Things that over 50's aren't expected to do, have, think, or want?

Call their uber trendy and cool 14 year old grandson 'squishy' in front of his friends.

Flirt with customers to get free prosecco

Tell your work colleagues that you go skip diving for your evening meals just to save money

They should always put their children first. Even when the children are 74 and 76, and they're 98 themself.

Have a life, instead of being available for childcare.?

I wish there was a like button for some of these

Kiss their teenaged grandchildren in front of teenaged grandchildren's friends

Catch teenaged grandchildren' school bus home

might actually have done both of those

when I say young man and him I obviously mean any charming young man who shows some manners to the elderly (and is good for a bit of a flirt with an old granny too).

They should never say 'what a lovely young man' to their DC as said DC will immediately think you fancy him and that is hilarious - and yuk!!

Drink too much and burble
Tell tales to their DGC of what they got up to when they were young
Tell their DGC what their DC got up to when they were young

Oh I'm a bit behind there Misadventure

I'm so glad I dont indulge in any of these things.. just myself, the ticking of the clock, and the clicking of my knitting needles most evenings.

Or Gollum

Go to a nieces hen night and dance on the table
Grab a carafe of wine for bus juice on way home
Get ex DIL p****d and deliver home in sorry state.

Or likewise GC faces MissAdventure

They shouldn't: clean smears off pristine surfaces by licking their finger and rubbing it on said smear.

I'm teetotal, Ana. Honest, guv. [wink ]

mini!

Do I detect the voice of experience MissAdventure?

MissAdventure ^Wear clean knickers (no thongs)
Wipe their sides down with antibacterial spray.^

Are the two connected?! I'm not wiping my sides down with antibac spray - far too sensitive

They shouldn't try to pole dance around lampposts whilst inebriated, neither should they be sick in anyone's handbag (their own included)

They should never want to try out:
A friends husband.
A butt plug.
Hangliding

They should never:
Secretly think that their friends new granddaughter looks like shrek.

sunbathe topless

Special holidays, fun sex, lovely food that is not cut bite size.

...........or get drunk at weddings and flirt with every man in sight

Go skinny-dipping in the local pond...