I'm feeling guilty

Be nice to her she's an old lady

My ex mil was extremely difficult to get on with and was often very mean towards me. My ex was an only child and his dad died when he was 9 so mil was like an extra person in our marriage. Where we went she came too.
When I had my 2 daughters she did not speak to me when I was pregnant as she did not want me to have children but she loved the girls and was very good to them.
I had 14 years of struggle with her, but when early signs of dementia set in she thought I was the best things since sliced bread and told everyone what a wonderful dill I was.
Towards the end though she didn’t know any of us.
A couple of weeks after her death my husband left me for my friend so my poor daughters lost their nana and their dad in one go.
So I put up with her nastiness for years and that was my reward.

Oh, if it's pethedine (spelling?) she'll love everyone!

My father in law is the same as your MIL. I'm still waiting for one nice comment though!

Gosh this rings a bell. My MiL was exactly the same but just before she died at 103 she always valued my opinion and relied on me. I realised that she had never realised how much I disliked her and for that I am proud. Maybe your Mil is the same.

She is a very sad, lonely woman. This was the first time I didn't walk away mulling over some mean comment she'd made. And she's never said anything remotely like that to me. I was trying very hard not to be cynical and blame it on the drugs! I will visit her again of course - she doesn't have many friends left and is lonely.

Try not to feel terrible minimo, she was like that ,so you had every right to feel how you did. Perhaps now in her vulnerable situation she has had time to reflect & wants to be at peace with those she may have to rely on ,I suspect it is she who is having regrets & wishing she had behaved better. Best wishes

Perhaps she's feeling a bit guilty too now mortality approaches.
You can't change the past. Guilt is a useless emotion unless it is a step to changing the present.
Perhaps you can both make a bit more effort and finish on a positive relationship

You said she was passive/aggressive minimo!

For your own conscience, and for your DH, it might be good to continue visiting her and being nice.