I was speechless!

Hello all, every good wish to you.

Well, as some of you might imagine, it's not often that I'm lost for words, or to use the vernacular, gobsmacked

But it happened today. The chap we got in to quote for some decorating (hall, stairs and landing) noticed that one of the end spindles on the banisters upstairs was a bit loose.

He said "I would get your husband to fix that, because, not being funny, at your age if you took a tumble down the stairs, it could finish you off."

I'm 59, for heaven's sake, still holding down a responsible job, submit the company VAT return, all my own teeth, drive a fairly sporty car, can usually remember which day of the week it is, (do we put the bins out today, dear?) can complete crosswords, am in reasonable control of my bodily functions (ok, might have to cross legs when coughing or sneezing)

I was almost incandescent (lovely word) with rage, and very tempted to say, "In your opinion I may be old, but at least I don't smell" (he has terrible B.O) but held back, just in case my anger induced coughing fit might have caused a slight (ahem) "bladder incident"