Children and Christmas

This is completely off the Christmas topic, so apologies, but Luckygirl’s post about “a Wayne in a manger” reminded me of my little gd’s version of London’s Burning, which seemed to have the line “Porn on water”.

I remember being taken to see "Joseph" at the Theatre Royal by a favourite (RE) teacher of mine harrigran we later did it as our end of year show but I think I would have been about 14-15. We loved doing the Elvis bit !

Well you did warn her gilly.
I have been trying to recall DC's school nativities and I can not remember either being in one, all my memories are of GC and their school plays.
DC's school always did a musical play one of the teachers was very musical and produced Joseph and his amazing technicolour dreamcoat, very ambitious for ten year olds but it was brilliant.

I think I posted this last year but anyway....

When my son was in infant school he was very shy and I warned his teacher that because he hated being the centre of attention and being looked at, I strongly advised against giving him a part in the nativity. She insisted that he would be fine and that all her children had to take part.

He was cast as a shepherd, complete with tea towel and stuffed lamb. On the day of the nativity I again warned the teacher that it wasn't a good idea but she insisted he would be fine and "didn't he look so cute".

The parents all gathered in the hall and the scene was set. On walks 2 little shepherds followed by my son who took one look at the audience and launched the lamb into space shouting "you are all pigs and I hate you".

Well I did warn her.

It's my grandchildren's favourite story (about their daddy) for this time of year and I tell it over and over again.

My daughter told me that Mary and Josie had a baby.

Also that we needed a donation for 'Harvest vegetable'

Best thread ever. I love the trip down memory lane. Well in Franbern

Love all your stories - needed a good laugh!

Big thanks to everyone who has posted on this thread. Gave me a wonderful continuous laugh. Wonderful stories. Hope they can keep on coming.

My little niece was a donkey in our local church nativity. She galloped past every other child around the aisles ( even Mary and Joseph) When they got back to the altar ,her tail was at the front and she shouted "I'm a wonky donkey Now "!!church was in uproar.

What a lovely happy thread - really had me laughing and no-one spoiling it brilliant.

Friends daughter was a Cedar Tree in some sort of alternative nativity. Whole (smug) family was there. She threw up spectacularly the tuna sandwich she’d had for breakfast (?) all over the angels sitting underneath. When the narrator shortly after said something about ‘the sweet smell of the cedar tree’ the entire audience fell about laughing. Never be too smug...........

Allypoole we had a boy like that. The only way he would do any work was if he could see a hoover. So we kept one in the store cupboard with the door slightly open, so he could see it. Wonder what he is doing now?

During the Nursery concert in the school I taught in, one King, when seeing his mother in the audience shouted to her” Mam can I have the ‘ oover out when I get ‘ome?”
He had a fixation with vacuum cleaners!

We had a little boy who always sang 'Harry Hoover' for Hallelujah.
One of the funniest things that happened in a nativity was when I was a TA. A little boy did a massive wee on stage that cascaded onto the hall floor. Proceedings were stopped while I got the mop and bucket and cleaned it all up. When I finished I got a standing ovation.
The freshly clothed little boy returned and we carried on as normal ??

My ds was one of the few children able to read in his reception class nativity so his class teacher was keen that he be the narrator. DS refused point blank to have any part at all unless he could be a mince pie! His teacher, bless her, let him :-)

Diction isn't usually small children's strongest suit so during many years of producing Reception nativities I got used to our Lord being called ' the baby Cheeses' !!?

What hilarious posts! A great end to a hectic day

We've had 3 Virgin Marys. DD2 in the nursery class because she had the loudest voice. DD1 in the Juniors because she had a blue dress (one I'd knitted years ago!). Not sure how GD1 got the job in Reception class. Joseph was her 'boyfriend', they were planning their wedding in real life!

Away in a Manger was heard to be pronounced 'A-weighing a Major....' another alternative version.

Walking my daughter to school many years ago, we passed a new housing development. "Mummy", she said, "you know there is no room at the inn for baby Jesus? Well couldn't they live in one of those houses?

At Friday afternoon assembly, to which parents were invited, the teacher was talking about the Nativity story which had been read to them that day. She asked questions about the Angel giving the news to Mary and then asked, “Who can tell me what Mary did next?”, the answer being that she went to give the news to her cousin Elizabeth but an insistent hand had gone up and the reply from one of the older children was “Got herself a man miss”. I have been accused of making it up but I was there and it did happen.

My older daughter singing Away in a Manger sang ‘the kettle is boiling,the baby awakes!’

Arn,t kids just great! peaches there is nothing better than that little hand in yours and the smell of a new baby .this thread as made me feel very cheerful and nostalgic

Yes they were the best times of my life . With Gold, Frankenstein and Bert Hahahaha .

Years ago, my son's kindergarten class was asked to draw a picture of the Nativity. I recognized Mary, Joseph, the Baby Jesus and a camel that looked more like a horse! To the right was a row of three caped, very fancy looking wise men, all wearing crowns.

On the left corner, I couldn't help noticing a bearded fat fellow with a prominently large belly. "Is that Santa Claus?" I asked with amusement. "No!" he replied importantly, ..".Santa wasn't born yet, that's 'Round John Bergen'!"