Buying birthday/Christmas cards for husbands family

I always bought and wrote the cards when married to my first husband, but he would always be involved in choosing the cards, posting them etc. I never got the feeling that he was pushing this job onto me, and he had no trouble in going out to find me lovely cards for birthday, anniversary and Christmas. With husband no 2 the situation is quite different. One of the first things he said to me was that he never wrote/sent cards but that he would like me to do that so he could strengthen his relationships with his family. I was happy to do this in the early years, but with time and the complete lack of acknowledgement and reciprocity I have now told him that I no longer see this as my responsibility. He keeps a list of his family's birthdays and then reminds me that 'we' have to send a card. Now I firmly remind him that when I receive a birthday card from those relatives, it will be the first time - and that until I do I will not be wasting my time sourcing and sending cards to them. He has accepted this - what option does he have? I should have done this years ago and saved myself a lot of time and effort!

We're not really into cards, and DH is housebound, so either DS or I buy cards for close family on his behalf.

H only has one sister that we are in touch with the other cut herself off years ago, his parents are both dead and so are his 6 aunts and one uncle.
I always sent cards to his family at Christmas and his sister and parents for birthdays. His sister sometimes sends us and the children birthday cards but often forgets.
The only cards I've known H to write in 45 yrs are to me (he's never missed a birthday or Christmas) and to a handful of work mates at Christmas

We always buy cards for one another. Think we both would be disappointed if either didn't get one.
On our anniversary we just go for a meal usually with our family. Next year is our golden we are deciding what to do for that don't want a party though.

When I was married I did all the card and present buying for my husband's family. He wasn't ever going to, and I thought it was only polite that they received them, especially when kids were involved.
Now my son (married with kids) is exactly the same - I don't get b'day wishes via text, never mind cards! I don't see why his wife should do it for him (and neither does she). It does hurt not to get anything from him.
My daughter is totally different - always thoughtful about birthdays etc. I wonder where I went wrong ? I always tried to treat them equally but obviously sent out some mixed messages somehow...

No mention of this in the marriage service is there?

It needs some serious updating, all that 'forsaking all others' has dwindled off a bit, why not have a 'and sending all presents' bit instead, just so people know what they are getting themselves in to.

I send all the birthday and Christmas cards. He doesn't even buy me one. I don't mind. He's very generous with gifts throughout the year, just doesn't see the point of buying things just for the sake of it.

It's one of those jobs which come under the heading of admin which is my dept. We share tasks according to ability, I can't do maintenance or cook so my husband does that. I like his family and am happy to keep in touch. Not so many cards now though, the younger generation don't seem to bother and friends are sadly dying now.

Told him when I married him (a second marriage) that I would not be taking responsibility for this. He's in charge of birthdays and christmases for his dozen or so immediate family.

My husband stopped writing to his mother from the first time I foolishly said 'I wrote to your mother to thank her ....'. He never buys presents for anyone except me and these days I usually get my daughter to drop hints as to what I want. Judging by my latest birthday presents from my son and his wife the tradition seems to be continuing. I got a beautiful bracelet , obviously her choice, and a paperback clearly added on by my son.

I don't think my old boy has bought a card or present for any occasion for any of his family since we married 48 years ago. Spoilt? Probably, but he does always remember my birthday and has got better with presents over the years too so I'm not complaining!

My OH never seems cards to his family. Usually I get one, but sometimes very last minute.

I like his brother and sister, so I get them a card, and make him sign it. I know it means a lot, particularly to his sister. Terrible I know!

Wow paddyann you are organised, I haven't even thought about Christmas.

tanith I agree why should you bother if he doesn't .

What I'm also wondering is does your husbands family send you a card? Or does no one bother ?

I buy gifts and cards for my family and DH buys, if he remembers, for his family. I think DHs family do not receive cards or gifts often.

I do Christmas cards for both our families but I draw the line with DHs family birthdays if he won't bother why should I.

my husbands family would never have had a card ever if he'd been left to buy them,we've been married 42 years and he's bought me ONE in all those years ,he does buy me presents though He thinks cards are a waste of money .So I buy all the cards and presents that need bought always have ,I dont mind doing it and I am organised so they are in the present cupboard in advance of the date.Only three people left to buy for Christmas ,22 already bought ready to wrap ,though I've 5 birthdays this month and another 4 before Christmas