Hells Bells - it's happened!!

My mother was the quintessential extrovert... had a gazillion friends, held court at every gathering and was the life of every party. Me? Not at all, but I do enjoy the occasional chat with my fellow 'queuers' at the local market or the other patients during long waits at my dentist's (doctor's) office. I guess that's how terms like 'patients' and 'waiting room' were born. My mom? I do have a few other traits to thank her for, but not her charisma. She was one of a kind.

This thread has also dredged up the negative memory of a checkout operator who couldn't read my clear discomfort while she persisted chatty conversation about the red roses I was buying for the house. The next day was Valentine's Day and also the day of my husband's funeral. She asked who they were for, what I had planned for Valentine's Day, what she was doing....it was endless drivel. It took every ounce of self control not to snap at her, tell her the truth, or drop the flowers and run but I made it to the car before I broke down.

Kittylester...you don't need to stop doing what you are doing, apart from the purse thing maybe. I hope I am just like my mother - she was kind and considerate and always talking to people.

Paddyann reminded me of the time my mother struck up a conversation at the theatre with a young couple who had arrived in Glasgow that day. We gave them lots of suggestions about places to visit and things to do. At the end of the show my mother decided that we should give them a guided tour. At first they were hesitant but clearly decided they could trust us and two hours later we dropped them at their hotel having been driven round all the sights. They seemed mesmerised that anyone would have been so kind to complete strangers. My mother's explanation was "This is Glasgow, enjoy the rest of your stay"

A few weeks ago DH & I were visiting Lyme Regis and on our return along the (narrow) beach path from the west cliffs we passed the time of day with a lady in a wheelchair (waiting for her husband). This somehow turned into her telling us her (fascinating & funny) life story. We didn't rush off despite being concerned that we might miss our 2 hourly bus home. We were so pleased that we didn't because as we said goodbye she said that despite staying at the beach caravan for 3 days we were the first people to speak. Others had simply passed by, ignoring her existence.
It concerns me that one could easily spend a day in our city without speaking to a soul. Bus pass, bank machine, and the automatic checkouts all add to the feeling of isolation. I'm not a great talker but like to smile & politely greet others I encounter and this does often turn into a chat.

OH and I got talking to a young couple opposite on a long train journey they were strangers to one another, after working our way through the usual stuff they asked how we had managed to stay married so long! A look of amazement followed but we then had the pleasure, for the rest of the journey, watching them get to know one another. We do wonder what happened, we got off first and I wanted to tell them to make sure they exchanged numbers.

I usually smile and say hello to strangers if they look friendly. I chat too on trains, buses etc, but only if I think someone is up for it. I always speak to dog owners and small children. I'm nothing like my mother!

Stay as you are Kittylester. I am sure you are a wonderful memoir to your mother. I am becoming my mother and I embrace it. I do wish more people would talk to me in queues and buses. Some people love it and join in the conversation, some look at me as if I am mad and others bristle as if I have invaded their space. If you smile and say good morning to people, you probably make their day!

I enjoy chatting with strangers don't worry about you could be making someone's day

I'm a chatter too. Always have been. Many years ago before I had a car and had to take the children to town on the bus, I started chatting to a lady at the bus stop. During the journey home my 8yr old asked me if I knew that lady. When I answered no, she told me off for talking to a stranger, because I'd always told them not to!

kittylester I can't see what's wrong with being sociable, as long as you read people's body language and shut up if they don't want to talk. There are some very lonely people out there and it's possible you are the only person they converse with on the day. Over the years, I've had some very rewarding conversations with total strangers.

I've always found it easy to chat, never pass any-one without saying hello, but I was brought up in a village. I now live on the outskirts of a lovely small Devon town, very friendly. I always have a word for every-one, as others have said it might be the only person they've spoken to that day or even that week.

Some years ago I rang DM over the Christmas/New Year period, she couldn't get out as the roads were covered in snow & ice, she lives in a very spread out village in Yorkshire (she is 88 & no longer drives). She hadn't seen any-one for over 2 weeks, her only contact was myself & DD ringing her (we both live in Devon so can't pop in, 300 miles is a long way to go for a coffee). I make a point of ringing her several times a week.

When I was younger I used to hate it when people chatted to me in a queue or on a bus etc. I used to think they were strange people. However, now I am happy to chat away and sometimes I think maybe those people are lonely and the only chance they get for conversation is when they are out and about. I think it's lovely kitty

Carry on Kittylister, I do the same, even though I never thought I would. I find most people are happy to have a bit of banter about something or other. Also the other person may be very lonely & will be pleased to have some interaction. As Ajanela says humans are social animals, we can become depressed if we don't interact with each other.But I do have to remind myself not to go overboard & rabbit on too long, you can usually tell by someone's body language (??hopefully)

Don't give it up, or conversation will die. Humans are sociable annimals and we have to teach our children how to converse face to face.

Annoys me when they answer their phones when they are at the checkout. At least when you are talking you have 2 hands to pack.

Visiting DiL came back from our village shop in a state of panic because 'strangers' had said hello to her.

I live in France and much as I try I can't get to grips with the language so chit chat is virtually impossible. I really miss just talking about anything/everything with strangers at bus stops, at supermarkets etc. Keep talking to whoever you can As another post commented that might be the only conversation someone has that day.

I've definitely become more of a chatterer as I've got older and have had some very interesting conversations on public transport. My mother always had a tale to tell about her bus journey to visit us - one day she had a chat with John Logie Baird's daughter.

I chat to anyone, at bus stops, shops, cafes .
There was one time I was talking to an elderly gentleman at the bus stop but he started to go on about immigrants and was rascist to black people so I walked off.

Well of courseI had to explain to the lady next to me in the TKMaxx queue why I was buying a £3 watch (my other one had been sent off for repair). Quite a bargain though, eh?

I always feel better if I have had a little chat with someone. I don't think you should try to stop (unless you carry on doing it as people's eyes glaze over or they start slowly backing away!)

Me too.... anyone and everyone. My DD always used to be embarrassed when I did it but hey she does it to now.

When I was a very busy young mum I was rushing out of a shop and an elderly lady held the door open for me and made some comment about the weather. I said a few words to her, and then she took my arm and said I was the only person she had spoken to that week. I have never forgotten her, and I wished I had taken it further than a few lines of conversation and asked her to go for for a cup of tea. I might well have been the last person she ever spoke to and I think about that too as she told me she was ninety three. yesterday a very elderly trembly gent on a frame stopped to pat my dog and then talked for about fifteen minutes ; I'm not sure of all that he was saying but we parted with a smile. Getting back to the point of this thread - yes I do talk to people, my Mum wasn't overly sociable with anyone so I try not to be like her - a reversal of what kittylester is saying I think!

this made me laugh because my mum was like that too! I used to inwardly cringe when she started and you could tell if people weren't interested, but on the whole it was well received. Now, sadly, that she is no longer here, I think we need more of this sort of interaction. We are more isolated from one another , and what with folk going around the streets with their phone glued to their ears nobody has time just to say a simple "Hello isn't it a lovely day" sort of thing. I moved from a town to a large village and have noticed that people here always say hello when passing. You just never know when a kind word might make all the difference to someone.

I just hope I never turn into one of the old dears (NB I am well past retirement age myself!) who like to have a leisurely chat at the supermarket checkout or the post office - when there's a long queue behind them. Or who take ages to find their purse when it's time to pay, instead of having it ready.

At least nobody gets held up around here waiting for someone to find their change for the bus fare. You can't pay with cash here - bus pass or Oyster or contactless card only.

But I do notice a lot of delaying cash-fumbling on buses where dd lives - and the young are just as bad as anyone older.