Beggars CAN be choosers!

I follow the advice of the various charities for the homeless - don't give beggars money, give it to the charity. My daughter used to work for a pizza restaurant when she was at college. One evening they had cooked more pizzas than were needed, and she took one out to a beggar outside. His response was 'I don't eat pizza'. Her response was 'Well, you can't really be hungry then!'.

Yes anniebach I think most of us understood that and I agree with BlueBelle about compassion not necessarily meaning collusion.

And no one on here is showing anything but compassion but compassion needs to be about not colluding with someone's addiction

Good understanding norose,

May I say to all, no one decides - I will be an alcoholic, no one knows when they take that first drink if they will become an alcoholic or not.

We no longer have any beggars in our town centre (well certainly not in the daytime) so it doesn't arise However I do support the Sally Army who do a lot of good work with the homeless
We did have a young man sleeping rough in the shop doorways outside the town centre he was given blankets, sleeping bags, food and coffee by residents daily he was also offered a council flat which he declined I don't know where he is now
I would never give money now since I ve had a more realistic view of how it is spent as that truely helps no one least if all the person it is conluding with their addiction

Sadly these people who have for what ever reason got to this very sad state will definitely crave the alchol over food or anything else. Their is no easy answer, it takes almost one to one interaction 24/7. No council or charity can sustain that help . Volunteers do all they can , but it will never be enough to help everyone who has ended up this way , so I guess the best we can do is try to talk to them when we give them money or food,ask them to be honest ,try to reach them truthfully & if they never make it, they will have at least experienced someone stoping to care, but sadly most will be past that & just want their next fix

I don't know why you are getting so irate anniebach. You posted this Do these charities provide drying out clinics? No because they are are too costly. This is not a factual statement - some of the charities do provide some rehab facilities. As I have already posted, I am fully aware ( without doing research) that the facilities available are totally inadequate and that is a government not charity failure anyway. I don't appreciate you ordering me to do some research by the way. This started off as an interesting discussion - those of us who do not give money are not taking the high moral ground but stating a position that we genuinely hold - those of you who give money have said why. Two sets of opinions with with reasons given -I think disagreements are allowed

Maryeliza, do you know how many rehab centres in the country ? how long the wait is to get a place ? Do some research .

Yes what I do with my money is my choice, the high moral ground isn't the place for me. Do I want to buy an alcoholic a Drink? NO, do I want them curled up on the pavement with abdominal pain or stiff as a board whilst having a convulsion ? NO , do I want them to steal ? NO

Anya - hugs , It a bugger isn't it

I didn't mean to imply that the help is easily available - I was making the point that charities dealing with homeless people may well offer rehab facilities as well when you said they didn't - you made a bald not qualified statement. There is no way that the charities could meet all the needs and as has been said, people have to want to be helped in the first place. I agree that someone who is desperate for a drink will get one somehow - I was just saying that my position is that it won't be through me - others make their own choices obviously.

Annie both you and I know that charities can only provide help for those that want it. I have enormous admiration for those who manage to stay dry (I'd like to say 'recover' but that's not really possible) but they are few and far between.

Alcoholism is pretty much acquired through a genetic predisposition and tends to run in families. It certainly does in mine. But it is so, so hard on family members and I cannot blame anyone who eventually gives up on an alcoholic who just throws everything back in their face, promises everything, delivers nothing but pain, embarrassment and heart ache.

Sorry for venting,

We are speaking of people who have sunk as low as anyone can . We don't know why or know what life has thrown at them .

I said charities didn't have the money to care for them all and am accused of criticising the charities.

If this help is so readily available how come there are so many alcoholics on the streets? There is not enough of money , may be in the Thames Valley , quite an affluent part if the country? but not country wide. This is not a criticism it is a fact.

mary of course you won't have seen these signs in my town centre unless of course it's suddenly become a national trend

I do know what Annie means that it's a bit of a losing battle not giving them money as somehow or other they'll get it anyway. You can't stand between an alcoholic and their drink - I know that from my father and my sister - but I'd no sooner have offered my sister a drink than give money for that purpose.

My money my choice. Annie's money so her choice I'd have to add.

Oh dear - thrown back at you? I don't think I could cope with that at all which I appreciate may not reflect well on me.

I always bought a sausage roll and coffee, until it was thrown back at me one day.

I asked the man in question what he did want? ' A can of Special Brew to take the pain away' so I gave him the money and the pigeons ate the sausage roll.

I think you can believe there but for the grace of whoever whilst giving coffee/sandwich. I would just feel bad ignoring the advice of those I admire for the work they do and who' give advice based on their experience and knowledge.

Like Anniebach I always give cash, I realise I'm ignoring all the guidelines.
There but for the grace of God goes one of mine.

Ah good point Ana ! I didn't think of that.

There's couple of Romanian women who seem to take it in turns to sit outside our local Post office . They cry and wail and hold out a paper cup for money. When they've finished crying and wailing they can be seen on their mobile phones or smoking. I do not give them money .

You made a very blanket comment Anniebach which was inaccurate about every charity I know (which clearly isn't all of them but some of the biggest) that works with homeless people. I'm sorry if your child hasn't had the support they needed but that doesn't mean no-one gets support or that the advice re giving cash is not the right advice.

I did not criticise the charities,

Old woman, no one is more involved than the mother of an alcoholic

I stopped giving money to beggars because of the advice of the various charities who work with homeless people. I trust them to be doing their best and know far more than I could about what is appropriate. I buy sandwiches and coffee and have never seen the sign that the OP mentions. As for what these charities do, Thames Reach, for example, which has very good online advice as to why you shouldn't give cash, has an extensive programme of projects which do not stop at giving this advice or even stop at providing temporary shelter but in addition tackle the causes of the homelessness in a variety of ways such as providing training and working opportunities. But, so far as this thread is concerned, they also offer rehabilitation services for people with substance abuse problems -so Anniebach I don't think you are being fair or accurate in your criticisms of the charities and the advice and services they offer. I never judge homeless people, I know enough to know( as many of us do) that there will almost always be a very sad or heartbreaking story behind their homelessness.

Well that's fine Anniebach, you go ahead and give them money, or even alcohol, the rest of us will follow the advice of the charities most involved - and with a better knowledge of what helps and what doesn't.

And an alcoholic if they can't have a drink can have a convulsion and die . That's how it is. Do these charities provide drying out clinics? No because too costly.

It is very dangerous for an alcoholic to go dry , dry or drinking both kill.