The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Isn't Barry the one with the bum cleavage and the ginger toupee? Drinks Vimto and Malibu cocktails?

Big Jim has been in the Argy since the very beginning. How very dare you ask who he is.
However, I haven't a clue who Barry is!

Not entirely sure BB but am hoping to find out.

Big Jim, Barry.? Who are they? Bouncers perhaps?

Not sure about the rum. If you don't have any Brasso, gin will be fine.

And as for chasing Big Jim or Barry round the bar, there's not much chance of that since my camel race induced prolapse.

I only did it to prove to my sister that Tena Lady really does let me carry on as normal.

Yes, that should be allowed I think DameJudy perhaps with a chaser of rum.

I could dilute the Maison d'ettol with a squirt of Femfresh lemongrove

Now, who’s up for a cup of weak tea?

Oh, and no more slurping Febreze or Dettol.

Hi everyone, popped in to pin up some new rules and regulations. We must not chase Big Jim or Barry around the bar, no lewd remarks to the (fit) male customers and wear sensible shoes and clothing at all times.Wigs must not be long ( get caught in machinery) or exceed 30 cms in diameter, nails must be short, clean and unpainted ( or you could have someones eye out) no tight tops, bikinis, mini skirts or high heels ( flat shoes only) and no false eyelashes ( a health hazard if lost in the peanut bowl and inadvertently swallowed.)

Anyone around this evening? I've got a cheeky bottle of Maison d'ettol that needs drinking.

Certainly. Happy to oblige

That would be lovely and if you want to make a few coasters for the tables perhaps?

No she didn't. but I do a lot of knitting and can knock you up a few if you wish. Any special colours? I have some tangerine and neon pink wool left over from a bikini I knitted for myself. Would that do. ?

Maastricht? Doesn't Andre Rieu come from there? We could ask him to bring his little band for the grand opening.
BBbevan, by any chance did your granny leave you any of those crinoline lady toilet roll covers? They would add a touch of class to the outside lavs.
That nice Lara donated a bottle of Fabreze and hopefully that would remove any lingering smells on the crinoline ladies. That is unless it got mixed into the cocktails in error.
That would explain why all the new members are off colour, they won't have build up an immunity to the hooch yet.

It could be a Maastricht treaty!

Might help to revive TeeTime....

I have a spare bottle of La Vie de Maastricht. Tastes awful. Can I donate it in exchange for membership of this exclusive dive?

|Are you sure it's the police? It's not that person who was wearing the sexy policewoman outfit, the one with the short skirt and suspenders and the yellow fluorescent top, is it?

Tee time. TEETIME! You are snoring and the police have come in response to a complaint about the noise. Come on dear, drink this down I am sure it will help.

What a night!
Feeling a bit delicate just now though, just out of bed and into a shower methinks.
Thanks for being in early you lot, am sure the bar needs a good clean up ( but leave Teetime where she is, to sober up.)

Carry on bb all help appreciated and glad you enjoyed the evening, you may well come across some comatose bodies, just mop round them! Those cloths sound almost too classy for the Argy but being a new bar perhaps we should bring a bit of style, if not Marydoll will possibly make a dress out of them

Crochet edging ?

Done worry Meno as you can see I'm up early so will give the cafe a seeing to if that is alright?. Also my granny left me heaps of tray clothes with a crowd het edging and an embroidered lady in a Crinoline in the middle. Shall I scatter them about? It would stop things getting sticky.
Thanks for the lovely evening.