My Turn?

Sorry MawBroon

I have been following a thread on another forum with a similar theme; OP said that DH had offered to help her carry in the shopping. He picked up a pack of toilet rolls, dropped them in the hall outside the bathroom door and wandered off to do something else in the garden. OP wasn't sure which was the more annoying, that he didn't give her any more help, or that he couldn't be bothered to put the toilet rolls away in the bathroom. She decided to leave the pack where it was to see if he would put the pack away later. He didn't, although he walked past it a couple of times to use the bathroom. OP stuck to her guns, left the pack there all week, cleaned round it, even removed a couple of rolls when the need arose, but her DH never once commented. Her daughter arrived at the weekend, walked in, saw the pack, picked it up and put it away in the bathroom cupboard. OP was quite disappointed that her little experiment had come to an untimely end, and we readers missed our daily updates, so the saga is now ongoing; when her DH leaves something in an inappropriate place, it is left there, and becomes "the item of interest" until he moves it. If he should ask if she has seen his "item of interest" anywhere, the answer is "No dear."

I think my first thread on GN asked if I was the only GNer who had a
'Toilet roll fairy' living in their house.

Or indeed a laundry fairy, it goes into the laundry bin dirty and appears in the drawer and wardrobe, washed dried pressed and folded as if by magic.??

I remember the days when light hearted threads about family members who seemed to think 'pulling their weight' meant lifting a can of a refreshing beverage out of the fridge would be met with similar replies and much humour.

What on earth is happening to Gransnet?

Thank you all for your encouraging comments. As one said, it is a shame that jokey posts are taken so seriously.
I appreciate that some posters have very difficult lives, but perhaps they should be ncouraged to occasionally come out of the gloom into the sunshine and enjoy a few minutes of lighthearted fun.

The lighter threads certainly keep me going grandMattie

If I am one of those being encouraged to "come out of the gloom" grandmattie may I say that I enjoy reading and contributing to lighthearted posts as much as anybody.
What I did not appreciate (and I promise I will not go banging on about it this is the last time I will try to clear this up) was being slapped down with a "got out of the wrong side of bed?" when all I had said was that you /we should "choose your battles" and to quote one of my mum's favourite sayings when one of us children used to bleat about size of cake/relative bedtime/pocket money, namely " nobody promised you life would be fair"
My subsequent remarks were a reaction to the apparent put down as I attempted to explain in my post of 16.25
I see I was not alone in my advice about "battles" (*christinefrance*) but there you go -perhaps I should indeed "choose my battles" but I am not some sort of Eeyore who needs "cheering" up or indeed patronising.
I will indeed look forward to further lighthearted and amusing threads.
End of.

Mawbroon

Well OP, I think our husbands must be twins! I do wonder if it is a male thing NOT to change the loo-roll???

It seems that both parties have felt stung by the remarks of the other so, in effect, a sort of misunderstanding. Since I probably added to the escalation of the bad feeling, I am sorry.

I'm hoping to change that male stereotype in my family!
My GS (8) has taken it upon hmself to check that there are loo rolls in the unit and enough left on the holder. I'm pretty sure he 'finishes off' the one in use simply so he can put in a new one!

Not to be undone, GD (7) insists on checking that the tea caddy is full of teabags.

I think they've decided that it's their way of looking after me as it doesn't cross their minds to do this at home!

Pax?

When my husband retired he assured me we were both now retired! I queried how as a stay at home Mum my conditions had changed. He then offered to do various jobs for ME, I pointed out that it was not for me but for us both. He understood this and set to with a will, to the point where he began to take over everything! We had to have words about that too, but we are getting there, so keep expressing your point of view.

Back to original point!!
My DH changes loo roll alright but when it is only 3/4 used.
I'd rather he left it to me TBH.

He does empty dishwasher but I spend half my time looking for things. When he retires we are going to have to make some ground rules PDQ.

If no one could post a light hearted first world problem without others reminding them of the dead and dying, where would we be?

Everyone has their travails in life and it is a real mistake to think that because some do not whinge or because some people only complain of 'trivialities' that they do not share the real angsts that life throws up. We all live, breathe, die and share the tragedies that affect others and ourselves.

Every day is a battle. For everyone.

My children never change loo rolls or put empty tins or cartons in the bin. Well, my DD does now she has her own house!

I can quite understand your problem, grandMattie, although I must say that DH is pretty reliable at changing the toilet roll. However, he does seem to think that the empty middle will just disappear if he leaves it on the shelf, and it's always my turn to move it. It amazes me how often visitors will either not change the roll and just use the new one from the window sill or change it and make no attempt to bring the empty middle downstairs (we don't use the upstairs loo when we have visitors, so I can blame them with impunity).

I would like to state that I know that these are first world problems, and I do spend quite a lot of time worrying about North Korea and the relief efforts for the results of hurricanes in the Caribbean and Asia. I am also sorry that not everyone has a DH as wonderful as mine, but there is nothing I can do about that, much as I would like to. We all have to live our own lives in the places where we find ourselves and that does involve changing toilet rolls (for those of us fortunate enough to have toilets).

In our house it is always my turn to do most things wile he lies down in his lazy boy chair. (true)
He did comment to visitors that he made me x2 ham rolls for lunch the day before! Thought he was going to get a gold meddle for helping me!

Wow, remind me never to start a lighthearted thread.
I gave up reading after the second page.
I don't like reading posts by squabbling children. Talk about argumentative over a totally bland comment.
No wonder some people are reluctant to post!

Geez this has got out of hand. I the the OP was being light hearted and just doing the usual thing of hubby "bashing" for fun.
If you aren't in the mood for it scroll by. No need for the post mortem.
Just to admto the subject. I'm in a wheelchair so it means I get out of lots of household chores. Well, there has to be some perks to it I guess

Like many others I am sure, I have had some pretty horrendous things happen in my life and every day we read of man doing unspeakably awful things to his fellow man. I don't particularly want to come onto Gransnet to express my horror at these things I can do nothing about.

If a post seems just too first world to be bothered with I can ignore it and move on but lighthearted posts can be cheering and replies funny and a smile has got to be better than tears.

As for the toilet roll, I always have the best of intentions but once I have washed my hands I often forget to fetch out a new one and no-one grumbles because we are as bad as each other.

If I can stick my fourpence in here...

It's a truism that 'life is not fair and no one said it would be'. That's not really the point at issue. For myself, I would consider it extremely 'unfair' f it was I who always had to change the loo roll, all those little mundane jobs. Whoever uses the last piece of loo paper or whoever notices that there's not much left, that person gets the next roll out in readiness. Not worth making a big thing about.

What would concern me much more and what I would regard as much less fair, is that idea that you can wash saucepans but not load the dishwasher (not that we have a dishwasher). Or that someone can pay the bills but not fold towels etc. I don't like these domestic demarcations. Is it a partnership, or is it not?

Regarding payment of bills, we share them equally. All the bills get paid automatically from the joint account and we each tip into the joint account at the end of every month.

We've just come back from a trip through France. DH paid for everything on a credit card that gives him a good deal for foreign spending. When all gets added up I'll reimburse him for my half. We've just had the boiler replaced and we shared that equally.

I am so distressed on behalf of ordinary people caught up in these horrific hurricanes and storms in the Carribean, I find the North Korean situation very frightening, the Donald is a travesty, Brexit is a shambles, I worry for my grandchildren and their offspring with the world wide detritus ruining this planet, internet and social media bullying, extremists of any sort and global warming.

But do you know what, I still get incensed when OH always leaves the last few pieces on the loo roll and starts a new one so he doesn't have to change the old one!