How do you define someone as being posh?

Actually, the word is 'smart'. Use of the word 'posh' is vulgar.

Now to find my Barbour and Hunters and take the Cavalier King Charles for a walk.

Oops - I'll just whip the milk bottle and marmalade jar off the kitchen table first.

I must be as vulgar as they come then Bagatelle because I think people who are well off as posh.

I was condemned as being 'posh' when I first met my then fiance's family. I'd been living in Austria doing a translation job for months, and had spoken nothing but German. It usually takes a week or two to get my Yorkshire accent back, and it hadn't come back when I met my future in-laws in Batley. Not sure if I was ever forgiven!! I wonder if it is true that the word 'posh' means 'port out, starboard home' for people coming and going to India. One thing is for certain, there was nowt 'posh' about the cross channel ferry that I came home on.

Petra: [QUOTE]
I can't believe that anyone actually uses the word posh anymore.
Most of the things mentioned are just common sense or personal taste.
Your little finger automatically points up when drinking from a small China cup.
I always use a fork for cake. I hate sticky fingers.
If you do eat rolls with your dinner, where else are you going to put the roll, on the table?
Who puts bottles of sauce on the table?[QUOTE]

I agree with everything you say except the sauce. I do put the sauce on the table the few times it's required, but there is only myself and my husband. We only ever cook for my son and DIL, and that's not very often as they live too far away, and from memory sauce hasn't been needed - however if it was, as it's only close family, the bottle would go on the table!

You're right the small pinky does seem to automatically stick out when trying to hold tiny handles on china cups - I noticed that the other day!

Nice to see you posting again Joan, was just thinking about you the other day.

Say front room, have sauce bottles on the table and desert is afters. Despite that have dined at several top class London hotels without disgracing myself.

Granny23......Did you mean to say that your very posh sister shops at Waitrose. Really posh people do not shop at Sainsbury’s as that’s where I shop!. I am a bit posh and I do know how to eat my asparagus and how to break my bread roll, and I use napkins (proper ones sometimes) and not serviettes. But does anyone really care anymore?.
I hate the word posh as many years ago when I was driving my young son back to school he refused to allow me up to his dormitory as he said his friends said I was posh and he was a bit confused.

Only hotels and airports have lounges.

Yes I agree about the little fin ger and china cups - it happens automatically.
I think the words I grew up with - lounge, toilet, perfume, pardon, mirror, serviette, etc are middle class as they are a bit Hyacith Bucket - trying to be posh but ending up twee.
When I read Nancy Mitfords book about U and non U I was amazed to fi nd the 'correct' words (uf you are U (upper class) are drawing room, lavatory, scent, what, look8ng glass and napkin. S cent and lavatory in particular sounded crude anx I still cant bring myself to say 'what' if I can't hear properly - I tend to say 'sorry?'
I belueve that Carole Middleton revealed herself as middle class to the Royal family by saying 'pardon'.
I always had lunch as elevenses and dinner at midday but even lunch at midday is wrong apparently. It's luncheon. . Mantelpiece is also.n9n U.
Posh is not the same as U and non U doesn't necessarily mean common.
Money has nothing to do with it. You can be U and poor and rich but common.
The only upper class person I knew well (widow of a Lord who lived in the dower house) had a very shabby and untidy home (with inherited good old furniture.) When invited for dinner she borrowed staff from her son's house (the big house) to serve. I couldnt stop myself thanking them when they served me but she didnt - one doesnt acknowledge staff! ( though I know she thanked them privately.) She spoke to theperson pn her right for one course and turned to her left the next and so on. She had immaculate manners and never made us feel out of place.

Apologies if anyone's posted this already. I haven't read through the whole thread!

How To Get On In Society by John Betjeman:
Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.

Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.

It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me

Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?

Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.

I agree 'posh' has no place in 21st century Britain. I've heard using proper grammar described as 'posh'. God help us. If it exists at all, it's a reflection of the speaker's insecurities.

Sorry for all the typos - clumsy fingers on my phone!
I meant to add I came out as middle class in the quiz though I knew some of the correct answers but tried to be honest . But some of the multichoice answers had nothing I would say.
By the way I do put sauce bottles on the table on the rare occasions we use sauce. But always put milk in a milk jug. And (for guests at any rate) serve veg in dishes and use a gravy boat. I hate food being plated up and prefer to serve myself.
I put the marmalade jar on the table but add a spoon so people dont dig their knives in !

Did the test. I’m ‘common as muck’. That’s good to know!

Wally Some of the wealthiest people I know are also the most vulgar! I like good manners and consideration for others, money is not a criterion.

The words 'please' and 'thank you' are seriously underused these days.

I don't mind if the sauce bottle is on the table, but please ensure that the top is clean and not covered with several weeks' sticky reside.

I like to dress smartly, especially when I go to the theatre.

I'm always grateful to people who offer a hand to my disabled husband - and encouraged by the fact that he rarely has to wait long for an offer of help when he needs it.

I don't like bad language, but maybe I should pity those with a limited vocabulary.

There is no need for people to shout so much. Since he had the stroke, my husband has become very sensitive to loud noises. My son has a friend with Asperger's who insists on travelling First Class because he can't cope with it, and I know several people who have age-related hearing problems who feel the same. This is not just being fussy - they feel real pain.

Lounge is common, sitting room is not.
Dinner at midday is common, lunch is not.
Rest room, bathroom & bog are common; toilet, loo and lavatory are not.
Tea is either a drink or a meal for children served at 5 o'clock in the nursery. Tea as a meal at any other time is common, as in 'will you be home for your tea?'
Dinner is served in the evening. Sauce bottles on the table are fine as long as the napkins (not serviettes) are linen (preferably Irish).
(There is a picture out there somewhere of the Queen's breakfast table at Balmoral, a jar of HP sauce in plain view.) Hiding sauce bottles or decanting them into little dishes is common. (Unless they are home-made, in which case it is fine for them to be spooned into little serving dishes - the Kilner jars in which they are stored would take up too much room and go off too quickly. They belong in the pantry).
Enormous TV sets on the wall (especially above the fireplace) and TV sets concealed behind cabinets are common, ancient TV sets are not.
TV and telly are common. TV sets are not.
Dessert, sweet and afters are common. Pudding is not.
Bad manners are common, good manners are not.
TV sets in bedrooms are common.
Shiny tights are common.
Brassy highlights are common.
Cats are common, dogs are not. Unless the cats are farm cats to keep the vermin under control on the estate, that's not common at all.
Estate means your grounds ie garden (preferably including a walled kitchen garden) and surrounding parkland. Any other sort of estate is common, other than your 'estate' which is being dealt with by Trustees after you are dead.
Passing away is common. Dying, died and dead are not.
Calling a spade a spade is not common. Calling a spade a garden implement or anything else is common.
Marmalade is never common (preferably served with an oatcake). Jam at breakfast is common unless you are in France when it is a 'preserve'. Just don't eat it with your croissant (that should be torn up and dipped in your coffee).
Shovelling shit is not common except it's called 'dung' and takes place in stables.
Parking space outside your house is common. Drives (preferably very long) are not.

Boot rooms are never common, especially when they have dead birds hanging among the waxed jackets and wellington boots.
Muddy dogs are not common, especially when they have the run of the house and are not confined to the boot room.

Leaving school with a small clutch of GCSEs or O levels is not common as long as you have good manners and say sitting room and pudding, not lounge and sweet. Having a degree in media studies is common, even if you say sitting room and pudding.

Anyone who says 'gotten' is common. As is shutting your cats in the lounge because of their muddy feet. (Daughter, are you reading this?)
It is possible to have a posh mother and a common daughter.
It is possible to have a common mother and a posh daughter.
Being an air hostess is common. Being married to the future King is not.
Being judgemental is common. Being open and accepting is not.
Silver cutlery is not common. Gold plated cutlery is.
Boasting is common.
I could go on...

Aspired to being posh! I knew I had succeeded when I used yellow dusters instead of old underwear!

grannyanna reverse snobbery?

Thank you for this NanKate. What a hoot! Camelotclub, I don't own an airport or a hotel (although it regularly feels like the latter) but I certainly do have a lounge and, by jove,
a living room. Ultra posh from the sounds of things here. I can't keep the grin off my face. How wonderfully silly we are.

Cats are common, dogs are not. Unless the cats are farm cats to keep the vermin under control on the estate, that's not common at all.

All the cats in the UK are getting armed, teeth and claws at the ready mymadeupname

Did you not know that dogs think they're human, cats know they're gods?

I meant to add that one way guaranteed to propel you from being 'common' to 'not common' (though it won't make you posh without additional tweaking to the dessert / pudding /lounge/ sitting room conundrum mentioned earlier) is to become an artist of some sort.

Being an artist is never common. If you can't draw or paint, try clay.

Does having a cupboard full of unused/forgotten art materials count?

It’s all down to accent in England and, of course, that’s down to education. You are all so class conscious here!

Mymadeupname I loved your list!
here in rural Oxfordshire you are posh if you drive a ratty old car, usually an old Volvo or old Land Rover Defender, usually full of muddy boots and Barbour jackets all suitably holey and with at least 2 smelly dogs.
You have an AGA in your huge and freezing cold kitchen. Posh people don’t put their heating on, they all went to boarding schools with no heating at all.
Usually they throw things on the floor as they all seem to think that a skivvy from the 19 th century will come along behind them and clear the mess away.
They usually have a voice that can carry across a Gymkana field.
They are often very friendly and will serve Waitrose biscuits straight onto the tablecloth and will shoo the dogs awf the table before you sit down.
They are usually very old and call their late parents Mummy and Daddy.
They have huge portraits of glowering ancient relatives hanging on the walls.
Stalwarts of various local voluntary groups.
Where would we be without them?

Jamilla, absolutely. You are more than halfway there!

As for cats I might have got that wrong. My cat thinks he's a king if not an actual god when he is actually a common tabby. So maybe he's both?!