Children and Christmas

Can’t read for laughing out loud

I feel sure I have told this one before. However.... When DS1 was a shepherd in the playgroup Nativity play, we were in the balcony of the church, with DS2, aged almost 3. When big brother made his appearance, clutching the obligatory lamb, DS2 stood up on his seat and, in ringing tones, he yelled, 'Shut your cake hole, H!' I haven't let him forget this for the last 40-odd years!

Leggs, what I'd give to have those days back again, do we ever forget the smell of their little newly washed heads and the feel of that whole little hand curled round our finger? I can still feel the weight of a small head on my shoulder and see the same head buried in the bowl of custard, when the youngest used to fall asleep at the table. Feel all gooey at Christmas, have a lovely one...

peaches50 I've got tears of laughter rolling down my face, DD was a Holly Tree in her Nativitynon speaking part.

We were on a bus and DS was full of the nativity play, when he turned and asked why the Virgin Mary was wearing such a big dress. I said because she had Baby Jesus under it. Cue thoughtful silence, quick scan of passengers then very grown up pointed at the woman across the aisle and said in the loudest knowledgeable voice ' bet you could get LOADS of babies under that' I still feel the blush rising as gasps of horror all round and red face of the Nun while I tried to stutter an explanation.

I remember going to my GS nativity play some years back when he was one of the Three Kings.
My GS declared in a loud voice "I bring you Gold..." to be followed by the next King who shouted in an even louder voice "I bring you Wank-incense"
Cue...much stifled laughter and tittering from the assembled parents/grandparents all trying to keep a straight face.

my 3 year old cant wait to open her lavender calendar!

I was an angel, publicity in local press, I fell off the bench at the back, never to be seen, end of drama career!

Pollyperkins.
I did laugh at your post so funny ??
And yours sluttygran ?

Apparently in 195 something I was an angel and my cousin was in the audience so I peeked through my halo calling “PeekaBoo Tommy”. Apparently the house collapsed in laughter.

My daughter was one of the wise men and announced in a loud,clear voice... 'i bring Frankenstein'. She really,really did!

My daughter was Mary in the Nativity play and had to take her own dolly to be Jesus. Jesus was a bit too big for the crib so she stood up a pushed baby down quite hard with both hands to squeeze him into the crib. Much muffled laughter from the audience.

I may have posted this last year - I overheard one of my little DDs singing Away in a manger, and on careful listening heard: "A Wayne in a manger, be grateful in bed!"

Kids were called up on stage at the Christmas Panto. Because my sister was only three, she was asked a nursery rhyme question - "What did Mary have?" Her reply - "Jesus"

One year my elder daughter was one of the company of Angels, they stood on a bench at the back of the stage, time for them to get off the bench and leave the stage, one little angel was waving to her parents and missed her cue, my little angel gave her a push which resulted in several little angels falling off the bench

I was putting up a little nativity scene with a class of eleven year olds whom I taught RI. The angel was carrying a banner with "Gloria in excelsis deo" on it. One boy, actually the only Muslim in the class, who was happily helping with the project, asked me, "excuse me, is the angel in the Christian tradition who brings good news called Gloria?

Since them any angel in our own nativity scene at home is called the angel Gloria.

I explained to the whole class that Gloria in excelsis deo is Latin for Glory to God in the Highest and is part of what the angel said to the shepherds, and that no, the angel bringing good news in the Christian tradition is the same one as the one who spoke to Muhammed. We just call the angel Gabriel instead of Jibril.

My grandmother's uncle, who was a linguist maintained he had on one occasion heard a small child start his prayers with "Our Father which art in Heaven, Harold be thy Name"

I hasten to assure you that we have never followed that particular child's example.

But I do remember the naughty version we sang of the chorus to the carol "The Angel Gabriel by God was sent"
it should be "Most highly favoured Lady, O Gloria" we however, when we were old enough to know better, deliberately sang "Most highly flavoured gravy - ah bristo!" or was it bisto - anyone remember the add?

Just choked on my apple sluttygran, still can't stop laughing.

Nearly forty years ago, DS played the inkeeper. When asked if there was room at the inn, he replied “No, but you’re welcome to come in for a drink!”
The headmistress was not amused - things were a bit starchier in those days, I suppose - and remarked that it just showed what kind of home he came from!

My DGS told us he can be in a nativity play next year, when he’s big and goes to the Brontosaurus school like his sister (we think he’s going to a Montessori one).

Isn’t lovely when they come home with these lovely tales. So glad they are still doing nativity plays my two children were angels. My gd was Mary they chose her because she had just started at the school coming from another school and hadn’t had time to learn the lines. But she sung her heart out.

DD was The Gabled Angel at playschool

This reminds me of a little story I heard - I don't know the outcome. One little boy was so miffed as not being given the part of Joseph, he was cast as the Innkeeper. When Joseph and Mary turned up and asked if there were any rooms, he replied, "Yes!"

Trying the Premier Inn down the road has made me laugh so much. How the story would have changed if they had taken his advice!!

As a child I fervently sang "We three kings are vory and tar"
I still think its a good description for the clever and bold!

One of the funniest things I saw in a school nativity was when they wer singing a song called 'Follow the star' and children holding large letters were supposed to go on stage to spell STAR. Unfortunately they led in the wrong way round to spell RATS! Follow the rats to Bethlehem !!!