Why my husband mustn't leave me!

I do EVERYTHING in the house and garden. Over at my daughter's place Wednesday looking after two throwing -up kids while she was working, he phoned me to tell me that he was mowing the front lawn ( usually my job)... how difficult it was as still a bit damp and how long it was taking him. I said nothing....he wanted applause!! I told him that HE should've walked the 4 miles to our daughter's at 6.30 am ... and HE should be clearing up the copious amounts of vomit ... and all this with no telly to distract the darlings as it was broken!! He said " surely it's not a competition of who was having the worst day" ..... I was raging and said "Try the worst life"... he put the phone down!! Good decision.

Wow, some of you ladies are so lucky! DH used to do some things like putting out the bins, the weeding and grass cutting and some shopping, but not very good at DIY. Now that he's not able I do everything, and that has included, in the past eighteen months, selling a house, organising a rental property( much more complex than I thought ), and buying a house, changing wills, and setting up powers of attorney. It has been a massive learning curve, and, all the while, his physical and mental health were deteriorating. I'm putting a different spin on this - I'm convincing myself that this has all been very good for me, despite the stress, which was overwhelming at times. I'll be 'in charge' of everything from now on, so hoping that the mental and physical exercise will help keep me as fit as possible for as long as possible. Wishful thinking?

We had a very old dark cupboard in an old flat we lived in. I kept my carpet sweeper in there. I picked up out of the cupboard and as it was upside down a mouse sprang out and landed on my shoulder, I screamed like a looney, my h came and took it off and put it in the garden.
My h is pretty good at coming to the rescue

DH cleans the bathroom because I find it difficult wriggling into the corners; the gardening is almost exclusively his job; he decorates (although I'm a better wallpaper hanger); if it's fixable, he can fix it; he's my vanquisher of venomous beasties; he's got really long arms and broad shoulders so gives amazing cuddles; he's a great dad and a fantastic grandad; he'll drive hundreds of miles with no prior notice if necessary; he always washes the dishes; he can cook well enough for us to survive for a week or two; he spoils me rotten; he's got a great sense of humour, and the patience of a Saint!
I knew within ten minutes of meeting him that he was 'the one', and I made a pretty good choice, even if I say so myself!
Oh, and just in case anyone missing a sense of humour reads this, I love him to bits too!!!!!

DH does all the carpentry and joinery needed and enjoys it! Puts up anything needing screws or nails. Cleans gutters, down pipes and blocked drains. Bleeds radiators. Forces insurance co. to honour claims when and as required. Understands large sums of money, mortgage etc whilst I deal with the ordinary household accounts.
BUT they are my cats when they catch anything!

My advice to other cat owners: I can deal with dead mice, shrews, voles and rats, and actually prefer them dead to alive, but birds? I cover the poor little corpse with two sheets of newspaper and pick it up inside them, so I don't have to look at it more than strictly necessary. Roll the paper in the way fishmongers wrapped up fish when we were children and pop the whole caboodle into a plastic bag. Knot said bag shut and dispose of in bin.

He has valiantly accompanied me to the vet on the sad occasions when we realised we would be returning home without an old, ill cat. Attends family funerals too. Lends moral support at dentist and would do so at doctor or hospital if necessary.

Picking up dog poo before I cut the grass is his most important task.

Mine was good at mowing the lawn when we had one, I hated the Flymo but used it when he was recovering from an operation.

Washed up before we moved & gained a dishwasher, he still dealt with hand washing.

Cleaned kitchen & bathroom (well a man clean, I still had to do lightswitches & door panels)

Climbing into loft (no loft now)

Decorated (rely on DD & DiL, same sex marriage, as I can no longer manage most of it) although I helped.

All other jobs fell to me including putting bins out & dealing with cats presents. I dealt with finances.

I miss the laughter & cuddles, miss his company & sharing the driving on long journeys to visit DM, 300 miles now I have to do it on my own but as DM is 88 I have to go to see her. I survived after his death as I had dealt with a good share of the household tasks & best of all used to dealing with all the finances. I would encourage all you lucky ladies to be as involved as possible whilst you have your lovely DHs & also encourage them to use washing machine etc so they're not helpless.

When I was widowed I realised I couldn't do many many things as he always did them... so I had to learn. My new partner gets it very easy as I don't want to feel like that again and 'can' do everything. However we are already slipping into mans work and woman's work, I know.. I am a disgrace to feminism. He does all the handy stuff that I would normally have to pay a trades man person to do and makes me a coffee every morning.. oh and very considerate in the bedroom. What more could i want.

That rather puts a different light on what you said, teddy.

Meant to say I can't think of one thing!!

Hilly yes, ditto for my DH.

I quite like mice, but for hygene reasons don’t want them in the house, we used to have a lot, simply because the cats brought them in to play with, and then lost them as they vanished under the cooker or fridge.So much for keeping cats!

He gives me hugs when I need one
Sees to getting rid of spiders and any other
Comes shopping with me to carry heavy bags
Does all diy and helps with housework
Is one of the good ones
Drives me mad at times but I wouldn't swap him

My DH is good for
Politely seeing off Jehovas Witnesses
Sorting out my computer when it crashes
Getting Netflix back when the spinning thing on the screen refuses to budge
Going to the cash machine for cash
Cooking a delicious meal when I decide I can't be bothered

Dear God can i please have a loan of so many peoples' hubbies...?! Mine takes the bins out...because I have assigned him this one job in the house and i nag him when he tries to slide out of it. He works full time, I am at home, so the home jobs are mine. At weekends he always offers to wash up, and sometimes I take him up on his offer as a treat. He is totally useless around the house, cannot even change a plug, and learned all he knows from his father! Anything which might be considered scary is by default also my job, as he squeals like a girl and stands paralysed with terror until I come and deal with whatever it is (spider, slug in the garden, crane fly, moth, wasp, etc etc). I must really love him, cos he's a poorly-paid and put-upon Civil Servant not some highly-paid CEO, so can't buy his way into my good graces!

It's odd isn't it that although I always thought that I was feminist, when I looked at who does what in our house, we seem to have divided most of the chores into traditional "male" and "female" tasks! Works for us! However I can do most of "his" tasks and he could no doubt do do most of "mine". However I know he would never bother to replace a button and I'd probably never put oil in the car! I always get a cup of tea in bed in the morning so that's a good reason for keeping him! Plus we love each other of course!I
ncidentally, I realise that somewhere along the way I have lost my fear of spiders, once the one thing I could not deal with! How did that happen?

I truly think of one thing. Rather embarrassing to admit to this.

Re: live mice. I use a fishing net for live ones & run outside doing a sort of lacrosse move with the stick & chuck it as far as I can into the undergrowth.
Dead ones - almost worse (makes no sense to find them more disturbing dead than alive) but thick rubber gloves, dustpan & brush.

I would have to scratch my own back, mix my own gin and tonics or clean plug holes (yuk!).
Charlie brings mice in at night and delivers them to us in bed ...

mcem I spent 22 years married to a person who for last 8 years continually put me down and told me would not manage without him, Then he cheated on me so I threw him out and found when I tried I was perfectly able to wall paper. He called around about 10 months after we divorced to collect son and asked who I had got to wallpaper for me. I felt so proud to be able to say I had done it myself and the look of surprise on his face was worth all the effort it took to learn to do it. He later asked my son if I had really done it or got someone in so clearly he did not believe me.

He pays for everything and is quite nice to have around now that he's retired.
He puts the rubbish out.
He cuts the grass.
He does all the paper work, bills etc.,
He cooks frequently for both of us.
He deals initially with builders, workmen but I'm the one to speak up if we're not happy with the way the jobs been done.
He does all the long distance driving.
I do the plants, pots etc.,
I walk the dog.
I do all the ironing as I quite enjoy doing it.
I do some house work, have nice ladies who come in every other week?‍??‍??‍?
I am not afraid of mice, we get the odd one, old house.
I do not kill slugs or anything else in the garden.
I keep the social diary.
We share and it works for us and I'm happy.
I am not a person who could ever have waited on a man. When I met my husband he was the one who could cook, I couldn't.
He has spoilt me and I have been a very lucky girl.
I wouldn't change him for anything, who would do all that paper work?.

The only thing I have been unable to cope with since being widowed is cats bringing slow worms into the house. I can deal with all the other things. Luckily, I have wonderful neighbours who will come around and take them back out into the garden. ( the slow worms, that is, not the cats)

My DH's 'hobby' since he retired is to save us money! He trawls the internet for the best deal on anything we buy and changes energy supplier regularly. I could do it but I can't be bothered.
He also does anything to do with the car, including putting the fuel in it, because I find the smell of petrol or diesel nauseating.
He is also very useful to warm my feet on in bed when the nights get chilly!

He makes the best cup of tea (((ever )))
He makes the Christmas cake every year, and enjoys doing so.
He is kind to animals.
He would do anything for me and offer's me a cup of tea in bed, every morning though I don't take him up on it, it's nice to be asked XX
and that's just the few I can think of XX

sarahellenwhitney, I started this thread with my tongue firmly in cheek and the first few posters 'got' that.

It has, however, taken a slight turn for the serious so I will announce to the world GN that I love my husband dearly.

Yeah loving this post too. Perhaps it's good to make those of us who feel we have a good husband/partner appreciate everything, aside from the practical aspects. My husband always goes the extra mile for me without being asked, for example, have had to have some root canal treatment lately, came with me sat in the waiting room. Always tells me he thinks I look nice, even if I don't think so, calms me down when I am anxious, he is a good listener and conversationalist, kisses me goodbye when ever he goes out, is very affectionate. I hope I reciprocate. Kids aside whenever I reflect on the people who I feel lucky to have had in my life it would be my husband and my mother, I couldn't have asked for better ones.