The man in the report was blind. This does not make him incapable of standing....or am I missing something here?
Things that (sometimes unreasonably) get on your nerves...hopefully lighthearted
The man in the report was blind. This does not make him incapable of standing....or am I missing something here?
I travel on public transport quite frequently in the Melbourne, Victoria, CBD. I am a fit and well grey haired 67 year old and I must say I am very pleasantly surprised how often I am offered a seat. Usually I decline but am very particular in thanking the person for their kind offer and, if I decline, explaining that I am not travelling very far.
At first there is the OMG realization that I have reached that age but most important is the recognition that, even if you don't need the seat at this time, you are really appreciative of the courtesy and consideration that prompted the offer. I have seen some pretty crabby and ungracious old people on public transport and they do us all a great disservice.
Although I am only 62 I often use a walking stick when I'm out, I do find this helps as it makes my disability visible. I don't use buses/trains/tube at the moment but have experienced both sides of the coin. I have had young men (late teens/early 20s) help me onto buses if I've had several bags. Travelling by train with a suitcase I rarely have to ask if someone can help me on/off train, again often the young ones, male & female & also had them ask are you ok from here.
I cannot bear rudeness whether from young or old. I always thank someone who holds open a door, man woman or child, I also hold doors open for others.
On the subject of elderly taking the piss the michael, when I was working I was queuing in M&S Food Hall in my lunch break an elderly lady asked if she could go in front of me as she only had 1 item, she was put firmly in her place as I had limited time
This would not have happened in Edinburgh. I’ve live here 9 months and the young and old give up the necessary seat. This goes for parents with proms. They are so much more considerate here. It was the best move I’ve made, I just love it here and the people are amazing
hazbeen I couldn’t agree more. Youth is, unfortunately, not a guarantee of good health.
I honestly don’t mind standing, I’m 66 and fortunate to still be quite fit. It doesn’t seem right that I get a seat simply by virtue of my age.
Some posters have remarked about hidden disabilities and the need sometime for a seat not being obvious. This happens whenever my daughter takes my DGS on the bus or train. He is 6ft tall she is 5ft but she oftens seats him then stands beside him. He is autistic and has panic attacks in crowded situations and unfortunately sometimes its unavoidable to travel at other times or means. Some people have made rude comments and have verbally abused him for not standing. I wish people would be a little more careful and consider there may be something they are not aware of going on.
It works both ways.
As a student (in the seventies) I remember holding shop doors for people and them walking through without a smile or a thank you - I usually called out “You’re welcome!”
With regard to children using seats on public transport, anyone under 30 has grown up with seatbelts in cars so are used to having their own seats. Parents think they are safer having their own seat rather than standing, although why they don’t pull younger ones onto their knees I don’t know.
It's not just people offering seats, it's the other examples of bad manners.
The other day, I went to catch a train into Glasgow. The carriage door next to me wouldn't open and as I moved up the platform to get on the train, I was pushed out of the way by the many young people who were standing on the platform. Not as much as an "Excuse me", from any of them.
Later on, I was waiting for a lift in a dept store, when a young mother came up with her partner. When the lift arrived, she and her partner barged in front of me and positioned the pram, so that it was difficult for myself and another lady to get in, despite the fact that we had been there before her.
It doesn't matter whether you are young or elderly, good manners cost nothing.
It could all be due to the fact that I am so small, I am invisible.
Back ‘in the day’ ehen children paid 1/2 fare for bus etc there was an expectation that they would either stand or sit on mums knee if an adult required a seat.
I find it disheartening to see toddlers being given seats, when people in more need ( older, frailer, less stamina!) are required to stand
I was surprised and pleased to be offered a seat every time I used the subway in New York. The ‘rudeness’ of New Yorkers was absent when I visited.
I don’t wAnt to go off at too much of a tangent but, the big issue for me is poor manners, lack of pleasant politeness. It’s striking just how much foul language is used in public spaces. It goes hand in hand with throwing rubbish, no please or thank you, holding doors for the person following behind, helping people who need a hand and so on.
Most people do these things but the British do seem to have a monopoly on ill manners
I am a frequent visitor to NY and on every occasion that I use the subway, if there isn’t a free seat, someone offers me theirs. It is simply good manners and maybe those lessons are learned in childhood?
I have been lucky enough to be offered a seat on the underground if I am in London but usually by a younger woman or somebody on holiday who has the idea that this is what the British do! I would have a problem strap hanging now although it isn't obvious so just very grateful. I think men are sometimes reluctant to offer in fear of being rebutted which is a shame.
I have had to ask for a seat a few times and I think the important thing is to ask the person in a warm friendly apologetic manner, and offer an explanation eg I have a back problem and its very painful to stand. I always say ' thankyou, thats very kind of you.' Approaching people in a pleasant manner and offering an explanation seems the best way to get a result. People respond to friendliness and smiles, but not to being told what to do by someone who feels entitled. I always bear in mind that the seated young worker may have been on their feet all day, and that seat might be desperately needed relief for their aching legs.
Maybe if older people actually bothered to THANK the younger generation when they do give up their seat, they’d do it more often?
(I generally find the younger people to be polite and it’s the old codgers that seem to think that by virtue of being old they deserve respect and don’t realise it works both ways!)
Just pop over to Mumsnet to see the attitude that children under 5 need a seat more than adults despite the fact that they don't pay! My children and grandchildren always sat on my knee or stood in front of my legs if a seat was needed by an adult. I was in Prague recently and was offered a seat many times. I guess I must look old now!
It all starts at home .Those who sit tight, with no thought to the elderly, clearly pregnant or disabled , are as late DH would say not brought up 'dragged' up.
While we were on hols in Malta using the famous buses to get around, we were almost always offered a seat. We accepted gratefully, as our strap hanging days are over.
Not so in this country however, where it seems that it's more important for a child to sit rather than an older person. Where has that come from?
I have a bad back at the moment, for a few months, actually so am grateful for a seat.
Re baby boomers, noticed that instead of having Saturday night out, young people have a Friday night out also. How do I know, next doors 17 year old grandson wakes me up bringing girlfriend home in a taxi at 1.30 in the morning the taxi pulls up on my drive. So two nights out each weekend no wonder they cannot save up. Plus a TAXI.
Occasional poster, longtime lurker here. Just wanted to say that I always offer my seat to someone who needs it - I'm in my early 50's. I visit London several times a year, (I grew up there), and it's the only place I use public transport. I was brought up to offer/give up my seat. I remember having to sit on DMs lap or stand beside her, in order to let someone have my seat. I remember hoping that someone would give me their seat when my little legs were tired
.
When I was in my early my 20's, I offered my seat to a woman who I thought was pregnant. She wasn't and I felt dreadful, but she reassured me that it happened to her a lot, nevertheless
. It hasn't stopped me from offering my seat, but I do secretly hope I'm not going to offend someone when I do.
I'm afraid I couldn't read the article. I read the headline and it sounded heartbreaking. What I've heard from people with disabilities who travel on public transport, is that it can be a nightmare and is constantly challenging. I wish that would change.
I’m 55 and all my life I offered my seat up to anyone I saw or thought was less able to stand than myself (I suffer with neuropathy in my feet) I see so much ignorance and rudeness from all ages. I saw a lady go flying when a bus driver slammed his brakes on suddenly. I rushed to help her up because she looked hurt and struggling and she told me to F off! I understood her embarrassment but people are just nasty. I find it very sad.
My husband, as a young man would have been horrified to accept a seat offered by an older person or a woman, he is blind a Dad, and a guide dog user. His response would been “I can stand thank you and my dog always lays on the floor is there an older person who needs a seat?” Now he is 75 he still insists that I take the seat. And by the way I love Londoners I never have to stand on the tube!
Very high fares(and low wages to boot) here in the NE so can (kind of) see your point hulahoop but surely it’s just common courtesy to stand for someone (anyone) less capable of doing so.
I think some of never giving up seats is down to the fact that on buses pensioners don't pay an the younger people have to pay high bus fares so they feel I have paid for my seat so I am using it . I have also seen some very nasty pensioners not moving for mums with prams and even not moving for wheelchair users when they physically can . I have stood up for people and have stood when I haven't been well unfortunately it's how the world is now .
My DD frequently stands both ways to and from work and she is VERY obviously pregnant (35 weeks ) . Everyone just seems to be in their own bubble these days.
What I find most disappointing are the parents with very young children ( 3, 4 5yrs old or so) who don't teach their children to stand up and offer a seat to an adult, elderly or otherwise. These children could easily sit on a parents knee and are travelling for free anyway. No wonder they grow up to have no respect for others, parents to blame again.
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