. I'm imagining a discomfited cat outside the back door! ?

Where do you find lists of competition winners, by the way?

I've just won a Scottish Feast hamper and a copy of Death of an Honest Man.
Looking forward to them arriving.
(maybe it's annoying of me to be boasting about that?)

Cave woman. I too enjoyed reading Imperfects posts. If I remember she started full time work. Hope she returns one day.