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Am I overreacting?

(39 Posts)
Franbern Tue 08-Aug-17 10:17:58

Can't see that sending this picture is anything to do with being bi-polar. I can understand as I also will not look at even photos of spiders, not watch them on television.
However, this is your sister - and people do have a very different idea of what constitutes a joke. Most definitely not worth breaking off your relationship with her. You are fortunate to have a sister. Keep the relationship going as long as you both can.

Eloethan Mon 07-Aug-17 23:42:18

Other than having huge "ups" and "downs", I don't know much about bi-polar disorder. Is this nastiness caused by the disorder or is it just indicative of a person with a spiteful streak? I expect someone on here has professional or personal knowledge of bi-polar disorder and may be able to answer.

It's up to you to decide whether you can cope with this sort of behaviour. Even if someone may not be wholly responsible for their behaviour because of certain mental health issues, I think*FarNorth*'s comment is right - whilst you may in your own mind "make allowances", I think rude or unkind behaviour should be challenged and it be made clear that it is unacceptable.

Jalima1108 Mon 07-Aug-17 20:26:17

She does sound rather immature

FarNorth Mon 07-Aug-17 20:16:26

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was thoughtlessness and genuinely not understanding how upset you would be, (unless she's done that type of thing before).

From all you've said, I think your sister is quite self-absorbed. Look after yourself and don't pander to her too much.
flowers

rosesarered Mon 07-Aug-17 20:04:12

I agree with wordy

wordy17 Mon 07-Aug-17 18:35:07

I don't think that you are over-reacting. I am afraid that her action with the picture may well be deliberate because there remains some sort of beef with you and the rest of the family, at least inside her head if nowhere else.

You are kind to want to re-establish contact with her but if I were you, I wouldn't expect much from her in terms of her behaviour. Look after yourself.

wildswan16 Mon 07-Aug-17 15:40:07

It was thoughtless but maybe she really doesn't understand how awful your phobia is. I wouldn't let it interrupt an already fragile relationship.

Jalima1108 Mon 07-Aug-17 15:26:25

Perhaps she doesn't understand how much just a picture can upset you. A phobia is different to not liking something.

Could you go for de-sensitization treatment (exposure therapy) if this is affecting you so much?

M0nica Mon 07-Aug-17 15:24:26

It is if you have a phobia. Tell her to act her age and not her shoe size.

mumofmadboys Mon 07-Aug-17 14:53:49

Just ignore it. Delete pic and never mention it again. In the scheme of things it's not a big thing. x

petra Mon 07-Aug-17 13:26:59

Rolande
If it were me, there wouldn't be another conversation.

NanaandGrampy Mon 07-Aug-17 11:41:05

That's just mean . I feel the same way as you about 'surprise' pictures of insects.

i really dislike people who do things like that and cloak it as a joke.

It's not big and it's not clever . I'd tell her quite calmly that it wasn't funny. Then carry on as normal. If she does it again then that's a bigger conversation.

aggie Mon 07-Aug-17 11:30:02

not a nice thing for her to do to you , she is warped !

Rolande Mon 07-Aug-17 11:22:45

Years ago had a major "falling out" with younger sister who lives miles away from me. I think she is bipolar (undiagnosed). She fell out with all members of our family, nieces, cousins including our parents when they were alive. No one speaks to her in the family. Couple of months ago I resumed contact slowly when her partner died. I've always felt sorry for her and missed "my little sister"..the nice part of her. She blows hot and cold all the time. So I try to keep pace with her and when she's in "a negative mood" I simply wait for her to resume contact. Everyone tells me I'm mad to try to resume a relationship and that I will get hurt again.
Last week she put a pic of a huge spider on Facebook. I have a phobia (yes even a pic spooks me). I told her my reaction and she took it off and then asked "what spider"..Next thing I know
she sends me same by email. I told her it wasn't kind and her reply was "its a joke". I am worried that she is either mad or bad. Or am I simply overreacting?