Black humour

A few years ago DS's house was next door to a cemetery. He'd been using his garden hose when a chap on the other side of the fence asked if he could have a drop of water for the plants on his wife's grave.
DS obliged by feeding the hose through the fence and after turning on the tap, checking to see that the water was running, asked "Any sign of life?"

LouLou. The hearse at my dad's funeral set us all off giggling because of its registration. He never liked a fuss and it seemed like a direct message from him - 'F OF'!

when my friend's dad's ashes were to be interred in the area of a local cemetery reserved for such burials we were all standing waiting for the arrival of the casket. Eventually, after a call to the undertakers, her brother zoomed off in his car, returning shortly after bearing the casket and saying 'At least Dad got a ride in my Bentley!'!!!

I do remember my parents going to the wrong church and having to creep out halfway through the service when they realised why they didn't recognise anyone.
We nearly missed MiL's funeral (at a crematorium 10 minutes from home!) because DH decided he knew a better way to get there! We'd driven miles before he admitted he was wrong.

This isn't a funny story but it's one I've never forgotten. 20 years ago my friend's oldest son died in a car crash. To be honest he was a nightmare, dishonest, on drugs and alcohol but naturally she was do straight. Their next door neighbour had threatened him with a baseball bat more than once but said he would like to speak at the funeral. We all wondered what was coming, but we were amazed when he stood up and told the story of the prodigal son which he had learned word for word. It made such an impression!

Isn't it great that some humour can still come out of sad situations.
Years ago my Uncle worked for a local undertaker. When he drove to work he had to drive past my widowed Nans house (his Mum) and one day he noticed her blinds were still closed, unusual as she was always an early riser. So when him and his boss had to go to see a client an hour or so later they went back to the house. Still no sign of Nan, she didn't answer knock on door. So he went and got a ladder from outhouse, Uncle was a bit unhappy on ladders so his boss climbed up and tapped on the bedroom window. He was dressed in his dark suit, black tie etc. Took a couple of goes before eventually Nan heard them, opened the blind to see B looking back at her. Really made her jump lol. When she'd recovered she went down and let them in and while laughing accused them of touting for trade.

My OH never puts things away properly, they're often on the bottom step and he says they're 'in transit' so I've told him that there'll be no hearse for him, just a dirty white Transit van.
Because the ground had been so hard when my dad was buried there was some doubt about the depth of the grave when my mother died 15 year later. The undertaker phoned the Church warden and we were told to meet the grave digger who would 'probe the grave'. We turned up expecting high tech electronic equipment, what we got we a man with the longest kebab skewer I've ever seen!

We were sorting though our mother's clothes to find something suitable to take to the undertakers, she had had cancer and had lost an enormous amount of weight in the later stages. I picked up a suit she had worn to our daughter's graduation and said She liked this. My brother looked at it and said It's massive, it'd bury her. Seemed to be a good choice then!

My very straightlaced C of E husband and I attended my Catholic auntie's funeral. Luckily we were sitting behind the most significant mourners as when a Catholic hymn was sung promising to retake England for the pope we had to restrain our smiles.

I was at the funeral of an Uncle when my SatNav, which was in my handbag sprang to life (pardon the pun) with the instruction "turn around where possible". Fortunately, a hymn had just started so not many people noticed.

To divert to weddings for a minute, a friends daighter wanted the Brian Adams song 'Everything I do,I do it for you'. Unfortunately she asked the organist for the Robin Hood Theme and he musunderstood. She came down the aisle to Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Riding through the glen!

When we drove into the crem for my father in laws funeral right in front of us was the car of a man we did not like. He had a new personalised number plate NOB 1 we could not help laughing it was the bright spot on a sad day .

you're welcome.

I’m happy to be called a Lady MissAdventure! Thank you for your kind words.

Ah, sorry for your losses, ladies. Its awful, losing your mum. (Yes, I know, some don't like being called ladies, and some don't like 'losing' people)
Anyway, best wishes..

Me too blue45saphire. My mum died at the age of 86y last Friday and we have been with the funeral director today too. Big hugs to any other GN’s who are grieving at this time. These humorous posts have been a tonic this evening!

I am so sorry for your loss, blue45sapphire.

Oh, ladies, you have cheered me up! My DH died last week and we have been planning the funeral today. I could not help bursting into laughter at your stories.

When my father died his brother caused quite a problem by making certain demands which upset my mother. When his coffin was being carried into the church it narrowly missed hitting my uncle's head ! We said my Dad was trying to seek revenge on his brother.

When my mother died, myself and my two older sisters went along to the Co-op undertakers, where the kindly man solicitously went through various options with us. He then said “do you have any questions for me?” My oldest sister, who didn’t have a serious bone in her body and was noted for being able to keep a straight face, piped up “will the bill count towards my divi?” My other sister rolled her eyes, I nearly fell off my chair laughing, and the undertaker, who had heard it all before, laughed too, and said very definitely not! Gosh, I do miss the pair of them!

Mum's mother died, and she was cremated . Mum had asked for the ashes to be delivered to her, as they were to be sent to Canada for interment. One day Mum and I were sitting in the garden when the postman came and gave Mum a parcel - it was near to her birthday and she thought it might be a gift. She tore off the paper, and found a "Tupperware" box inside. Off came the lid....and a gust of wind blew Nan's ashes all over the garden. Too late, we both realised what had happened....and we both fell about in helpless laughter . I'm sure that Nan would have appreciated the humour of the situation ! She'd spent her last years sitting outside ,smoking Sobranie cigarettes and ashing them all over the garden, so somehow it seemed appropriate that her own ashes ended up there too .

When my MIL died I did not know the route from the church to the crem and took a wrong turn and finished up sailing over a motorway bridge whilst watching MIL in the hearse flying beneath us. I finished up on the opposite carriageway and we had to go about 10 miles to the next junction to turn around. Needless to say we missed the crem.

We were at a friend's funeral in a beautiful, ancient little country church. The atmosphere was very sombre as we waited for the family and the coffin to arrive - he had been a very jolly man who'd died too young.
However, as the coffin came in there was a sudden blast of very jolly music - IIRC it was With Cat Like Tread from Pirates of Penzance - he had been a G&S fan.
The atmosphere lifted at once - it was so appropriate for someone like him, and made everyone smile - which was exactly what he'd have wanted.

Our mother died on her bed in the living room . We used a pretty table cloth to cover her until she was taken to the funeral home. At the wake i was initially shocked to see the food laid on the same cloth . Then i thought of mum and it made me laugh , she would have thought it hilarious .

My brother and I inherited a very dark sense of humour from my mum.
When she and my step father married in the local registry office we found ,to our horror,that the registrar had a speech impediment. Her v's came out as 'w's'. Unfortunately,she would insist on using the word ' very' on every given opportunity. I was able to hold it together until the second time she said "this is a wery,wery,special occasion "
At that point I stupidly glanced at my brother only to see his shoulders shaking in the effort not to laugh. At that point I completely lost control and my brother and i had such a fit of full blown laughter that we had to excuse ourselves and go outside. Strangely my mum didn't notice the problem!