Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Marydoll Dishy singer ^Alexey Gusev is on the island of Islay at the mo' He's in demand. If you can make it to Benderloch for Sat 21st or Langholm Tuesday 24th or Greenock on Thurs 26th or Kilbride on Sat 28th ...with a bit of luck, he may join you for cocktails. Mind you, there's a hell of a long queue when he's finished performing. Have I said that he's dishy? You bet!

I've looked him up! Good looking and that Russian/Scottish accent!!!

Marydoll As for his voice...I was hypnotised. Or, as one Scottish friend might say... praps best left unsaid. I don't want the Caff to get a bad name.

Chewy I'm with you. What's happened to the Argy??!

Och aye the noo, it will still be the same old Argy! I was seduced by a dishy guy. I'm not sophisticated enough to mingle in Soops cultured circles. ..But a girl can still dream.
By the way where is Lemongrove? I have a bone to pick with her.... my Walnut Brown sherry is missing.

Hiya Pals! What a relief to come through the doors of the good old Argy! Was lured into the Wolf Pack Pub down the road. Some experience! You have to "fit right in" down there to feel at home and let me tell you, I was not popular at all. Still I gave as good as I got!!
Let's have a pint Drambuie Shandy to settle in! I've been looking after Jethro for Lemon, he's happy to be back home, couldn't even get him through the front door of other place. He's a sensitive, wise old thing.
Ahhhh!!!! Happy days!!!!! Feet up in front of fire!

Hi there, am back from a few days at sea how’s it all going here?
Thanks Bambam for looking after Jason, he’s a good dog as long as you feed him properly( he likes peanuts, pigs ears and eton mess.)?
Yes, Marydoll well, it’s a long story ( about the walnut sherry) but, to cut a long story short....... it’s all gone.
What are our profits like this week, loads of customers?

I don't know what has happened, but we seem to have negative equity. We have had hardly any clients cutomers.
You must be the "pull", Lemongrove, hopefully things will pick up now that you are back.
It's just dawned on me, with whom were you at sea? I hope it wasn't the Admiral!!! . Not only did you snaffle my out of date sherry, you stole MY man into the bargain. You really are a bold piece. In fact you are becoming as bad as the rest of them. I'm so disappointed in you. I thought you were a good time gal.
I hope Soop doesn't become corrupted by all your antics.

Now wait a doggone minute ( pulls tiny self up to full height of five foot nothing) I am a respectable woman Marydoll
And only go to sea with my own men, not those belonging to other people!
Actually, the Captain and me and Big Jim had a wonderful few days.?

So that's where BIG Jim disappeared to!!

Wrong! Big Jim has been with moi! And there's no point you two go out looking for him because he's exhausted. ?

Ooooh, what a whopper Chewy ( as the actress said to the Bishop) you know darn well that Big Jim, moi and the Captain have a menagerie in Troy ?( please, applause, that was my best joke yet!)

In your dreams Lemon! Big Jim and me have spent a heavenly few days at Wigan Pier looking at canal barges; coal scuttles and cloth caps. He's a down to earth chap, what would he want with a menagerie? He hates animals!

Now, now girls. Plenty of men to go around. Well, we're such "lookers" men are falling all over themselves to be "friendly" with us.
Let's all settle down with a nice drinky poo and have a good old Argy chinwag!

For myself, I was detained by that Chief Inspector who snapped off my suspender button when we was all thrown in the clink the other night. I've told him not to raid the Argy anymore as Male Strippers and the like are our human rights.

Bam bam I hate to tell you but there isn't a fire at the caff but i think Marydoll has been smoking her pipe again so maybe she was warming your feet. Lemon probably bought back some extra strong baccy from her trip, hence all the smoke

I thought that I was feeling a bit woozy, and only had half a dozen Drambuies. Mary with her whaky-baccy again is it. Oh yes I can see her now in the corner curled up with Jason in a cloud of smoke.
Is that dog ok??! His eyes are very crossed!!

A selfie! Don't I scrub up well?

Yep there's your real fire. Perhaps we should get a wood burner for the winter

Wow Marydoll, no wonder you're fighting the men off with a stick! I think a woodburner would be a brilliant idea Menopaws. We can get rid of "evidence" so much more efficiently than trying to flush it down the loo. And we can burn lemon's cast off wooden clogs in it for cheap fuel.

If we burn the evidence we will all be stoned...what a party!! As long as the Admirals wooden leg doesn't get thrown in by mistake

Bit of Gossip for you all!!!
Was down in the Gay Village the other night with my friend Robin who does my roots. When who should be coming out of the
Gogo a Gogo on Canal street but Fibogel and Anusol, well, I hardly recognised them under those huge wigs, false eyelashes and sequined frocks. Very glam! They've gone into into the entertainment industry as singers. I told them they might be good for our Speciality Act. They said "speak to our Manager" and who should pop out from behind them but Big Jim! Interesting!!

?

Is the Caff closed tonight? Where is everyone?
I hope there isn't a secret shindig!

It does seem quiet but I think some have gone on a charabanc trip on another thread - now that feels pretty surreal! Or is it the large quantity of ruby port I found behind the bar?