Vaguely disgruntled

phoenix

That sounds like a fun tea party to me phoenix

I would have been put out. This seems rather like the soft side of how they used to sell apartments in Spain. If you had been told it was for them to peddle their faith (I am sure they would have put it more tastefully) you could have made the decision to go or not on the basis. Otherwise you were conned and go away with the reinforced view that there is no such thing as a free afternoon tea.

What sort of church/faith do they belong to (just being nosy). It sounds more American then British.

It's a rather unpleasant thing to do imo. Our children were pleased when some friends from school were allowed to come here to play. All went well but a couple of hours in, the 3 visiting children produced various leaflets and tried to persuade us to become Jehovah's Witnesses. The children were aged 6 - 9 at this time. My children went to Church and Sunday school, were in the Brownie group locally. They had never been evangelised before and were uncomfortable when they came to tell me.
The children's parents arrived and continued the attempt to involve us in their faith. We were polite but said it wasn't for us that we went to our local CofE Church. Needless to say, our children weren't invited back and future invitations to this group were ignored.
Pyramid selling, Ann Summers, Tupperware, Avon - you know what you're getting into but a summer tea party in the garden, with 3 tables and an opportunity to wear a summer frock, what a rotten thing to do to your guests.

phoenix, here I was thinking that at least if you were invited to a Tupperware party you knew you should take your purse, and there you are taking the less respectable option. Tut tut.

I'm a church-goer, but would be horrified if I was put in that position, Eglantine19. I think that is a quite unacceptable intrusion on your privacy and the fact that it is in the name of religion doesn't excuse it. At least Jehovah's Witnesses will go away if you tell them you're not interested, or you can shut the door. Being stuck at your hostess's table is not the same thing at all

Does this friend of a friend have an affiliation with a certain church? Sounds like this was a premeditated recruitment drive poorly disguised as an innocuous tea party.
Who on earth carries religious leaflets around with them to distribute at a neighbourly function. The fact that there was a representative on each table shouts of desperate recruitment tactics. Glad you politely declined.

I got caught in a pyramid scheme for cleaning products after being pleased to have been invited to a get together, really annoying and cross I had been duped.

I think I would have stuck it out but never returned - or depending on how I was feeling - say something along the lines of 'Oh, this is unexpected. It's not really me', thank the hostess and then left.

It does sound somewhat deceitful and underhand.

At least if you are invited to an Ann Summers party you know what to expect!

(Sorry, I am now imaging a scene with people sitting around in summer frocks {love that word, "frock"} politely chatting over the tea and scones, when someone suddenly comes around and "discretely" deposits various sex toys on the table, while the hostess of each tables extols the virtues of each item)

Yes, I know, I'll get me coat, as the phrase used to go!

I did mean Pyramid selling when I reffered to a Ponzi scheme. It really was an awful scam.

I would have been annoyed - and I think such initiatives are counter-productive.

It reminds me of the time we were invited round for a meal at the house of a newly married couple who were not really close friends but acquaitances - we were actually more friendly with their parents. Having finished the meal, we were then given a sales pitch for becoming representatives of Amway products (I think they got commission through recruiting new sales people and selling "started packs") . We thought it was a real cheek.

I find it strange that people are trying to peddle a religious belief in the same way as they would a cleaning product. It demeans the religion and, in my opinion, is absolutely guaranteed to bring it into disrepute.

I think I would have felt rather awkward, foolish and embarrassed at being conned. I certainly wouldn't want much to do with the aquaintance again. What does your mutual friend think?

Brilliant Oriel ?

The ladies from the church would probably be horrified if other purveyors of goods and schemes employed the same tactics as they did. Yet I expect they feel really virtuous... only religion would make an otherwise inoffensive and honest person feel its justified to behave in such an deceitful way. I expect the local church has a recruitment drive underway and probably the next step would be an invite to an Alpha Course.

It all seems so nice, so innocent... a tea party on the lawn! Whatever next?

Lol ?was awful wasn't it

You have beaten me to it norose!!!

Anyone remember Pyramid selling, another form of brainwashing !

Oh dear, annsixty. So it could have been worse! Actually that made me laugh. I feel better now.

Well I suppose the ' other side' would see it as doing their duty by spreading the word, saving souls & making conversions by any means necessary. They must be aware that people do not like this hence the decisions to be devious, so it's really the same frailties of human nature that we all share, sadly your friend would have gained more respect from you & perhaps even an interest in hearing her views if she had been honest & open about it. It's sort of sad & funny at the same time, & they always mean well don't they!!

I would have been very cross and would definitely have felt let down by the friend who was responsible for the invite.
Many years ago we were invited by friends to a meal at friends of theirs.
Afterwards we all received letters inviting us to invest in a Ponzi type scheme.
Our own friends were mortified as they had no idea and I don't think they remained friends for long.

Something similar happened when we had a GN coffee meet up one particular seemed to be recruiting for some group or other can't even remember what it was but it wasn't well received by most people, she never returned as far as I know. I would feel as you do too.

Tanith this is why I never respond to threads on London meet-ups ...... I'm all for meeting members that I 'know' from my time on GN, or for meeting total strangers at a national convention/conference ... but I'm not interested in having a small get-together with 'total' strangers who have never posted but all of a sudden want to meet up.

Call me strange.

Well I would have been more than ruffled and would have had no trouble at all working out why. This is manipulation pure and simple.

If the person who invited you had made it clear from the start that this is what it was all about, then you could have made the choice to go or not to go - I find this very sneaky and deceitful.

I would have left when things moved on to the evangelizing phase - politely saying that I had had a lovely time and many thanks for that, but as an agnostic I would not wish to participate further.

The view from the other side would no doubt be that this was a benign and kindly attempt to save you; but I see it as disrespectful.

Well you may not get anything from ' the other side' because it is so obvious that there really doesn't seem any defence for a sneaky recruitment I would acknowledge that you feel used and allow yourself to feel annoyed ...it's justified

The other side? Do you mean what would have motivated those women to behave in the way they did?

Yes, I did have a nice time. And it wasn't at all pushy. But I am "ruffled" as no rose says and can't quite work out why. It's comforting to know others would be a bit put out too but I wondered if there was someone out there who could give me the viewpoint from the other side.