Anniebach you must be totally exhausted with your non sleep pattern at present. Would you consider short term trying sleeping tablets ?
My DS who is going through a difficult time takes half a tablet or a whole one if he is desperately tired and then other days no tablets at all. He does not want to become dependent. It is getting him through.
I hope you are getting support from friends through this very sad time in your life.
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Hope everyone has a better night -including me!