Do Grandchildren make us stay?

Im finding it really interesting, hearing about your experiences.
I think it's the risk factor of settling near children and grandchildren and then they move away. As has been mentioned in the thread, the grandchildren grow up.

Then we'll all be Great grandparents! Not too soon hopefully.
My grandmother brought me up and was a terrific "Grand nan" to my boys. Sadly, my own mother (my boys grandmother) was not cut out for family life. Great grandparenting was my grandmothers joy in life.

I would never move away from my dgs. He is now 10 months old and the absolute light of my life. I visit once a week at the moment, but have desperately been hoping to take over childcare when dil finally goes back to work. However I found out recently through chatting to a friend of ds that he is seriously considering a work transfer, the only reason he hasn’t so far is that dil doesn’t want to be away from family. So my advice to anybody would be to think very carefully before making any major decisions. Our dgc’s parents could decide to move at anytime, then where would you be?

We moved north to be near our DDs and GC. Fortunately, they both moved to the same town. My DH had to move his business as well. We’re really happy where we are now. Lovely part of the country.

As others have said there’s no ‘one size fits all’. Wishing you all a Happy Easter ? whatever your lifestyle choices.

We are in the opposite situation - our granddaughters lived 5 mins away until they were 10 and 6 when their parents moved two hours away ten years ago due to our son's work. Our other son emigrated to NZ when they were expecting their first baby 5 years ago so we've never had them nearby. We are completely alone here and have considered moving nearer son 1 but our eldest granddaughter is now 20 and living with her partner and the other is 17 this year so we wouldn't be part of their lives now. We briefly considered emigrating but are too old for such a huge life change and they have their lives to lead so we wouldn't want to be a burden on either of them.

We moved last year to be nearer to our daughter and her family and it has proved to be an excellent decision. We now live near to the sea, we have gone out of our way to join new things and meet new people as we didn’t want to be dependent on our daughter for company. As our other grandchildren live in the USA and we see them rarely, we were feeling increasingly isolated and wanted to make the move whilst we still had the energy and desire to find a new life.

We moved closer to our two DDs and 5 GC but fortunately rented a property for a few months to see how we liked the area, being so close to family and away from our own friends and interests. For a whole list of reasons we decided that it wasn't the right decision so we returned to a pleasanter part of the area we had previously lived in, just over an hours drive from the families so we can still easily keep in contact. Renting and trying it out was such a good idea and helped us make the right decision.

Gmelon.
GC grow very quickly. Before you know it they will be making their own lives so where does that leave you. ?
Relocate and enjoy.

There are a thousand perspectives on this question. I think it comes down to what gives you joy and we all have a different answer. We only have one life, if we are lucky enough to have choices go for joy.

I wouldn’t move and be away from my grandchildren and indeed my children. If they moved away from me though .... I wouldn’t follow. They stay because they want to...and I’m very cheap childcare!

I used to live a two hour journey from family. Since we retired we have moved within a few minutes drive, so we see them more often but for shorter times. I am happy to help out but we also have our own lives so I don’t have any regular commitments to them. Today I spent time with one GC and am now off to spend time with another as they are off school. I don’t actually see them as often as I would like to, but it is just how busy everyone is,
When we lived at a distance, they came to stay, and I loved having them for several days at a time in the summer holidays. So it is swings and roundabouts.
Essentially I think you have to live your life and do the best you can all round.

I would have loved to move to France, but missed the chance when my son and his wife had the children. I don't think I could move now, not until they're a lot older anyway. and by that time I'll be too old! My ddil relies on me and her own mum quite heavily, and I adore my dgc and would miss them terribly if i couldn't see them two or three times a week, so I'll have to make do with holidays!

My GC are 13 and 21 and both live very active lives. Once I retired (District nurse) I felt that I need a complete change of life and moved to France for seven years and then Portugal. I see my youngest GC on his birthday and hopefully once a year during school holidays other than that his life is far too busy to spare time to visit or for us to visit him.
Eldest DS in uni and doesn't have any contact with us, his choice not ours, so I belive that we have to get on with our lives and try to maintain contact with their very busy lives I don't think it would have been any different if we had remained in the area they lived. We have to know when to let go and be there when we're needed.

I'd love to relocate but I'd miss my DC and GDC who live within a reasonable travelling distance. I moved away from my parents though with no regrets. My grandmother lived near us when I was a child but I never felt close to her and I often wonder what my GC will think of me when they're older! I can be a bit of battleaxe!

We have not moved at all (46 years in this village, 2 miles from where I was born. It was the 2DDs who within months of each other, sold their city flats, bought cottages near ours and produced babies. Recently retired, we were able to offer loads of childminding and DH renovated both of their new homes.

What goes around, comes around. Now that the DGC are 9, 10 and 11 and DH has FTD the roles are reversed - we benefit from loads of practical and emotional support from the DDs and their OHs.

I always hankered after a cottage by the sea with the hills behind but have settled for just that, if only for 2/52 each year, when the whole family decamps to Isle of Barra.

I would never consider moving away from my grandchildren or my children BUT I would never discourage them from moving away from me as they have to live their own lives. Even if I didn't have my children, I'd have my Mother as my sister got away when she was much younger.

I relocated 13 years ago to be near my grandchildren and it's the best thing I ever did. It keeps me young and active too.

We had a small apartment in Malaga (bought 15y ago) and the family always knew we wanted to enjoy being there more once we retired (just over 3 years ago now). So we divide our time between our two little places & it’s heaven. When we are here we are doting grandparents. We never wanted to be surrogate parents & be factored in for childcare plans. So many of our friends do it, an open ended arrangement & they look shattered. They say it’s too uncomfortable now to change things, or ‘we did it for one & feel we ought to do it now for the other’ etc. But much as it is done with kindness and love, they resent the lack of freedom in their retiremet - only being ‘able’ to get away in school holidays (when flights are more expensive). I feel very lucky. The best of both worlds. I realise not everyone has these choices so I never take my good fortune for granted.

I've moved away & come back - twice, once in the UK & once abroad! Even though the grandchildren have grown up & work away now, it's easier to see them even fleetingly face to face when they visit their parents.
I also value old friends, surroundings & shops, and- on a practical note, familiar hospitals!
I think it depends on what sort of person you are what will suit you best.

That was meant to read, my SON in law!

Very good to read all of the threads on this subject! My don in law is a serving soldier, finishing 26 years of service this summer and the family’s final posting is in Catterick, North Yorkshire. They like it so much they’ve decided to remain here.... he’s a Scot and my daughter is an Essex gir( but she’s not orange) . So last November , much to the dismay and disapproval of my friends, I have moved to be near the family... what a move over 2 days and great expense! I couldn’t be happier! I now see my beautiful 2 year old flame haired beauty whenever I wish and look after her each week regularly while Mum works part time. My friendships haven’t suffered as I regularly get a nice cheap train to London, see an exhibition and then travel on to Essex or to my other daughter in Hampshire. The move has really made me reassess how I use my time and I am lucky enough to have found work here as a Supply teacher which I love so my leap into the dark is working out well in every way! It was a big decision to make but I’m so glad I made it! I’ve always been somewhat unpredictable! Life throws a curved ball sometimes so catch it!

We moved 100 miles away from 2 of my children but I have other children in different parts of the country. I still travel back to babysit and stay over and have my granddaughter in school holidays.

I'd never move away from them. My son is a single father - I'm the co-parent of his two children and very devoted to them. He moved here when his situation changed and we'll always be close. My daughter had her 2 children when they were 1,000km away and it nearly killed me, I missed them so much. Thankfully her husband got a work transfer last year and they are now 1 hour's drive away. I see them all every week. These little people are my life - I'd never move away from them.

I could never live far from my family, my daughter lives next door with SIL and one grandson, my 2 sons with DIL’s and 4GC all live approx an hour away, so I am very lucky. I was asked to consider working in Australia a few years ago, and even tho it was only for 6 months, I just couldn’t go ! In theory it sounded a wonderful opportunity... however, the reality of saying goodbyes to grandchildren that used to cling to my legs when I went home .... I knew I was just kidding myself that I could go, and I just wouldn’t have been happy. We are all different so it has to be an individual choice.

We would never ever move away from the grandchildren.All five of them live in the same town and we live in a village nearby.DH especially is enjoying helping out and playing with them.He feels he missed out with our children when they were growing up as he had a very pressurised job and very little free time.He is making up for it now.?