Right, I've just about had enough! There is room for EVERYONE!

seacliff, you mention "the curse", do you mean "Cursing the Gammon" or the curse I posted for kittylesters "idiot"? (Not that I would be able to find either!)

The title of this thread made me think about this book, which I have read and read and read and............

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf_n6yjr9T0

phoenix Do keep the humour going. I have not seen you posting so much lately.
(Mind you I have not been on here so regularly of late. I blame my garden).

I have one of those minds that tends to go off at a tangent and find odd things silly.

I have found this usually goes down OK on GN but it does not work so well at all on the garden forum I use.

It seems in general to be the men on there who are dreadfully serious about their gardening and don't go in for funny observations etc.
The women do take their gardening seriously but are far much more prone to joking and banter.

Nellie I did snigger a while back when I heard a neighbour admonish the window cleaner with the words "will you please get your ladder out of my bush, I've only just trimmed it and it's a bit delicate."

It was the gammon Phoenix, bit too early for that this year. Always look forward to it!!

Although I love the idiots one too.

I love your humour Phoenix. The tale which made me laugh the most was the one about your struggles with a thong!

Now that I would love to read!

Keep posting phoenix you keep us entertained, love the window cleaner story.
Apropos of thongs my daughter says that wearing one is like flossing your bottom

Keep on posting phoenix?

The thong thing, from many years ago, when I had a "proper" job!

"Admittedly, I was running late, so perhaps didn't give sorting my clothes out for work my full attention. (Managed to remember to put earrings in before leaving though, otherwise I would have felt naked)

Anyway, arrived at work, felt a bit uncomfortable in the downstairs department, but as I had to go straight in to a meeting, I didn't give it too much thought.

During the meeting every time I crossed my legs I experienced a strange & somewhat disconcerting sensation. As it was neither pleasant nor enjoyable, I decided to desist from leg crossing & attempted to just sit with my ankles neatly together. From time to time they drifted apart, taking my knees with them, but as I was wearing trousers this did not cause any undue alarm to those present.

Meeting over, I went off down the corridor to my desk, still feeling rather "odd". After carefully checking that no-one was behind me, I indulged in some rather John Cleese/Ministry of Silly Walks movements, sort of stretching first one, then the other leg out sideways, (yes, I know it's a bit visual, but do your best ladies) but to no avail. (Or perhaps think of a rather small & non-Japanese sumo wrestler limbering up, if that helps.)

I was worried that something may have gone awry "down below", perhaps ones labia continue to grow at a certain age, a bit like old men’s earlobes, but I had a busy, but fortunately short, day ahead of me so just had to get on with it.

The journey home was no better, luckily I drive an automatic, so much easier when you need a really good wriggle, I find.

Anyway, on reaching home, such was my discomfort that rather than head straight for the fridge for a glass of something restorative, I dashed upstairs to get changed.

That's when I discovered that it is perfectly possible to put ones thong on sideways."

Keep it going, Phoenix. I like a bit of humour and light hearted posting. I like to keep my posts light, but sometimes there is no place for them and they get lost.

I love reading the lighthearted posts, and tend to give up when they get hijacked by people who seem to have no sense of humour and get outraged about simple things. Your posts Phoenix are always good for a giggle and we need that these days, with so much doom and gloom in the world. Maybe we need a heading 'Lighthearted' or some such?

Phoenix funny anyway, but the way you tell 'em ...

Had you not peed all day!? - you're a better woman than I !!!

I'll try again to find the wheelie bin one.......

That's what I thought luckygirl
Who ever suggested the "light hearted" forum I agree, good idea.
Keep up the good work phoenix we need you.

There was another underwear "incident" that only came about because I did have to go to the loo, on a train.......

Would be fun (for us!) If you shared, Phoenix.

There's a word for it, you know, laughing at other's misfortunes!

Schadenfreude - it's at the root of most comedy. Look at the man and the banana skin joke! Whatever it is I'm enjoying it-keep 'em coming!!

Phoenix You have been a breath of fresh air on here since the first day we joined all those years ago and made so many people smile with your posts,don't you ever think of not posting as you will be sorely missed,at one time I used to read most posts but pick and choose carefully now I think we must have lost a lot of regular posters for the same reasons you have mentioned which is such a shame.

Phoenix your thong incident reminded me of the time I went on a coach trip with the WI - we stopped at the services for a toilet break which turned out to be a literal one for me when the side of my thong snapped! With no safety pin handy I had to try and knot it back together and then sit having a sensible conversation with my fellow passengers willing it not to burst open again. Whilst the rest of the group were enjoying the meal we'd gone for I was searching market stalls for a suitable replacement! Sadly (or maybe thankfully) my thong wearing days are long behind me!! Don't stop your posts - they're always entertaining

Your thong story reminds me of my daughter, who came home from school one day complaining of a sore tummy. Yup, you've guseed it, she'd hadhe knickers on sideways all day and had almost garrotted her own waist!

This is the same child who loudly announced in a hushed art museum that 'My elastic's gone and my knickers are falling down!' The museum then echoed to the sound of other people's stifled giggles.

* guessed not guseed and had her, not hadhe