Have you put your dreams on hold?

My wife and I had a similar dream but we downsized to live within 90 minutes of our two daughters and both sets of our grandkids. Our son and his wife still have no kids and have yet to settle down.

But one of our daughters then said she thought we should have bought a smallholding with animals so her three could spend long summer holidays with us!

Perhaps we should have consulted our kids more on what they wanted.

When our grandkids grow up we may settle for a static caravan where we can hear the waves.

Aaah haaaa Eglantine Not all stretches of beautiful coastline are down south you know . Where I live there are very few holiday homes (except for a lovely little site of static caravans) . We are virtually all permanent residents. We do get a lot of day trippers in the summer months but it's very quiet in the winter. Just the way I like it.

Oh dear, I hope that what I'm contributing here doesn't bring you down - but DH and I moved down to the seaside in 2005 and the first five years were great. Both of us had jobs which we didn't love but without a lotto win we had to subsidise ourselves somehow. We had a little bungalow with a super garden - the type we'd always dreamed of, with climbing roses, honeysuckle, etc - it was lovely.
I've lots of good memories but my DH was diagnosed with motor neurone disease. This knocked us sideways and was the worst time of our lives with DH passing away only nine months after diagnosis. However the SW is the best place to live with this devastating illness as the help there is tremendous.
I moved back to the Midlands due to illness and am nearer family -I had to make that choice - place or people. I look back on that time by the sea as special but bittersweet.

Gillybob, you sound a really nice person to know with such a great sense of humour. How lovely the sea brings out your sensitivity. I live in Norfolk half an hour from wonderful beach. Obviously would LOVE to live a stones throw from it but go as often as possible. I come back feeling so refreshed after a walk by the sea. Last year we went 4am on Summer Solstice. Absolutely no one there so I stripped off and danced on the beach. Hope no one had binoculars?

I was born by the sea and lived there till I married. We watched lots of Londoners coming to live their dream of retiring by the sea only to realise that the seaside in winter is not the same as the seaside in summer!
I would recommend hiring an out of season holiday home from November to March and see how you like it! If it's an area with second homes you may find its almost empty with shut down facilities in the Winter. The locals can't afford to live there any more because of second home owners!

I am very lucky as my DS and his family live about 4 miles along the coast and my DD, dad and sister all live within a few miles .

Sounds idyllic LouLou . I love beach huts.

No I have not put my dreams on hold, I never had any big dreams other than to see my family happy and settled.
When I want to walk along a beach I go to gilly's beach because it is beautiful and the cobwebs get blown away.

I too live by the sea we have access to the promenade directly from our home and can see the sea just a few metres away from our garden. We moved here three years ago and I will never want to be anywhere else, we also have a beach hut just five minutes away more for when the grandchildren visit than anything but I quite often find myself there for a few hours in the afternoon with a cup of tea, so if you can't live by the sea get a beach hut it's the next best thing.

Oh I have lost count of the number of people who moved to be near their kids then the kids moved. Armed with that proxy experience we have decided to stay right where we are which is where we brought the kids up - before they all moved away to other cities. It actually works quite well as we are a handy London base for them when they come.

Any chance you could afford a caravan or cabin? These for example are right on the coast and are very secluded and a bit quirky. But loads of choice around (& range of budgets). Would allow you to spend extended time near the sea but still live near family.

churchwoodvalley.com

Acceptance and finding something good in every day equals living the dream I feel. I love the sea, lived next to it for a couple of years but like many others here, the most important thing is family, so we still live in the house our children grew up in.
If I hadn't been lucky enough to have children and children who returned to this area when they 'settled down' I'd have moved to the coast. I love holidays near the sea, driving to the nearest (not very lovely) seaside in the winter, when dogs are allowed on the beach. A long, often very breezy walk along the coast, followed by fish n chips, that's living the dream

Yes Bbevan I have lots of jars of sea glass on a little ledge going up the stairs. It does look lovely when the sunlight from the window at the top catches it . I also have a huge pot of it in my dining room which is so heavy you can hardly lift it. My DGC enjoy tipping it out sometimes and searching for their favourite piece of treasure.

Same for me Anya,

We retired to live in the Lake District. None of our children are settled yet. We had to move when we retired as we lived in a tied house. This was our dream and we love it. I never thought retirement would be such fun!

Like Anya I have found that acceptance is the key to living well .
No more dreams that won't come true, no unreal expectations and no regrets.

I don't have dreams like that anymore. I just accept and enjoy all the little things that happen on a day by day, or week by week, basis. So long as nothing else dreadful happens then I'm content.

Anyway the grass is always greener isn't it?

I live and work in London, but when I'm by the sea my daily problems seem tiny in comparison with its vastness. The

gillybob I too collect sea glass and now have a big glass pot of it. It is on a windowsill in the conservatory, and when the sun shines through it it is glorious. I have spent many happy hours searching the tide line for it. One of the lesser known bonuses of living by the sea.

I live in the North East on the most beautiful stretch of coastline devongirl but couldn't be much further away from either Devon or Brighton . We are a hardy lot up here as the weather can be quite "bracing" . My beach has the most perfect Golden sand but boy the North Sea is {{freeeeezzzzzzing}}

I do recommend living beside the sea though. Walking on the beach gives me the most wonderful sense of calm most of the time although sometimes it makes me feel tearful????? Not sure why. A sense of loss? Longing? I'm not sure. I spend a lot of time collecting sea glass and drift wood. I think I would find it quite hard to live further inland now.

gilly, can I ask where you live? Coming up to retirement in a couple of years, and I'm hoping to move to the coast after growing up near the sea and at uni living in Brighton - can't wait! I won't know anyone there but feel I can get to know people through e.g. U3A (and I've seen how people just disappear off the radar at work when they retire, and that's where most of my friends are..)

After posting I spoke to my dh about this dream of mine...it will be tight but we are searching now however he would like it to be a second home...my dream is it must have an inglenook fire ...which we have...and a red hall wooden door that we can now have here....I am still dreaming of the ocean....if it does not pass I am hoping for next summer in Martha's Vineyard....I have always been a dreamer but I guess I'm not the only one..hope someday you will join me and the world can live as one!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it strange how many of our dreams involve living by the sea?

We were actively exploring the possibility of moving to the Welsh coast when DD announced that she was pregnant. It was game over then. Neither of us could countenance being hundreds of miles away from the grandchild we had spent years quietly hoping for, and all but given up on! It has been a good decision.

As Dumbledore said in one of the Harry Potter books - "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live".

I have had dreams - none of which ever happened or is likely to happen - but I've always tried to be content with my situation at the time and that seems to have worked pretty well for me.

I play the "win the lottery game" MawBroon where I dream I won the lottery and bought DS and DDiL a small holding, my DD a coffee shop of her own and my DH can retire. Then...... I bloomin' well wake up.