When is a good time to die?

My deepest regret is that my parents died when my sister and I, and them, were relatively young. To read these stories of parents reaching their 80s, 90s or even 100s fills me with awe and envy. Hang on to every moment. (No wonder I have already started my Swedish death clean!). Oops, sorry, thread about a thread.

Before I need personal care and/or am deemed to be a burden on my family - or anyone else. Preferably after Mr C at home, in my sleep.

I am not sure there is one.

Morbid topic but a part of life none of us can avoid!

I would like to die after my DS and his family as I hate to think of them being sad about my 'shuffling off this mortal coil' I also don't want to be a burden to them as they have enough to cope with in their own lives

In my sleep with a smile on my face knowing I did my absolute best during my life

Thank you, "Phoenix" There are so many of us with aged parents who have little quality of life but a society that values existence above anything. There are caring children who will destroy themselves looking after a parent with dementia. DD has already said she will take me to Dignitas if I get anything like her DG and I entirely agree!

When it's your time to go. Whenever that may be.

I too want to go before needing 'personal care', and preferably when I'm still compos mentis. Quickly, without pain please.

When I decide that the time is right. I intend to take myself off to a very posh hotel, put up the DND sign and have a very expensive & large bottle of cognac & a large assortment of drugs.
I would make sure to protect the bed so any nasty fluids did not ruin it.
Imagine the fun I could have haunting a hotel room!

When living has nothing left to offer, I suppose.

Actually at 77 I occasionally have a flickering feeling that I'm not as immortal as I've always thought i was.......

My Dad always said "shoot me if I get like that' pointing at a decrepit relative or friend.
He did and we didn't - during his last week he met many old friends who were gathering for a family wedding. His pain was being controlled and he enjoyed it all. Worth hanging on.

I'd rather go before life became unbearable. BIL always said that he'd hate to start drawing his pension and also have an elderly parent to worry about. Sadly he had to help his wife (my sister) with my elderly father for a couple of years before he retired. Dad was an awkward old bugger at the best of times.
I'm 62 and in fairly good health. MIL is in a nursing home at 93. She needs help with washing, dressing and toileting. Her hearing and sight are bad. Sometimes she says that the last two years have been the worst of her life. She's always been moody and it's the drugs which calm her. When I visit she's often slumped in a chair dozing. There is entertainment which she enjoys - but as soon as they've left she's forgotten all about it. Sadly, she's compos mentis enough to realise that life isn't as she'd wish but not good enough to cope independently. She enjoys her food but that's not enough, is it? I would hate to get like this.
She has been a burden and a worry to her family. No-one in their right mind would want to get like that.
Sorry, that was morbid, wasn't it? Maybe euthanasia will eventually be made legal and we can avoid that fate.

Many people come to know when, for them, the time is right. Unfortunately the current law does not allow for anyone to assist and suicide is a blot on one's existence. Dignity in Dying is fighting for those with incurable illness to have the right to decide but even when they succeed (eventually) that leaves the rest who have no illness without any means. I doubt we will follow all those other places that do allow assisted dying any time soon.

My poor mum had to live long after she wanted to. And my sister and I felt exactly the same. She had dementia, doubly incontinent, in her own words was “ all mixed up” all the time , and had to go into a home. She lived for 25 years after a quadruple heart by pass, but was never the same mentally. It’s not your physical age that matters, I feel, but it’s when your Life no longer has any quality.

I want to go at the age of 104, naked, happy, in bed, wth a gorgeous, virile, but exhausted young man beside me?

"with" not "wth"!

juggernaut!

My DM is almost 89 & has already planned her 90th Birthday. Her biggest fear is Dementia but she is just forgetful no signs of anything else. She has a reasonable social life & is quite sharp mentally. She can't walk far & gets tired, she only gave up driving just over a year ago as her eyesight was no longer good enough. There is no talk of wanting to die

My DF had a fatal heart attack at 49 but we had known for about 5 years that his heart would give up so it was not unexpected.

My DH was diagnosed with terminal cancer at 71, given about 8 months to live, he gave up & died 2 months after diagnosis.

My DM is a Great Granny, don't think I will live long enough as my DGSs are 7 years & 5 months old, I'm 62 but I might be lucky. As long as I am mentally aware, have my sight (I love to read) & some mobility I don't mind a long life.

As my DM has always said "she doesn't know which is worse, to lose your parents when you are young or to have them there until you are quite old"

Having lost my DF when I was 22 & still got DM at 62 I will find out

Before my children want me to?

I so agree Witzend, you have just described my Mum who is 95.
And Phoenix, that sounds like a good evening! My Nan did something similar, coming home from an evening with friends, sitting in her chair and peacefully passing away.

Wouldn't want to go on without DH, so as someone said further up the thread, the same time as him would be fine.

On a (sort of) lighter note, it would have to be after Stephen King has died because I hate the thought that he would write books I wouldn't be able to read.

I don't think about death or dying, I am thankful to get through each day. I suppose I don't want to get to a really great age and suffer and cannot do any thing.
Sees or seize the day isn't it.

Juggernaut's idea sounds like fun to me

Worst thing for me would be develop dementia, as I think we all feel, particularly because I have no DP and only one DC, who would have to carry the whole brunt.

However, I think it is easy to forget that not everyone gets dementia, in fact according to www.dementiastatistics.org/statistics/prevalence-by-age-in-the-uk/, 1 in 6 people over 80 have dementia, so actually a minority, so am keeping everything crossed that I'm one of the other 5...