Grandchildren illness

This reminds me of anguished threads on Mumsnet - the hell of Hand , Foot and Mouth, the hysteria over unvaccinated visitors, the anger at chicken pox contacts.
Do remember that a hundred years ago parents and grandparents had to cope with smallpox, diphtheria, TB and a host of other diseases which actually killed their children.

Just had an awful night with our youngest GS 4 coughing, being sick, having a temperature. My DS, DH and I/me have just about coped. Also sorted other GS and got him to school in his Xmas Jumper.

Although we are worn out after 4 days of this we are happy we can help.

Their mother went Xmas shopping last night and stayed over with a friend. ?

That's great news ! Have a lovely bug free Christmas.

Family are on route now thankfully but no stopover so can't imagine how they'll be when they finally get here after 22 hours plus another internal flight - just keeping everything crossed none of them go down with the bug on the way!

So sorry Willow500 such a long flight too, it wouldn't have been much fun travelling with a stomach bug.My worst nightmare too.Hope they can rearrange, and you can be together.Good luck

No I don't think it's being unreasonable, especially as all they want is their mum, why should you feel bad about it, sadly a lot of todays AC want it all, but they need to realise it isn't always possible, the children should come first & so what if they have to cancel a holiday, taking care of a poorly child should be their priority, not yours ?( emergencies excluded)

Thank you - they were coming from NZ so been nearly a year in the planning. We're just hoping that they can find another lot of flights before the holidays.

Oh poor you, Willow 500, a similar thing happened to my family just before my birthday. It was so disappointing -but we did meet up eventually. Hoping for a happy outcome for you all.

Oh no ! So sorry Willow500 what a shame, were they coming to visit you for Christmas?

Well one of my worst nightmares has just happened. DIL has gone down with a stomach bug just before they were due to fly so they've had to take them off the flight. Devastated isn't the word - we've no idea when they will be able to rebook - they have travel insurance but all the flights will be fully booked. So sad

This thread was not about emetophobia but looking after poorly grandchildren who might or might not have a sickness bug
#mountainsoutofmolehills

Some very ignorant comments here in regard to phobias. Emetephobia can be a debilitating condition and stops some people from working, leaving the house or having any children. It really isn't a case of just thinking of others and getting on with it. If it were oh so simple, I think people would have already conquered it. The lack of empathy on here is staggering actually.

maw we know you had a difficult time looking after paw but I feel you should cut people some slack.
I'm a bit here - do you mean that Maw thinks that everyone should be prepared to look after sick DGC or that people should not be expected to if they have compromised immune systems?

As someone with a compromised immune system I am a bit wary but would not refuse to look after them - I leave it up to the DC to judge whether or not the DGC are too sick and one of them needs to arrange time off/work from home or whatever which they have done before now.

The problem is SussexGirl60 that many employers will not allow time off to look after a sick child and parents have a choice between using their valuable holiday time or having their pay docked -very difficult if you are just making ends meet. (of course they can always lie about why they are off)

(PS “slack cutting” works both ways)

Oo-er humpty dumpty I assume I am still allowed to express an opinion? (Which I could just as easily expressed 5 or more years ago. )

I’m assuming you’re meaning so that both parents can go to work and actually I think it’s fine not to want to do that. It doesn’t matter the reason why. In normal circumstances, if one parent can take time off work, then they don’t need you. And if they can’t do that, perhaps both of them working isn’t an option. It’s not the same as looking after your own children. Their children are their responsibility and I think they need to sort it out for themselves rather than rely on you. You’ve done your bit with your children in past years and now it’s their turn. Sorry if this sounds harsh. It’s just the way I feel.

I've never been asked to do this, as all our grandchildren live far away.
The nearest I've been is with our long-haired border collie, when she occasionally has diarrhoea - I have to trim off her pooey backend fur. I block off the smell by mouth breathing, and wear thin rubber gloves.
We seem to hear much more nowadays about people who have some form of OCD or germ phobia, and I wonder where it comes from?
Eldest son is a bit like that, he developed it when his Dad and I were having marriage problems. Eldest daughter's partner is another one, don't know the reason for his.

maw we know you had a difficult time looking after paw but I feel you should cut people some slack.

I now refuse to help if it involves D&V as I always get it really badly. It will be 24/48 hours for the GCs but nearly a week for me. Anything else and I'll happily help out.

Maw your mention of being vaccinated against childhood illnesses remended me that DS didn't have his and we had to deal with mumps and measles. I don't know how they deal with this now but GP would not give DS any of them because of his eczema which he had from being a baby.

This is so difficult and really must depend on your state of health and immune system. I know I would not want DH near a sick child as he has emphysema but he goes out and about every day, eats in restaurants socialises with friends so all the time he comes in contact with a wide of viruses. Being active and with people boosts his immune system.

The thought of not going to look after a child is difficult and really against my nature. I would be careful re hygiene but masks a step too far. Also I thought wearing a mask for long periods created a wet, warm area around your mouth and nose, a perfect breeding ground for infections.

I often think we blame an illness on someone when we caught it elsewhere especially if you calculate incubation periods you find it could not have been that contact.

I have to admit I'm wary of stomach bugs. DH with PD would struggle with this. When the GC arrive, I ask them to wash their hands first thing, to 'wash away the school bugs'. DDs wdn't ask us to look after them with this unless really necessary. If their parents had it and couldn't look after the children I would step in.

We seem to have moved on a bit from I am paranoid about catching the illness from them, especially sickness bugs and am not happy being exposed to full blown emetophobia (which is in the main a phobia about being sick not mopping up tinies)
But “paranoia” -really? Maybe OP needs help.
Simple hygiene precautions are usually quite enough with a poorly child, and if we are talking about other “childhood illnesses”like mumps, measles etc haven’t we mostly been immunised or faced them before?
OP certainly sounded as if she was talking about “poorly grandchildren” and I can understand , as can any working mum, that it does your career no good (sadly) to be forever getting time off for the minor illnesses children seem to suffer from. Yes dads should share the childcare, but perhaps it is just as hard for them with job insecurity these days.
All I know is that when DD3 had chickenpox aged 5 and I was a full time secondary teacher I had to call in a LOT of favours and fortunately was allowed 2 days off.
When the DGSs had chickenpox I was happy to be asked to go up and do a day or two just to help see them over it.
So it all depends on circumstances, but “refuse”? I don’t think so unless there are very extenuating circumstances.

I also think it's very condescending to say 'get over' a phobia - I've lived with that one all my life and will do anything to stop myself being sick let alone cope with a sick child. My husband knows this and does his best to shield me - I have another phobia which no one knows about and which has ruled my life for the last 50 years. I did seek psychiatric help years ago for that which was useless so just get on with it. Of course if my grandchildren are ill while they're here I will do my best to cope with it but would far rather avoid anyone who might have a bug. I am on medication for various things so don't know what effect an illness would have on me.