My man annoys me, quite a lot!

I live alone and the rest of you seem to be involved in a complicated man share..........for all the falling asleep and driving you mad, you don't half miss them when they'e gone.

My husband has his 'man cave'in one of the spare bedrooms.He plays his music, goes on line to play games and generally messes about with electrical cables and anything to do with IT He goes up there every evening after our evening meal, during the day we potter around together or one of us may go out, me to play bowls or meet friends or family, him to stroll to town to visit the bank and poundland his favourite shop!!! We sleep in seperate rooms too as he stays up later than me and rises later, i am up with the lark and go to bed earlier, i dont sleep well, so often put the light on at 2 or 3 o'clock to read. THis life suits as both very well. We seldom fallout and if we do we gravitate to our own space till things calm down and we are friends again.

Are you sure you haven't stolen my husband (ha, ha)! Mine is just the same, as are most of my friends husbands. Its a case of Venus and Mars. It used to irritate me, but remaining independent and having our own interests..more than helps us to muddle along together. He's a good person...but when it comes to everyday life, snoring in front of the TV etc...grrrrrr!

I hate that bloody song

Remember Hilary Clinton calling her Tammy Whine-ette when Bill was demonstrating no loss of testosterone?

Day6...... think I may be married to your DH's long lost twin!

And what is it about husbands that they fall asleep watching tv all the time?

My DH is always, and has always been busy. Which I s one of the reasons we moved. But I spend a lot of time looking for him,and as his hearing is not what it was my whistle ( lips ) is often ignored
He does his thing ,I mine and lots together. Lovely

I thought when I retired we would go out and about together , some chance ! We managed to go for lunch after the grocery shop a few times , but the sighs mounted and I had to give up . Then we just drifted along . We joined a seniors club , actually were the founders and I was quite enjoying it , we weren't the youngest nor the oldest ,but suddenly he decided he wasn't interested so I now go on my own . He enjoyed Whist , but I was told I wasn't good enough player to go with him ! We joined a Bowling club , great fun , but he was bored ........ anyway you get the picture ........ now he is poorly and can't get out . Sometimes it gets me down , but I pay a carer , and eldest Grandson to keep him company while I get out , but I am always on edge in case something goes wrong , at least he is still here and we are watching the golf together

Cardiffjaguar
Should not life in retirement be a life of the unplanned?
For how many years are we ruled by the clock.
Then suddenly we can sit back and take time to be different. We are free. Rome wasn't built in a day. If one wants to spend all day reading a book who is to say the other should do the same or object. To each his own
One doesn't need to have a board meeting and if you have managed to survive the first forty years then the rest should be a piece of cake allowing for a few stale bits along the way.

Kyliemay
I do not believe a reduction in testosterone levels is always the cause of the way men behave in later life
One only has to observe the amount of celebs in their later life who change partners and not always to half their age.
If you were to have the same dinner everyday you would soon lose your appetite.Make it more interesting then you get back your appetite.
Don't we take each other for granted.I dislike the saying familiarity breeds contempt but life can lack interest and be boring to the point where snoring in front of the TV becomes the norm. Are we not ourselves responsible in some ways for what has become a boring man? To hell with the DIY does that room really need decorating today? lets go away for the weekend the room can wait. No it doesn't have to be a five*** and have been planned months ago.

My dear hubby used to fall asleep when we were courting, even in company! Nothing has changed in 49 years! I just make sure the tv remote is out of his hand before he nods off. I never disturb him as this frees up time for me (how selfish of me)!
Yes, he also irritates me, but I put up with it, as I must irritate him too (but I'm sure not as much)! Ooh! How I could go on - I've thought of the bliss of living alone, but there's always a BUT and a WHAT IF?
Long term marriages are worth holding onto, till death us do part and all that!

What irritates me is that he sprawls on the sofa instead of sitting, and often falls asleep. Then I remind myself how much he's done that day (including cooking the supper as often as not) and like most of you I'm grateful for what I have that many others don't

Retirement is always a challenge that is never quite the same for everyone. There are some problems that seem to be common, and suddenly being 'on top of each other' despite room in the home is one. What was me time for one partner is now being intruded upon. The retiree is at a loss what to do and gets in the way. A new pattern of interaction is needed otherwise problems develop. There are two problems that need to be dealt with and it took my wife and I months to find a balance.

First is how to fill all that free time the retiree now has. Second is the disruptance caused by the retiree in the home. Seems simple doesn't it but in practice it is far from being so and many of you know all too well.

Discussion and patience are the ways forward. Do not let it fester.

Day6 I know exactly where you are coming from. We haven't retired yet, have a few more years to go but at the moment I have mixed feelings about whether I want to retire and be at home together. Love husband to bits too but he has the annoying habyof falling asleep a lot, especially in the evenings after dinner. It makes it difficult to watch anything on the TV and when I turn the channel over or the volume up he stirs and says he's watching it (I can't understand how he can be asleep whilst watching something) I have to remind myself of all his good points and not focusing on the falling asleep. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has this issue

Alima
I defy anybody not to be singing that in their head for the rest of the day!
#curseofthemawbroon

We have a tv in a bedroom which is a life saver as we like different stuff. If you re together all day I think it's fine to have an hour or two separate for a programme. I also have a designated day I meet friends and walk with them then a coffee, and he does his own thing each Tuesday when I'm out. It works for us. U could also have a designated day to do something together, e.g. Lunch out, cinema, etc .

How many of us can say we have not been there, and again for many unless they have lost DH, are still there.
For me, as time went on, it was you in your corner and me in mine and we had, apart from living in the same house, separate lives. It was not an ideal situation but apart from completely separating, stupid at our time of life, we plodded on. I believe you are much younger in your outlook on life, and how it should be when in retirement, than your DH and far from telling you to do what I did do what you want and let DH continue at his own pace. I now know I would rather have my DH, warts and all, than the emptiness I now live in.

Maw Broon it will never be time for THAT song!

Oh gosh, I've just read these posts and how it strikes a chord. DH gave up work many, many years ago because of his mental ill health. I worked 2 days a week until just over 3 years ago. I thought we'd be out and about on our bus passes (we no longer have a car, he's never driven). But no, we haven't been anywhere and for the last couple of years he's had big problems with his diabetic feet and recently had a second operation. Mentally he doesn't want to go out/fears going out, has no hobbies apart from amassing a pipe collection and spends all his time outside smoking his pipe. I hardly see him - I'm out and about quite a lot, fortunately he doesn't begrudge me my interests - but in spite of interests and friends I'm increasingly finding life difficult and a chore and a grind. I do everything - gardening, shopping, DIY, sorting out problems, housework, cooking, tidying up after him, he doesn't do anything apart from putting out the bins. Medical appointments sometimes more than once a week. The fridge is opposite the sink in our long narrow kitchen so just as I'm busy at the sink/oven he'll decide he needs to go in the fridge or wants me to make another cafetiere. Talk about getting under my feet. Then there's the pipe ash - although he smokes it outside he comes in with it sometimes and drops ash. He just doesn't understand my wish for a nice tidy house, he says it looks lived in. Oh dear, I feel guilty writing this. He thinks the world of me and says umpteen times a day how he couldn't manage without me and how much he appreciates me but I do feel drained physically and emotionally. I think I'd better stop now! And I actually feel better for reading all the posts and getting this off my chest.

Time for this I think?

g.co/kgs/GNdCuv

???

I well remember a conversation between my sister and I. We were moaning about our DHs . A friend was nearby. She had been a widow for several years. She said " At least you have one" Put it all into perspective really

That's another cringe inducing word! I could have quite happily shot my OH yesterday. What did he do you ask yourselves. He only went and put the back door key in the lock from the inside which meant I couldn't get back in. Idiot!

I have a friendly acquaintance who, if I see her, asks 'How's hubby?'
Grrr, she knows his name perfectly well.

My OH definitely annoys me sometimes. (There is no way I could refer to him as "my man", I find that phrase totally cringe worthy. Old fart, old git, old chap or even sometimes his name, they will do nicely). I dare say I get up his nose too on the odd occasion but as we have been married for 41 years on Monday the unannoying times must trump the annoying times. Don't get me started on telly habits, what with every sport known to man as well as any crappy American sci fi or spy thing we rarely sit and watch tv together. Did watch Bake Off together and now they've gone and lost it, doh! Anyway, who am I to judge, he has a terminal illness and can spend his time as he wants, that will include bowls again now that his hip replacement has settled in.

I just wish he would let me get a whole sentence out without INTERRUPTING ME!!

He just did it again: he asked a question, I was answering, he interrupted - I said 'will you let me finish speaking?' He said 'you never finish speaking'.
So I did and he asked why I didn't finish answering his question.

Is it me?

Mine irritates me too. Not all the time just sometimes. This morning he was going out and asked me to iron him a shirt. I ironed quite a few things while he had a shower. He came downstairs and said "did you make me a cup of coffee"? I said he hadn't asked for one. He said he would have expected me to know he wanted one. (He had already had coffee and toast made by me earlier) Honestly I blame the full moon. He can be so bloody minded when there's a full moon!