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Do I look that decrepit ?

(40 Posts)
NanKate Mon 03-Jul-17 19:21:41

I went on a tour round a National Trust House today with a friend. One of the staff came over to me and said 'there are plenty of seats for you to sit on around the house'. Admittedly I am not 100% at present but I didn't think I looked that bad.

I should have asked if they had a defibrillator to hand grin

maddy629 Wed 05-Jul-17 06:34:39

I think it is nice to be offered a seat on a bus or train, I belong to The National Trust and I have never been offered a seat in any of their places, not that I need it but it would be nice. I don't look decrepit, at least my husband, who has good eyesight, says I don't.

pollyperkins Tue 04-Jul-17 18:35:05

I always accept when offered a seat (unless someone frailer looking is standing nearby!) I think it's good to encourage good manners even if our pride is hurt (which it is!)
I remember long ago as a schoolgirl offering my seat on the bus to what I thought was an elderly man, as I had been taught. He refused and was obviously very offended. I was very confused and it put me off offering for a long time. I can see his viewpoint now!

LuckyDucky Tue 04-Jul-17 18:17:09

Hi all

I understand Chewbacca feeling miffed but, I thought
there were no good manners as a rule, from the public at large.

To those who are unhappy with they were treated, try to be happy someone thought of your needs first.

Isn't it nice to vent at/with people of similar ages
and experience smile]

BoboGran Tue 04-Jul-17 17:58:14

I was standing in crowded bus in Bath when I noticed an old lady just in front of me.....she looked frail and unwell and I wished someone would stand up for her....then a young man did stand up and offered his seat...not to her but to Me! I was so surprised I sat down .

lindiann Tue 04-Jul-17 17:11:25

I was upset when paying my Bus Fare the driver asked if I had a pass No only 58 sad

Conni7 Tue 04-Jul-17 15:44:19

At 35, when after being widowed I was getting married again and looking for an outfit, the shop assistant said: "Are you the bride's mother?" How old must I look now?

grannylyn65 Tue 04-Jul-17 15:06:46

I often get offered a seat, I have learned to grin and accept!!!

Marianne1953 Tue 04-Jul-17 14:55:34

NT always say about the chairs you can sit on because they don't want you on the antique furniture. If anyone offers me a seat, I embrace it as it doesn't happen very often

VIOLETTE Tue 04-Jul-17 14:33:21

Ha ha ! think we need a defibrillator in our tax office ....the shock of how much we owe is tooooooo much !

On the other hand, I broke my femur when I was about 62 and had one of those walking frames ...it was WONDERFUL ...fit young men would carry my shopping to the car ...open doors for me, chat to me whilst they helped me across the road (I didn't need it, but hey, who is going to refuse !) it was so lovely I am seriously thinking about getting the frame out of storage again .....grin

Coco51 Tue 04-Jul-17 14:29:27

Oh dear, how we see ourselves. I was waiting for a bed in hospital recently and a nurse brought a sandwich to me, which for the life of me I couldn't open. A lovely young lady beside me saw me struggling and offered help - then I realised at 65 how old I must seem.

Jalima1108 Tue 04-Jul-17 13:06:33

Oh dear NanKate the same thing has happened to me a few times.

DH has a friend who never fails to point out helpfully that I am still hobbling months after I broke my ankle.

Hope you feel better soon

JanaNana Tue 04-Jul-17 12:51:24

The nice thing here though is knowing that there are still a lot of good hearted people willing to give up a seat or point out the seating areas, (however misguided) they may be regarding age. My memorable moment came when I was only 42 and became a first time grandmother (still working, very active etc) and my MiL asking me and my husband ...how are you enjoying your old age! Oh dear she was never the most articulate person at the best of times and obviously recognised it was another stage in our lives. She was diagnosed with dementia a few years later and I do wonder if some of her odd expressions were a lead up to this.

Lillie Tue 04-Jul-17 12:39:57

On the whole commuters on the tube are very good at offering their seats. I like to think it's because I have so many shopping bags they want me out of their way! And yes, I play games with myself guessing whether I'm the oldest or the fattest! (Most Londoners are young and slim!) grin

silverlining48 Tue 04-Jul-17 12:22:55

When i was a young first time mum i dressed myself up a bit,
Put some lipstick on, did my hair and went off down to the town, pushing baby girl in pram, feeling happy.
A lady walked by, stopped to admire the baby and said 'what a beautiful granddaughter you must be very proud'. I was 26.
I was too shocked to say a word. A long time ago but not forgotten.

RosemarySuperager Tue 04-Jul-17 12:18:36

doubly taxing no doubt!

starlily106 Tue 04-Jul-17 12:12:31

Recently I was asked by a woman on the bus to give her my seat. "After all, I'm a lot older than you". I stood up, she sat down. Then she announced to all and sundry "I'm turned 70 now". I had to smile, because tomorrow I will be 80. Not in the best of health myself, but didn't really mind giving up my seat, as she maybe had health problems herself which I didn't know about.

Romymo Tue 04-Jul-17 11:43:53

Gladdened to hear that some people are kind enough to give up their seat. I always accept whenever one is offered!

Kim19 Tue 04-Jul-17 11:26:19

I always accept the offer of a seat on public transport because I wish to encourage the practice which, in my experience, is rapidly dying out. Interestingly, I have sometimes vacated my seat for a less able person - it's kind of spontaneous (and I'm ancient) - which has resulted in someone younger reciprocating. I always remember whilst in Canada many years ago my husband enquiringly about the qualifying age for senior validity. He only just complied and the ticket lady 'assumed' and gave us two concessionary tickets. I was 9 years his junior and said nothing in the interests of sheer peeve! Maybe the young lady in question was ultra perceptive and just being kind? Better that than the reverse but..... I know what you mean!

minxie Tue 04-Jul-17 11:20:46

I was expecting the gas man and he knocked on the door and asked if my mum was in. I said hang on I'll give her a ring and find out. I was in my mid thirties at the time. Well chuffed

Candelle Tue 04-Jul-17 11:06:43

Everything was 'good' (a la Mr Trump) until a few years ago: until then it was assumed that I was my grand-children's mother (and on one occasion, my daughter's sister) and I was always asked at hospital visits 'when was your last period'. I felt very smug.

However, all of the above comments have ceased and I am now always recognised as a grandma, so old-age has caught up with me. Boo hoo.

nipsmum Tue 04-Jul-17 11:05:36

When I was married and had just had my first daughter, a ?salesperson knocked at the door to our flat. I answered the door with the baby in my arms and was asked, Is your mother in ? To which I very quickly replied I am the mother. I was 26 at the time. Some people dont really look at you they just assume things especially age.

KatyK Tue 04-Jul-17 11:04:48

Oh dear! Some of these stories. When I was working and was about 45, thinking I lookekd good, a young chap at work said to me 'you can't be far from retiring' Grrr

Antonia Tue 04-Jul-17 10:54:25

My mother was an 'older mum' and she never got over taking me out and people telling me, "how lovely to be going out with your granny."

inishowen Tue 04-Jul-17 10:47:39

The worst thing said to me was when I'd just turned 50. DH and I went out for a meal and the young waitress asked if we were there for the pensioners special! I was devastated!

Derek100 Tue 04-Jul-17 10:47:21

If you really want to know, post a photo on here. Not that visual looks are as important as personality.