To think I will be going to her funeral

Oh smurf that's desperately sad, I am so sorry. She sounds like a lovely person.

My darling sister in law had breast cancer about 14 years ago. She had a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Six years later it returned and spread to her brain and bones. She died 4 years ago but oh did she fight. She was so determined to live and every day mattered so much to her. I really am sure that it was this determination which kept her going so long. I miss her so very much but I am so grateful she was in my life. I will be thinking of you and your Darling daughter in law

What a sad time for you and your family. Your daughter-in-law sounds such a lovely woman - brave and kind. It is so hard to see our loved ones battling such a cruel disease.

I lost my dad to cancer and also a SIL - she was 47. I realise, looking back, that I grieved along the way - as you are now doing.

When we lose people who are younger, grief is magnified - you grieve for yourself and for your son and extended family. And there is the added pain for feeling the need to be strong for others.

It sounds like you have a very loving and close relationship with your DIL so I hope you can make the most of seeing her and sharing special times together.

Heartfelt sympathy

My younger sister is in this position now. She has just started her fourth round of chemo and radiotherapy but it's all Just to ease pain now rather than cure anything . This time they have told her that if the side effects are bad then she is to be removed from all treatments and live a better quality of life for however long s possible. It breaks my heart ..

I am thankful that I've never been in this position but she sounds like a remarkable woman.

Life sometimes deals some horribly cruel cards.

So very sad, I'm so sorry for you all.
I hope she knows how very special she is to you? it's lovely you say she's like a daughter to you, make sure she knows. X

Sad for you Smurf just continue to love and support her as only a mum can you have a very close relationship and will be a huge comfort to her ?

Oh believe me, i have told her many times that she is the daughter i never had. Thanks all for your support and kind words. I will visit as much as i can and be there for her.

Such a sad thing to have to deal with. It's good that she knows how fond of her you are.
I have a friend who's husband is battling bone cancer and a month after he was diagnosed their daughter (20) found out she had a malignant brain tumour. She knows she hasn't got a long time ahead of her, but like your daughter-in-law she is doing as much normal stuff as she can. Heartbreaking but inspirational too.

Do try to stay positive Smurf52 (I know it must be so hard and I feel so sorry for your family) but my mum lived for over 10 years after being told she only had around 2 years left to live due to the dreaded bone C that had spread from her breast. It didn't even get her in the end. She was a kidney dialysis patient and it was her inability to continue dialysis that led her to the agonizing decision to stop.

I had googled this life expectancy thing and as you say gillybob some have lived for many more years, so here's hoping. How can the medical profession get away with giving someone a short "death sentence" when life expectancy could change due to any number of issues?

What a sad story, Smurf. As you say, to find a daughter after all those sons is wonderful - a close friend who can share your feelings better than sons, however kind the sons are.
I hope Gilly is right, and she has more years to come.
Some doctors give you the worst case scenario to be cautious when asked their opinion.

In my mums case she pressed her doctors for a life expectancy and 2 years seemed to be the "norm" for a person with a rapidly spreading bc such as hers . ( always referred to by the various specialists she saw as hot spots which I very much applauded, who really needs /wants to hear the words bone cancer spreading ?) . I think if it weren't for the kidney failure / dialysis My mum might be still here today ( she died April 2016) . I do hope that your DDiL has many many years ahead . Science is advancing and bones can be replaced these days that could never have been years ago . My mum did have several ops to replace crumbled bones which worked brilliantly .

My thoughts are with you too - she sounds a remarkable lady and your relationship is wonderful. There is cause for cautious optimism with gillybob's posts about her mum so I really hope your dil has many years left too.