Oh I have loved reading all your stories. I suppose if there is a moral to this thread its perhaps...try to be happy if possible with your present circumstances. I am not unhappy but I really YEARN to live by the sea and walk on a beach every day. I feel such peace at the water's edge, I don't know why, and I find sea breezes very invigorating.
My SIL bought a static caravan on a park in Wales last year and we visited them at Easter time. I loved the caravan but I have to say I'm not a clubhouse sort of person, although the children racing about did seem to be having fun! They mentioned charges, which seemed quite steep and also that they'd have to move the van after a certain amount of time. It didn't seem as hassle free as I imagined. They have quite a drive to get there and can't stay for long periods because they have a cat at home to look after. The neighbours pop in and feed him, but that's just a short term arrangement. We have a be!over cat too, so impromptu breaks are limited.
I do feel torn. I want to be near my family. I worry about my children for various reasons. However, I am so conscious of the clock ticking. I'd really really like the opportunity to " break free" and do my own thing, and yes, maybe strip off and dance on the beach at dawn if the mood took me! That made me laugh!
I feel tied in a way. I love my family dearly but would love not to have to think about them and worry about them.
Another dream I have is for complete seclusion, short term. I think going on a retreat, alone, might do me good. It wouldn't be a religious one, but perhaps a spiritual or crafty one. I investigated those a while ago, and considering some of them packed you off for a silent walk in the woods in the morning then expected communal vegetable soup making later, for lunch, they were charging heck of a lot of money..
Looks like I might have to scale down my dreams...In truth, I am not quite sure what would make me really happy. Whilst being grateful for my lot, I do feel quite stuck.