Alone at Christmas.

I've spent a few Christmases alone. A couple of years ago I was fine until I sat down to the Christmas dinner I'd prepared for myself - I just burst into tears! Next time I'm on my own for Christmas it'll be a ribeye steak and chips! Try not to get too hung up about it. As someone said, the day passes quickly just like any other day.

Btw, Vanatic, I'd like to pinch your name! I'm a camper van fanatic!

A friend of mine volunteers in a church, on Xmas day, and thoroughly enjoys it.
Of course they would welcome you if you would prefer to be waited on.
You can google in to all the local churches and see what is on offer.
They are very kind, and even offer lifts,if you don't have a car.

The worst year I recall was the first year with my ex - we decided to be alone together, had a small duck and saw no-one. After that we always went to my parents'. Now we spend it at home and my MIL comes over every day for Xmas week - we pay for 1-way taxi, she pays the other. Suits us all!

Have you ever thought of offering your services to a charity who serve meals to the homeless.? They are always in need of help and none more so than at xmas.

Last year was the first Christmas I had ever spent on my own. Wasn't really looking forward to it but two of my friends who also live on their own and myself decided we would have Xmas dinner at a local inn. So pleased we did, The Harbour Inn at Axmouth did us proud and we are going again this year.
I admit opening presents on your own isn't so nice. Sometimes we have to make our own enjoyment.

The best way through is to accept it is a different Christmas to previous ones, spend the day doing what you want, if you want to stay in bed and cry do so. If you want to be with people find a charity who needs help, the day will pass .

I don't mean this harshly and so understand how you feel, and there is GN ?

I don’t post often on GN, tend to lurk more often than not but this thread resonates with me. Not alone as DS will be with me but very difficult for both of us as DH passed away on the 13th and the funeral will not be until the 27th. Christmas was always a big thing for DH who loved every tradition we had built up over our 40 years together. First night alone last night was so strange and I ended up going to bed at 8 pm as I couldn’t stand the silence downstairs.

It’s interesting how most people have assumed from the post that Vanatic doesn’t want to be on her own... BUt maybe she does! We have so much drummed into us by the media about how Christmas Day should be...and we all follow like sheep. I would do whatever you would like, given that your family aren’t around for that day-it’s just one day-if you’re religious no doubt church will be a big part but otherwise, it’ll pass like any other.

Vanatic,It might be quite positive that you will have some peace.Maybe look at some old photo's and relive the times gone by.My 36 alcoholic son will come for a few days.My sister,her 12 and 28yo sons will come for Christmas dinner.My husband hates my son and pretty much everything else and makes negative comments about everything.He switches lights off,the drier,the heating.He cannot bear to spend any money.We used to have great christmases when I bought and organised everything.Waves of fear flow over me all the time,anticipating the atmosphere.We are 69 and it is such a waste of our lives.

GrannyMary, and others who have been bereaved recently

Go on line to see if the Over 50 Meet Up Group is in your area. I noticed several ladies in your situation are meeting for a restaurant meal on Xmas Day together.
I think if it was me I would go away with one of the Singles holiday firms, Saga, Just You etc some trips are abroad, some in England.

I'm planning to paint my hall that day ! DD1 has a new boyfriend and I've been dumped and DD2 is angry at me for having spent so much money and time helping DD1 !
Painting my hall , with homemade soup on the hob and a chicken in the oven sounds good to me ! I'm rather looking forward to it !

Big hug to Teddy111. Come and paint my hall with me .

grannymary, I am so very sorry, there is not a positive thing I can think of to say , I send you hugs x

I think I'm going to be alone. A far cry from the Christmas I was looking forward to, in a country cottage with my daughter, grandchildren and dog. We were going to sit in the hot tub, stuffing our faces, and have a lovely time.

Thank you tiredoldwoman

Just come to this thread so may post more as I read more. Venus I am so sorry for your loss, Christmas will be very hard for you but I hope you will be able to remember the good times and smile just a little bit.

MawBroon Sorry, don't get on here to read all threads, is it recent that you lost Paw? So sorry that you will miss him but hope you can find joy in your family.

Vanatic I really feel for you. When you have happy memories of Christmas past it’s hard not to compare and want them again. There are lots of suggestions as to what you could do and Ibet when next year comes you will be able to offer advice to others... I too will be on here on Christmas Day for a chat....
Grannymary so sorry for your loss. I lost my father at Christmas when I was 15 years old. Bereavement is so hard any time. Sending you a big hug. Stay strong x

Annie I share your pain. Will be thinking of you.

I have done alone once and was fine ( apart from midnight service ) just stayed in xmas pjs , grazed and drank and watched box sets . Last 3 years had my man friend here , kids live 3/4 hours away and do huge family things, I get invited ( and have done it in past when families were smaller and no ex around) but prefer a bit of quiet and also they never include man friend in invite . Hope everyone has contented day however it's spent x

Hello Vanatic, , I was alone last Christmas Day and will be this Christmas too. I think the best way is to pretend its just another day although I went to Midnight Service on Christmas eve so slept late, then I went up to the allotment I share with my son in law and pottered about. Are you meeting up with family on another day? I shall be and that will be my Christmas day. The main thing is not to feel sorry for yourself but be positive.

Grannymary Like you I don't come on as often as many and post even less. I am so sad for you, the funeral hanging over your Christmas but I doubt it would be any better even if it was over. You will find a way through, somehow as people keep telling me it gets easier over time.

MissA I will share your pain.

Vanatic Having read through all the post I don't think there is much I can add. I am assuming that as you have posted this you would prefer not to be alone so can only suggest what others have said, see if there is a lunch for lonely people locally and join in, either as a helper or one of those being fed.

There is an assumption that everyone enjoys Christmas, I always have but this year it will be so painful I think we will just endure it for the sake of DS, DiL and DiL's mum. Have to get through tomorrow first, it would have been DS's birthday and he would have been here with us.

I had a friend who would buy a beautiful box of the best chocolates he could afford, find a good book he'd been meaning to read all year (or a box set might be equally good), prepare food the day before that he could just dip into and then spend the whole day rejoicing his good luck.

I hope you indulge yourself and find joy in all the things around you.