Gransnet forums

Chat

Sister in law

(12 Posts)
Teacheranne Thu 07-Dec-17 18:47:01

Try looking at an online group called Meetup. There are thousands of different groups all over the country. Some are quite specialist and quirky but I am a member of four in my local area, all with an interest in socialising and meals out.

MrsEggy Thu 07-Dec-17 17:10:35

AIBU
Our Siemens dishwasher has died on us. It was only 4 years old and the repairman told us the plastic base plate was warped - it couldn't be repaired. Apparently this is a quite common occurrence since the old stainless steel was replaced by (cheaper) plastic. Am I being unreasonable to expect a quite expensive machine should not have such a very basic design fault?

bettyboo22 Thu 07-Dec-17 11:48:03

Hi
Thank you for replys no it's not assuming she wants a man but more so someone to go out with as a friend rather than her going out with friends which she does but she is the one in her own sometimes she says oh life will never change or things like that I just thought you don't have to marry someone to go out as friends

M0nica Wed 06-Dec-17 15:23:33

Why is there this automatic assumption that a woman without a man, especially if previously in a happy partnership must be lonely without one.

I am happily married and the last thing I want is anything to happen to DH, but if I was left alone I would be entirely happy to live like that and would feel no need to replace him.

It reduces men to the level of a pet. ' I so miss little Fifi and the walks we went on. I think I'll go out and get myself another dog'

KatyK Wed 06-Dec-17 12:21:18

I'm with you paddyann but I do undeerstand that people get lonely. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't look for anyone else. However, I have a friend who lost her husband 10 years ago (he was only 58). She would really like to find someone else. It's not easy though. She is 69 but still slim and attractive but the trouble is she says she doesn't want an 'old man' !

paddyann Wed 06-Dec-17 11:53:49

maybe she doesn't WANT another man.I know if I lost my OH I wont go looking for someone else.I have always said he's irreplaceable.My mum GM and GGM were all widowed fairly young ..none of them ever had another man in their lives .Its not compulsory ,women can be happy on their own.

grannyactivist Wed 06-Dec-17 11:45:21

She obviously already has a good friend - you! Why not make a point of going out to the cinema together once a month or for a meal. Then you can broach the subject of her interests and perhaps suggest she joins some kind of social group. The answer to a woman's loneliness is not always a man. smile

sunseeker Wed 06-Dec-17 11:44:49

Around 6 months after my DH died I had people telling me I should "get out there" and find someone else. They just couldn't understand that I wasn't interested. I had a long and very happy marriage with my DH and was not, and still not, looking for someone to take his place. I would leave well alone, she probably is looking on her relationship with her ex through rose coloured glasses, if and when she wants to look for someone else she will do so in her own time.

bettyboo22 Wed 06-Dec-17 11:38:19

Ok maybe you have a point I was just trying to help her

Eglantine21 Tue 05-Dec-17 18:57:52

This actually happened to me after my husband died. The wife of one of his friends (I kid you not) signed me up to the dating bit of a national newspaper and presented me with my profile and the handful of replies.
I can't tell you how incensed I was that someone thought they could take charge of my life like that. It just emphasised that I was on my own. Nobody would have thought they had the right to interfere n my life when I was married!
It makes me quite hot under the collar just remembering it.
And they were all duff replies anyway....

Christinefrance Tue 05-Dec-17 18:00:29

I think that is a step too far, maybe look at other social groups your sister in law can join or classes which may interest her. The dating idea should come from her and at her own speed.

bettyboo22 Tue 05-Dec-17 14:30:54

Hi
My sister in law lost her partner about 4 years ago been together about 6 years I think before that she was married and it broke up he wanted to break up with her they have four children together plus grandchildren which she sees
I think she has a hankering for her first dh she talks non stop about him he's not interested she's now 68 years old . Thing is I think it's time she got dating again and meeting other men for friendship and to go out as she loves dining out I would like to get some information for her about dating agencies but how I don't think she will do it on her own I think she's quite lonely she lives on her own still works nearly full time but don't seem to meet anyone What do you think ? Thoughts please