Feeling a bit unsettled

Why change your lifestyle because of this person. I am afraid I would have to have a quiet but firm word with him in the nicest possible way....or it won't stop... I'd rather have the short term wrath than the lifelong not being able to live normally because of him.

I've stuck with my nets through thick & thin! For privacy & security reasons they're great and if you go online there's a good selection of prices & designs. Even once scaffolding is down if you're overlooked by windows you'll still feel better for screening. I think those comments are intrusive & creepy, so would agree with others who say find some tactful but absolutely clear way of making them known to the wife. If she avoids contact with you in future that's probably a good thing. He needs to be warned off.

Definitely let it drop to the wife - he'll be in trouble no doubt and quite right too.

Isn’t the problem about sexual harassment down to the fact that women don’t report it, for whatever reason. Given the recent publicity both in Holywood and now our own Parliament there is, at last, a culture of speaking out.

You need to tell someone about this. Who you tell depends on your support network, but this simply isn’t on.

You should mention it to his wife and I agree with Gmelon - get another neighbour to look after the house. If he spies like this and it is verging on harassment as it makes you feel uncomfortable - then he could be looking through your things when you are away - personal papers etc I mean. He would probably pass it off as "looking out for you" but it is invasive and personal to make comments like that.

Oh!

A neighbour behind us has just put up scaffolding (well, a workman has presumably put it up).

That is not on Oldwoman, it is an intrusion of your privacy and quite disturbing.

Apart from the intrusion, he is breaking lots of H & S rules be even being on the scaffolding if he is not the contractor using it. Why not have a word with the workmen next time they are there, tell them their customer is on the scaffolding in their absence, that should get it stopped. Rather creepy too.

Thanks for the replies. I have spent a couple of hours moving furniture so I have an armchair in the corner of the room - if I don't fully open the curtain on one side I am "hidden". I have no idea how long the scaffolding will remain. Next time I see his wife I may make a joke about the comments.

That would give me the creeps too.
How much longer is the scaffolding there for, if it's been a couple of months I would hope not too much longer.
I would make some remark about being a peeping Tom! And yes mention to his wife if you get the chance, make a jokey remark and leave the rest to her.

This is the reason I have nets at my windows, we have a footpath going past our front windows - about 10 foot away. My neighbour doesn't and you can see right into her living room. We have large windows and you can the whole room.

I would certainly invest in some floral patterned net curtains,that way you will still have plenty of light but he will not be able to see through the pattern of the net,that will cure him.

To add to my above post. Find another neighbour to keep an eye on your house when on holiday.

Make sure you bump into his wife to tell her (jokingly of course) that hubby seems to admire your dressing gown. He'll not be commenting again once she has her say to him.
Keep your curtains shut .
If he comments on that then you do not have to make any reply. Just change the subject.
It is not essential to keep an eye on each others houses or even talk to him.
If you still want the convivial atmosphere then stay polite and friendly but refuse to discuss your shut curtains.
Or if it is too dark with shut curtains then nets are the answer.
He'll get the message.
I would also try using your bedroom as a sitting room for now. Maybe move the telly up there or watch stuff on your laptop or computer.

I have vertical blinds which can be adjusted to let in the light but not the nosy gaze of passers-by.

I don’t like nets much but after I was burgled my daughter pointed out that the situation of my house, only a very small front garden, anyone can see straight in it from the public path So that’s what I did I do drape them open on sunny days but otherwise hopefully the passers by can’t see in
That’s what I d do it’s very unacceptable for someone to be commenting like that and sounds as if he doesn’t have many social skills or boundaries

I d personally keep my distance over the garden wall too

As a temporary measure and to save having to confront him, could you put up net curtains? I know you shouldn't have to do so, but once the scaffolding has gone the 'issue' should be resolved. I can understand how unsettled you must be feeling.

It sounds as though he's bored/lonely. If it were anything more sinister I think he'd keep quiet and not let you know that he'd been watching.

That must be most unsettling for you. Could you put up net curtains for the period of the scaffolding being there - or is there no work going on - just scaffolding?

Having said that, we and our nearest neighboughs are going to work out a system for keeping an eye on each other since the house opposite was subject to an attempted distraction burglary and we have become aware that we are not nosy enough!