Meltdown in the supermarket!

It’s the little things that set us off. My husband and I are being bullied and threatened by someone at the moment. All because my husband took over as chairman of our charity. I broke down sobbing in Tesco at the weekend in front of all the shoppers in a packed shop. I went outside and sat on a bench. It’s not anything to be ashamed of, to give way to your emotions. At least you had a much better and understandable reason than me.

Many years ago I was in church in Singapore on Mothers' Day with our two adult children in England. I had not seen
either for months and the church was full of complete families. It was just too much. Friends were SO kind but the flood gates opened.

I have spent the last few months weeping in supermarket aisles. Usually after bumping into friends who say something kind. Oh and the Range Xmas aisle. So don’t worry you are not alone!

Oh yesssss.... absolutely!!! Even more so at this time of year. The times I've had to rush out of shops playing nostalgic Christmas music..... can't cope ....!!!!

Just reading some of these post has bought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. I miss my parents so much and as Mum died just before Christmas it always casts a shadow over everything. Love, hugs and kisses to everyone who has someone they are still grieving for.

Oh sunseeker that really choked me, picturing you struggling to control your emotions like that in public. You poor thing, it must have been so hard. I do hope you felt better very quickly. and (((hugs)))

Christmas and bereavement are a devastating combination. We used to have such lovely ones after our family grew up and left. Now it's just me and I hate it, especially when the supermarkets start winding it up back in November after they've finished with flogging fireworks and hideaous Halloween masks. I'll be travelling 300 miles to be with my loving family, but would rather stay home with my guy if that were possible. Hugs to any of you who feel this way.

Songs are so special and moving I think most people would have a “moment “ like this .I know I have .
Don’t feel bad or embarrassed for having a kind heart xxx

christmas is a real struggle for those of us that have lost loved ones, so a massive hug for everyone out there that needs one xxx

sunseeker I'm so sorry and if I was there in the supermarket I would definitely give you a hug. I shall be looking out for anyone else in such a situation. Christmas is so emotional and music is such a huge trigger but can also be a real comfort. My best wishes for a peaceful Christmas and a hopeful 2018.

I was just the same a couple of Saturdays ago, the Salvation Army was playing carols in town, and it took me back to when my hubby used to be a brass bandsman, and played around the streets at Christmas.

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Nonnie - it is still very early days for you don't let anyone tell you that you should pull yourself together. I try to remember what someone told me shortly after DH died, they said the pain doesn't get easier, you just learn to carry it better.

To quote something I read: 'Grief is the price we pay for love'. A bit corny, but true.

I think it’s perfectly normal. There are still times after 23 and 6 years when something unexpected will trigger of my Mum or Dad and tears will start. I suppose to have these feelings means that we have been lucky enough to have lived and been loved.

Last year(1st Christmas without DH) I made a conscious decision not to listen to Classic FM. They play a lot of John Rutter which we both loved and DH had his own favourites which he would join in with.
It gets a bit better as the months/years go by, I find. This year I was able to sing in our village choir without welling up,and I have had CFM on all day. Music, like pefume, evokes such memories... I still get a bit weepy (on my own) when I hear Oh Holy Night, especially the Pavarotti version.
David Essex's 'Winter's Tale' resonates for a particular sad family reason..... and it's a real 'moan' as DH would say but can still make me feel emotional..... and it was being played in Wilko's(!!) last week, and when I went into the Oxfam shop 2 doors down the street... bugger me if the blinkin' thing wasn't being played again! I'm afraid I entered , walked briskly round the shop and departed.

Couldn’t cope, duh!

Yes, it’s happened to me. In the middle of a busy shopping centre and I was caught off guard and couldn’t help myself. I found a service doorway and just cried. And then some kind soul asked I was OK and I went into stiff upper lip mode, mumbled something unintelligible and hurried away. I was probably very rude to that person and I’d like to apologise to whoever it was because she was just being very kind but I could cope with her kindness and my grief at the same time.

Sympathy to all who have a difficult time at this ‘festive season’ and are reminded of their loss all the keener.
Never feel embarrassed though, find a quiet place to sit until you can carry on.
I think most of us will (or have already) have these moments.

Oh Sunseeker my heart goes out to you. So is not just me then.
I tried to do a Waitrose shop the week after Paw’s funeral and found myself physically incapable of taking single sizes off the shelf. I dare say everybody wasn’t a couple or happy family but they seemed it to me.
The final straw was a brass band playing carols outside the store.
Result - FAIL
Internet shopping for the time being.

Mind you it’s not just the predictable “triggers” which sneak up on me. I never know whether I will wake up in tears and be useless all day, or whether I will have my sensible head on.

Oh yes sunseeker. The moments hit when they hit, I'm afraid. This is from the lady who was found sobbing into the men's underwear in Debenhams because I suddenly realised that I would never be buying men's underwear again!
That was some years ago but I can still be caught unawares especially at this time of year

It’s the unexpected things that catch us out I think. I once stood at the bottom of an escalator in a very busy shopping complex and howled because I had seen the back of a head that looked just the same as my Grandad’s who had died a few months before. I was with our two young sons who just gave me a tissue and yanked me onwards. They weren’t at all embarrassed, although I was. Look after yourself sunseeker, it happens to most of us at some time.

Why do we avoid letting go when we are upset? What is the problem with it?

Says she who is a past master at hiding her feelings and bottling up my emotions.

Sunseeker - my condolences. I hope you are feeling better now.

Yes, I had a meltdown in a coffee shop this morning with my friend. She asked how my poorly grandson is doing and I had to reply 'not good' and suddenly tears were streaming down my face, all unexpected. Felt so stupid.

Oh sunseeker I do understand and don't worry about what anyone you don't know might have thought. Since DS died in July I have found myself blurting it all out to complete strangers in the oddest places but people are so kind it doesn't seem to matter. In fact I congratulated myself on not blurting the other day!

Thank you for posting this because I keep feeling that I should 'pull myself together' and 'get on with it' by now, If you still feel like that after 6 years I feel you have given me permission to feel as I do.

Big hug.

Every day seems to see my crying at some point these days. There isn't much that doesn't remind me of my loss.
I'm very, very uncomfortable with emotional stuff: crying just mortifies me.