Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

That wasn't ruby port?Oh dear...you didn't try it did you? It was....

..... the "sample" lemon took from Jason. He hasnt been very well in the continence department lately and she was going to take it to the vets for analysis today but forgot. Eurgh! You didn't drink any of it did you JaneD3? ?

Panic over! I took the sample to the vet the other day, what
Jane drank was simple brown ale.Not sample brown pee.

You will be glad to know that Jason is now ok, he had just filled his doggy belly with too many tidbits from the bar customers ( especially the pickled eggs.) He is now asleep behind the bar on his new fleecy blanket, don’t fall over him.
Now, I went clothes shopping today, whaddya think of my new get up? Tasteful?
A bit of exciting news, as we need a bit of help around the place, I have engaged on our behalf, a hunk called Barry.
He will assist Big Jim ( literally I expect, when Jim is half cut) and as he used to be a bouncer, he can keep undesirables at bay.He will work for a few free drinks and a tenner on Friday nights ( our busiest time) and is keen to meet Marydoll and Chewy and Meno who’s fame has reached the Gogo a Gogo on Canal Street. That’s where Bam saw Jane10’s lovely boys, Flosswell and Ariel btw and they only go to classy joints.
Now, time for a little nightcap ( and not the type with a bell on the end of it.)What to have?? Something small, a half pint of creme de menthe please! For me nerves.?

Fabrice and Antoine have been ordered to check out the Royal Overseas Club. It's the venue for the Edinburgh GN meetup/Christmas lunch. Word has got about that some dodgy types might be infiltrating it.
Obviously, I wouldn't be able to attend unless they think it's suitable for moi.

Think I've just since Febreze and Anklesocks falling out of the Bull's Head on Mill Street, Jane10. They seemed a little the worse for wear.

Oh no. I've warned them about being free and easy in public places. They're such a worry for me. I'll maybe just have to let them go. I'd better get back in touch with that agency I got them through.

Oh no! Don't do that please Jane10! They're such lively, colourful characters and they fit in so well with the ambience of the Argy. They bring a certain je nes sais quoi. plus the Rear Admiral has his eye on them

The squealing when they get a sudden fright like catching sight of a dog larger than a chihuahua is getting on my nerves. Ideally I'd prefer personal assistants to be more like Jeeves. I'll give the 'Jobs for Boys' agency a ring tomorrow.

Oooerr, wonder who we'll get wandering into the Argy tomorrow then!

Whilst you're here, have a taste of this coffee liqueur I've made Jane10. Made myself from the dregs of the coffee machine and a couple of bottles of lemon's home made moonshine.

Sorry, I've been trying to persuade that Edinburgh lot to change their venue from the posh ROSL to the Argy, but they don't seem to be too keen. I thought * Soop" would have have given 5* reviews based on her sorties into the Argy?
It would be a pity Jane, if you sacked Calgon and Fabreze, as the Edinburgers were hoping they would provide the entertainment.

Its no use. I've given those useless boys their marching orders. There were tears and, I'm sorry to say, tantrums but they've cleared out their rooms and asked for any mail to be forwarded to Antoine's Auntie Edna.
The agency has come up trumps though and I now have a very sensible assistant Hector Carruthers. He's tidied up my office beautifully and is now filing my wardrobe in alphabetical, colour, season and size order. There will be no nonsense from Carruthers. I'm just surprised that he was available at all at such short notice.

You know Jane, that name rings a bell from somewhere, I just can't figure it out at the moment.
I am away to Google him.

Hector Carruthers? That name rings a bell....... now where have I heard of him?...........

Well that was a night to remember, Jimbo, Bazza, Anusol and Fibrosis were all on top form, my Gogo a Gogo has definitely Gone Gone and I'll just have a quick half of drambuie on my way to bed, anyone joining me?

Sorry Meno, I'm too busy researching Hector. There is something dodgy about him?

That liquid I drank deshinutly washn't brown ale. It's taken away three dayshe of my life!
Is there any more?

Could you clarify for me Menopaws, was your invitation to join you for a drambuie or to your bed? Anyway, I'd like to take you up on the former and pass on the latter, if that OK? Your night with Anusol and Fibogel sounds brilliant, I've been wanting to go to the GoGo Club for ages but Fat Willie won't take me.

I'VE GOT IT! I know where I've heard of Hector Carruthers! This is him!

Not a bad looker though, so forgive him for doing time Jane especially if he sorts all your wardrobe out ( just keep an eye on your jewellery box)?

JaneD ?hmmm, well, perhaps I did take the wrong sample to the vet, maybe that was simple brown ale and you actually did have the sample brown pee.No, there isn’t any more just at the moment, come back in the morning.

Eurgh! lemon! You just cannot keep leaving Jackson's urine samples in bottles behind the bar! This is the 3rd time someone's drunk it and got hammered! on the other hand, we could sell it

It’s all the brandy he keeps licking up from the floor, there is a puddle of it behind the bar ( Marydoll keeps knocking the bottle over.....after she has knocked back a few) my, that woman has iron insides and such stamina ( according to Barry.)

Who is Barry? He told me his name was Hector?

Do keep up Marydoll! Barry ( aka Bazza) is our new help on Friday nights in the bar.Hector ( aka Hezza) is Jane10’s new ‘help’ around her house.?