Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Are you suggesting that I have fleas? Geraldine was a little flaky when she rolled in this morning

I wouldn't dare. Never crossed my mind. Have you been to the "Clinic" to get it checked ?

MARYDOLL ! What are you suggesting! Clinic? What type of clinic did you have in mind? How very dare you!

Aha! You know what I mean. You have been there before. Don't play the innocent with me. I'm the one who drove you there.

I've been all day washing glasses. They were full of mould and should be washed more than once a fortnight. No wonder you are are all lousy. The mould should cure the itch though. Must be penicillin in it. The Mayor will be calling today so clean yourselves up and your language as well. Don't keep him down in the cellar too long. I know how you like to buff up his regalia and he does keep coming back for more. The chain of office might fetch a bit at the pawn shop.

Hello all...who's in tonight? Haven't seen POGS for ages, maybe she isn't flatulent at the moment? I don't know about the patter of more little paws, there is a rat problem as it is! Still, I will knit little Geraldine some baby ferret outfits, bonnets, mittens and so on.In a selection of pink and blue.

I haven't seen the mayor for ages

That's not what I heard.

Who says I'm in the cellar with just a mop and bucket? It all goes on down there I can assure you.

Oh roses how kind of you to knit for Georgina's babies. 12 should be sufficient. And to thank you, I'll make sure that you have the pick of the litter to take home with you. In fact, have 2.
Menopaws , whilst you were down in the cellar doing God knows what with the mayor, did you happen to find a size 48 double E bra by any chance? I was using it to hold up the 2 new barrels of stout we had delivered yesterday but I need it for a hot date with Big Jim this weekend. Don't want to give him the wrong impression.

So that's what it was, thought it was a new contraption from the brewery. It's a bit stout stained and badly stretched but I'll give it a rinse then you can have it back, got any massive pants Marydoll I can use instead?

And the mayor is too fancy for me, I prefer the farmers in the village, with their slurry smelling boots and their rough hands...

Stop it Meno..... am getting too turned on!

A large espresso please, I have a busy day coming up ....... two hyperactive little 'uns arriving any time now.Will check in later for a snifter.
A kind offer Chewy ( pick of the litter ) but DH has put his foot down about any more pets, otherwise would have loved the baby ferrets ( I mean....who wouldn't ? )

Sorry, *Meno", the fleet are having an open day, with a special visit from a sailing ship. Unfortunately they needed a replacement sail and I offered my big pants.

As for Big Jim, he is sitting right beside me, and never mentioned a hot date. Chewy , you will have to curb these fantasies.

An open day? And nobody told me? !!

I could be looking around an officers cabin right now......

Open day (elbows rosesarered out of the way in my haste to get to the captain's cabin).

I have my sea bands on ready!
Where's the rum bosun? Is he serving tots yet?

Sorry guys, I am sending this from the captain's bunk. (He allowed me to sit on it to use his laptop) If you believe that, you will believe anything.
The Admiral is busy, so I thought I would amuse myself in the meantime.

Open day Mary? You kept that to yourself, are u bringing a few back for a rum later, I will clean up the joint and change into my best slutty clothes if you are

He allowed me to sit on his lap?

The Admiral is mine, I thought I had made that clear ages ago.

Wait a minute, haven't you read the previous threads?? I met him first.
Right we will get him into the café and get him to choose.
See you in the cellar, I'll just say goodbye to the Captain and I'll be there asap.

I think that Admiral's a bit of a tart - he'll go with anyone as long as there's a pint of grog in it for him! Don't be fooled, you lot.

(ha, ha little do you know I've got hm on speed-dial...)

Sorry Marydoll & Jalima, I'm afraid that the "captain " that you "think" you've been "entertaining " is, in fact, AN IMPOSTER!!!.How do I know that? Because I've been with the real Captain Mainwaring all day. He's been showing me his slip knots and tugs all day! The man that you think is the captain is only the bosons mate.

...but, but, he promised me that he is mine only! Away you hussies, gold stripes are only for us privileged few.So there!

In any case, the Admiral is taking me to a Ladies Night Naval Do tomorrow night, so please make yourselves scarce.

After which, he has told me that we will go back to the ship for a nightcap, and I can make sure all is ship shape and Bristol fashion in his cabin.