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Noah had fewer problems than me.

(45 Posts)
lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 09-Oct-17 10:40:14

Oh dear Vampire, this is the sort of thing that would happen to me if only I was strong enough to move the damn machine in the first place as the pump and/or filter aren't accessible otherwise. My sympathies.
I think you should put your feet up with a glass of the strong stuff.

ValC Mon 09-Oct-17 10:29:26

Love your sense of humour vampire queen.
Same thing happened to my Son the other week. He knew something would be blocked in the filter but didn't know how to unblock it without flooding the utility room so he called the experts. As him and his wife would be out at work I was asked to go and let him in.
I explained the problem with the engineer and he said no problem, give me the biggest pan you have. He then pulled the washer away from the wall, tilted it back against the wall and put the pan underneath and sure enough it collected the water in 2 passes.
Don't think you could do this if the washer is under a worktop though, he said you could but I can't see it.
Such a simple solution makes you wonder why you never thought of it yourself. Anyway, now Son and DIL know what to do won't be a problem in future.

grannyactivist Mon 09-Oct-17 10:25:00

Brilliant VQ - really made me laugh out loud. Thank you for allowing your disaster to brighten my day. smile

damewithaname Mon 09-Oct-17 10:20:07

That was rather entertaining to read grin

Christinefrance Mon 09-Oct-17 08:50:27

I can believe that VQ hope your day gets better and the sun shines on your washing line

vampirequeen Mon 09-Oct-17 08:39:39

DH is now looking for the appropriate tool to remove the pump cover because it's completely jammed.

Silverlining...I've been told that a washing machine holds two gallons of water until it starts to flood out. Then a water creating gadget switches on which is capable of producing two gallons a minute until it is certain that the kitchen is well and truly flooded.

silverlining48 Sun 08-Oct-17 20:48:31

If it helps you are not the only one vq, my washing machine also flooded the kitchen floor yesterday. What a mess! I feel your pain.

Chewbacca Sun 08-Oct-17 16:29:19

Sorry for laughing in the face of your adversity VQ but you describe the scene so well, it's easy to picture the commotion in you kitchen! Hope you soon get sorted and thanks for brightening my day!

Marydoll Sun 08-Oct-17 16:24:18

VQ, I can empathise with you.
However, your funny description has made me laugh, as I was in a similar situation. The end result was that as I ended up in A&E with a black eye and a suspected fractured cheekbone.
As I was crawling about on the floor, trying to mop up the flood, my ham fisted husband decided to try and help, but accidentally hit me on the face with a squeedgy mop. The doctor in A&E thought my husband had attacked me and it took some effort to convince him that it was actually an accident.
To make it worse, I had to go on a course the following day, funded by the Italian Government. My SIL was also on the course. The Italian Consul was trying so hard not to stare at my very noticeable shiner. I told him my SIL's BIL did it, omitting to say that SIL's BIL was also my husband.

Imperfect27 Sun 08-Oct-17 16:22:18

Vq we obviously attended the same school of washing -machine home-repair! Very entertaining - and I do hope DH will be able to pick his way across the lakebed and restore some sort of reliability to the offending article. I guess you can say the floor is nice and clean! grin

Christinefrance Sun 08-Oct-17 16:16:53

I'm impressed too VQ firstly at finding the manual then seeing the funny side of disaster. Not quite sure if its hysteria setting in though. Now you just need a washing machine to wash all those towels - good luck. ?

cornergran Sun 08-Oct-17 16:09:42

Love your humour in the face of adversity. grin I'm impressed you could find the instruction book, no chance here. hmm.

Alima Sun 08-Oct-17 15:46:47

Oh dear, good job you can laugh about it. Have the animals been coming in two by 2 yet? Now that would take some explaining.

Greyduster Sun 08-Oct-17 15:40:38

Eleventy billion gallons sure is a lot of watter, vq!! grin. You should have called the lifeboat out!

Kateykrunch Sun 08-Oct-17 15:40:23

Blinking heck, how much is it for a hour in a pedalo?

tessagee Sun 08-Oct-17 15:36:46

What a great post. I'm full of admiration for your eloquence in the face of disaster. Good luck with the pump repair etc.

ninathenana Sun 08-Oct-17 15:32:53

vq oh dear what a disaster.

Having been sympathetic can I now gringrin at your post.

TriciaF Sun 08-Oct-17 15:32:09

grin oh dear VQ!
Reminds me of the time I was in an important (?) meeting at work and the office put a call through for me from home to say that the washing machine had flooded and there were soapy suds all over the kitchen floor. I left the meeting and rushed home, but can't remember if/how I sorted it out.

grannysue05 Sun 08-Oct-17 15:00:12

Oh Vq ....sorry, but you did make me laugh!
Your fabulous sense of humour will more than make up for the tidal disaster.
Hope you have stopped seething at the poor machine, and that DH will "sort it" ... well they always do don't they?
Good Luck.

vampirequeen Sun 08-Oct-17 14:49:51

Yesterday my washing machine stopped half way through a cycle and point blank refused to do anything else. I tried all the known techniques to make the washing machine work in this situation. I switched it on and off several times. Nothing happened. I rocked it back and forth several times. Nothing happened. I used a variety of choice words to it. Nothing happened. I told it how it would be stripped down by the rag and bone man. Nothing happened. I hit it. Nothing happened. I left it switched off for 24 hours. Nothing happened.
This washer is one tough cookie!!!
I finally got the washer handbook out of the drawer and looked up the problem. The book said it was likely that the pump was blocked and gave instructions including diagrams to show how to clear it. I looked at the pictures and thought, “I can do that.”
The instructions said that I had to pull out the emptying hose. Where was the emptying hose? The pictures suggested that it was big. It wasn’t. It was so small that I mistook the end of it for some type of fastening. But having now found this emptying pipe I was confident I could use it. However the stopper of the pipe was stuck. Well I’ve been using the machine for over 11 years and I wasn’t the first tenant. To my knowledge it had never been opened.
I looked again at the instructions. They said that I would need a container to collect the ‘small amount of water’ that might leak out. The picture showed something the size of a cereal bowl. “Well,” I thought, “it can’t leak that much water if they only use a small container.”
Oh how wrong I was.
I decided to unscrew the pump cap. I couldn’t get the cereal bowl under it but, as I was only expecting a small trickle of water, I put a tea towel below it to catch the drips. Nervously I gave the pump cap a gentle turn and as I expected a tiny trickle of water appeared. This trickle soon stopped as the book said it would. Confident that all the water was gone I gave the pump cap another sharp turn and… well I can only imagine it was like the scene when the land bridge between Africa and Europe broke allowing the Mediterranean Sea to form. Eleventy billion gallons of water poured from the washing machine onto the kitchen floor. By now I had turned into a very wet crazy woman rushing around throwing towels onto the floor in the vain hope that the newly formed Kitchen Sea would be soaked up. Needless to say it wasn’t. In fact it was so deep it was trying to be tidal rising and falling at opposite ends of the kitchen.
I knew I had to get rid of the water….but how? What about the Karcher window cleaner? It sparked out at the first attempt. By now the Kitchen Sea was forming into a primeaval soup so I knew I had to do something quickly before the spark from the Karcher caused life to develop. Then I remembered the carpet cleaner. It would suck up the water. Eleven full tanks later the Kitchen Sea was reduced to a drying lakebed and finally I could get to the washing and hang it and every towel and tea towel that I have on the washing line to drip. I’d like to say dry but I’m not holding my breath.
That done I went back to the instructions which said I should remove the pump cap completely and take out any blockages. It promised (well not promised but it said) that the machine would then work. I thought about how smug I would be when I told DH that I’d managed to mend the washing machine…I wouldn’t mention the eleventy billion gallons of water or the Kitchen Sea of course.
So why aren’t I wearing a chufty? The pump cap won’t come off. I’ve tried all the known techniques (see list in first paragraph) but none work. So I’ll have to wait for DH to come home and sort it out for me.