Mobile phone manners

Husbands phone rang and he immediately talked to his Cousin who had rung him, still sitting with us,

I suppose you could still talk to the wife, between googles? If not, why not prioritise reading a book or newspaper over resuming conversation with him/them?

No suggestions really but I think this is down to manners, not age, or anything else...My sons and partners, in their thirties, have never answered their phones if we've all been together, unless they've known it to be absolutely urgent, and I don't think they ever would in the company of friends. Mostly when socialising they put it on silent or just vibration so it rarely even rings. But I am a complementary therapist and I do have lots of clients answering phones during our consultations! Very rude in my book.

I remember back in the 1970's, a work colleague, started complaining about the children's TV program's on a Saturday morning, because He wanted to go play in the park, and his children wanted to watch the TV "because their friends did" we move in circles, the technology changes and if we don't understand then it must be bad.

vickymeldrew, I'm so quilty of doing what you just descried and to be quite honest my 'phone is usually more interesting than the man I'm with.

I gave up dog walking with a 'good' friend when she started spending more time on her phone to whoever called her ( & there were at least 5 calls per walk) than talking to me. I'm not THAT boring! She just thinks phone calls take priority over face to ace. I did mention it but she said phone calls might be important! So I presume I'm not. Fair enough- I have plenty of other people to walk with who have better manners. ( several other people have given up on her too!)

Yes, we all seem to be of the same mind here. My DS and DD do check their phones from time to time but not enough to be antisocial and never at the table. What I can't quite believe is that there are no GNers out there who disagree!

Just think, in about twenty years what many of us consider so rude will be the absolute norm and no one will notice the difference. Then.....in another twenty years or so someone will rediscover conversation and think they're being inventive and original. Ain't the circle of life amusing!

When my DDs and partner come for eats/lunch/tea etc....woe ! betide anyone that messes with their mobiles!!! (and yes dd I do know that you go up to the loo in between with your mobile in your pocket)

devongirl it hasn't been easy as his little cousins have tablets,including at meal times and they see a lot of each other, but he was a year before he saw any telly - we tried him with a little bit of 'Going On a Bear Hunt on Christmas Day and he kept with it for about 15 mins - he wasn't quite one at the time. His mum has played some YouTube nursery rhymes to him - but again short bursts, but that is it so far - though she is aware of swimming against a tide!

We love films too - from memory, our two eldest both went to the cinema for the first time when they were five. Third child [DD2) came along to see Lion King aged 3 and 9 months, but didn't manage it and 4th (DD2) saw Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame when she was 3 and 9 months - we were on holiday. She sat through it and loved it, but I think girls tend to be a little more developmentally advanced at that age.

We always had family film night (Friday) as the children grew up and they loved playing cinemas too - hours of fun!

There's a word for this - phubbing. (PHone snUBBING) The constant use of smartphones and lack of human interaction. For example, "phubbers" are people in the company of others who are endlessly texting or checking e-mail. My OH is always being told off for phubbing.

Met a friend for lunch today and we have developed a new game. Spot the people NOT on their phones. We noticed how many couples were sitting in total silence looking at their screens. We decided to keep score of the number of people not talking on phones or staring at their screens. In a full restaurant the grand total was 6 (including us!)

Hi adaunas my DGS is on the "spectrum" and sometimes when he has overload in a restaurant of noise, smells, strangers. Letting him play a familiar game on the iPad calms him down he is able to shut all the other stimuli out, which to him can be very overwhelming and even frightening. It is not used as a babysitter, but as an aid, he is even better when allowed to,use earphones, but this is only allowed in extreme situations. The alternative would be to let him have a melt down, extremely distressing for him and those around. He can communicate with those he knows and feels comfortable with.

We have simply requested our son, his new girlfriend and her 14 year old son not to use their mobiles while we are eating a meal or sitting chatting, but to check them, then answer later, unless it is really urgent. The same applies to computers in the sitting room when the whole family is together.

It didn't go down well to start of with, but they gave in albeit with ill grace and have since admitted that they enjoy not having to check their phones, Facebook etc. all the time.

When we visited them recently the same rules applied, so obviously they have found life less stressful without the constant text messaging, updating e-mail etc. At their place we were prepared to have to put up with their phones, after all their place, their rules, but it didn't' t arise.

We broached the subject originally by saying we hoped to enjoy their company while they were here and found it difficult to do so properly if they were always being distracted by their phones.

I always say beforehand to friends if I'm expecting an urgent phone call and do answer it, but it has to be really important . Otherwise I don't answer as it's mad manners. No one minds if it's a call you really must take but not a social call.

I was recently in hospital with Dgd who was having a minor op. She is 4 and thete were several other young children thete waiting to be called down to the operating theatre. No matter how much you reassure your child it is a stressful time for all concerned so lots of story reading etc to keep her mind off things. On the other hand the mother of a little boy of about 3 never once looked up from her phone or spoke to him throughout the whole wait. About 2 hours. When he was wheeled back to the ward, guess what she was doing? I could have cried for him.

DS,DiL and their children are totally obsessed with 'screens' . DiL had to be asked to stop looking at her phone during Christmas Dinner!
I took the GC out for the day yesterday. Even though the parents know that I disapprove of them spending hours looking at their various devices, both arrived with their phones, DSs and an i-pad! "Mum and Dad said we could bring them". In spite of my constant attempts to engage them in conversation both boys spent most of their time outdoors searching for Pokemon. I feel as though I am fighting a losing battle. Last week the children had a trip to a city a couple of hours away, with their Mum.
When I asked them what they did there they said "Mum wanted to find some special Pokemons".
DS isn't much better, either.

Grandbelly54. Courtesy is to switch off before guests arrive What are voice mails for ?
I shudder to think how some folk would survive without their mobile.
What boring lives we must have led before this invention.

Mm. . . Signs of the times I fear. When our family were here the other Boxing Day, eldest 2DGDs kept having a smeaky peek at their screens. So, when time for pud came round I texted eldest DGD "would u lime some pud?" And then just carried on serving everyone else. Suddenly she looked up and said "have you just texted me Gran?" . Oh how we larfed!!

I have no problem with children being plugged into tablets when eating out, provided they are put away when the meal arrives. Far better than them charging around out of control.

Like GrannyGravy I have a GS on 'the spectrum' and while he can cope now he's older, it was a way of shutting out all the over-stimulating noises etc. that he could not cope with when younger.

Besides tablets have their place in a child's development providing they are just one of many experienced they have, and are not to the exclusion of everything else.

I am told off sometimes for NOT answering my mobile as soon as it goes off. When I reply that my phone is not magnetically attached to me at all times and both me and my phone need a breathing space from each other sometimes, I am looked at like an alien! Some really important people out there it appears who cannot wait to have a conversation at a more suitable time. Waiting in a queue at the PO recently the woman in front of me decided it was a good time to phone someone (one person in front of her who was quickly served) this woman took her place at the counter and continued with her mobile conversation while the cashier was trying to serve her..weighing parcels and various other things and still this woman continued. I was served by the next cashier and going out of PO while this same woman was rudely carrying on her private (NOT) conversion. I think it is time that people learnt some manners when being served in places like this and showed a bit of courtesy to the person serving them and to others waiting in turn to be served. Why do people think it's ok to behave so rudely. Time a lot of places put signs up .....Please Switch Your Mobile Off.

A few weeks ago, I went out for lunch. As I waited for my food to arrive, I sat and 'people watched' to pass the time.
I observed a Family of 4, 2 Adults and 2 teenagers all on their mobiles and not a word was spoken except when they ordered their food. The whole meal was eaten in silence as they all continued to check their mobiles throughout which I found so incredibly sad.

Phew some very interesting comments here. I agree how sad it is to see little ones ignored when adults are on the phone. Seems that manners and protocols have not kept up with technology. I will endeavour to be frank with friends who find their phone more interesting than me (!) wish me luck ...

So rude!

We only have one mobile now because I keep losing mine Or breaking them. So whoever goes out takes it just in case. A friend and her husband came to visit, we had coffee and cake but the couple kept getting their phones out when it bleeped and at one point both were busy on them I just got up, indicated to my oh and went out into the garden and started doing a bit of weeding. We are still friends. Other thing, had two teenagers to stay the weekend and they were making a lot of noise at night talking so I lent out of bed, picked up my iPad and sent them a message, be quiet. They messaged back ok. Does have its uses.

Why did my comment come out purple? Bit like my washing at times.

I love this thread. I think there's a fair amount of depression among youngsters because they spend so much time online. Social media is so shallow and false and it does seem people are loosing the art of conversation and even the ability to interact face to face. Worrying. Glad I'm not young.