Whom is whom?

I didn't ask for a CV nor did expect a list of your illustrious deeds.
I reiterate - it's sad when an elderly man is so in need of attention that he resorts to this pathetic attempt at humour.
Not subtle, not clever, not witty double-entendre - just crass and, as I hope you've now gathered, not remotely appreciated by your 'audience'.

I’m sure many people have done good deeds and helped others. I see no need to broadcast how wonderful you are and it doesn’t excuse your lack of judgement in this case.

Good advice elegran
Brian, learn to leave well alone, make a tactical withdrawal, accept you made an error of judgement.
Sorry to seem harsh, but you must see that the overwhelming feeling is one of distaste

And your point is? Doing all that doesn't stop you posting unfunny laddish salacious non-humour, though your writing experience should have made it shorter and less tedious. Stop digging Brian, you are just getting deeper into that hole.

Now, mcem, about my feeble attempt. I used to write little stories about 60 years ago. then I went into 'showbiz'. I worked with many top stars icluding a couple of film stars. I also did more writing. I used to teach dancing and did some choreography. One piece of my choreography is still very popular the world over. It is not danced fully but the main part is and will still be danced for years to come. I am talking about Y M C A. It was actually performed by Alistair Deacon and a load of oldies in the 'As Time Goes By programme.on TV. last week. Want to hear more? Well, about 50 years ago I made a citizens arrest. It was a guy the police had been trying to catch for more than 12 months. He was approaching young kids with very inappropriate suggestions. The police were so relieved to have this guy where he belonged. One night, two detectives came to my door and wanted to take me out for a drink in celebration . I didn't go, I don't drink. They thanked me profusely for catching the man they had spent 12 months trying to track down. I often wonder if there any people walking about today who otherwise may have met some terrible end had I not caught this man. Let me think, have I missed anything out? Oh yes, I once saved a man from drowning. We care for elderly rescue ogs who otherwise would spend the rest of their days in kennels. I think my favourite thing I did was make a cameo appearance in Last of the Summer Wine..
There you have it mcem, that's my CV.

Very well put Elegran

The loo-paper post (which I don't remember) was presumably started as a serious complaint about flimsy paper. If you found it tasteless, you should have reported it to HQ, who would have adjudicated.

Your post from "Bertha" was meant to be funny.
It wasn't - it was too long and heavy-handed for one thing, and it read like a couple of schoolboys trying to shock their granny. The grans on here are pretty broadminded and have dealt with smutty schoolboys for years. However they don't like receiving the verbal equivalent of a flasher enjoying his show more than those watching. The posts in the ArgyBargy cafe are often rude but short (and contained in that thread). Other naughty posts on other threads hint at double meanings , and are witty. The clue is, if you can't be brief and subtle, be silent.

I think annsixty was far from being the only person who found your “anecdote” both tasteless and unfunny in fact if you read the reactions nobody expressed appreciation and elegran made a very good point about crude posts by men and the potential wriggling out of it by “pretending” it originates elsewhere.
No bumblebee/Brian let’s face it, you have misjudged the situation. Humour can be a very personal thing but most people will try to evidence a polite smile where there is an attempt to amuse or entertain.
Failed on both points. The less said about this the better, but don’t try to shift the blame on to your audience.

I probably did Brian but as I can't recall it perhaps you can tell me if I posted any comment.
It doesn't make your post any more tasteful. Sorry I have offended you just expressing my feeling.

OK, enough is enough. First of all let me apologise to all the ladies that my work may have upset. Annsixty you think it was rather tasteless. May I draw your attention to the first posting I saw when I joined Gransnet. A lady was complainig about the strength of toilet rolls and how much of a wipe she had to inulge in to, ... well, I'll leave the rest for you to picture. The posting was followed up by members of gransnet discussing the outcome, if that is the appropriate word, of loo paper that did not meet the required standards. My eyes popped at the outpourings of the subsequent postings but I did not cast any judgement on the matter. Would you find that tasteless annsixty?
Brian.

Wincarnis! Not heard of that for donkey's years!

I am sorry Brian, I don’t find any of this entertaining or funny. It is in poor taste and I am NOT a prude, but I find it all quite unnecessary.
The point of your original post simply escaped me and I don’t know what sort of conversation you were hoping to set up.
But if I may, I would suggest you lay off the Wincarnis or Sanatogen in future.

I agree. Why would anyone think this is amusing?

Rather tasteless and totally unnecessary.
Aunt Bertha can definitely stay on the other side of the pond.

Elegran

Due no doubt to their shared genetic profile, all these Bs have an identical prose style

A swarm of 'B's?

It is quite simple. Jalima. Bumblebee123 (hereinafter referred to as B) and Mrs B (Honeybee) used to post alternately from neighbouring computers (or maybe B had two computers and posted as B from one and Mrs B from the other, but of course that is against the rules and B is surely too law-abiding to do that) but we haven't heard from Mrs B for quite a while. B posted on Friday afternoon but was interrupted by a phone call from his forthright and alliterative Auntie Bertha from Baltimore (Auntie B) which he relayed to us. After a few replies from other posters, Auntie B sent us a detailed account of an embarrassing experience, though her embarrassment seems to have been minor and shortlived.

I had a glass of red just to see if I could understand it all a bit better but have given in now.

I really can't drink any more this evening in an attempt to understand.

Sorry? Don't understand what all this is about? Once again feeling a dumb blonde! Bumblebee, my apologies...

Sad when elderly gentlemen take centre stage in a feeble attempt to be highly entertaining with salacious, nudge-nudge humour!
Patronising and laddish posts tend not to be greeted with wild enthusiasm by intelligent women.

I always enjoyed Jackanory.

Just had a very dry sherry but I am still

I think Brian must have been on the watching the sports channel yesterday afternoon (no emoticon for a pint).

but then I haven't had any yet today