Why has my French dressing stopped working?! Is it Brexit?

Maybe it should be called Britannia Dressing- Oh no image of woman on back of coins getting into helmet and robes suddenly occurred to me

I have been up all night experimenting as this has worried me greatly.

All British ingredients as MawBroon suggested - plus your wild garlic.
Place in a strong and stable container (not a Thermos, aren't they German? - possibly a vintage Aladdin vacuum flask).

Then throw off a cliff, preferably the White Cliffs of Dover. It will either emulsify perfectly or will smash to smithereens on the rocks below.

There's lemon and garlic in them recipes as well Jalima1108 Now I know we have wild garlic growing here, but it is regarded as a weed isn't it? As for wild lemons????.

Apologies to any Francophiles. Picture the scene.
A greasy spoon cafe in Dover, post Brexit. Waitress with fag hanging out of mouth shoves plate on table in front of French customer.
"What eez zis, s'il vous plais?
"Fenkel in Soppes, mate. You asked for something typically English”.
"Do you 'ave anything else?"
What abaht Spit Roast, then?"
"Eez it cook on a spit?"
"No, it's a roast. With spit on it." She leans forward menacingly. "If we don't like the look of you, you get extra spit!"
He pales. "Excuse me, I 'ave to go to ze mens room!" Flees for the gents and makes his escape through he toilet window and heads toute suite for the Channel Tunnel!

I found some Anglo-Saxon recipes that might be suitable post-Brexit - however the salad dressing contains olive oil!
nvg.org.au/documents/other/anglosaxonrecipes.pdf

I suppose the Angles and Saxons were German migrants anyway

No no, please don't ask me to smuggle, or even decoy, trisha . I'd be pathetic. When I'm nervous I just go into auto-mouth and I'd blab everything before anyone even asked me. Hmmm - renaming dressing after Brexit: tricky, that. British Dressing sounds a bit Kenneth Williams. Particularly with limp lettuce

I'm good at that but DH is even better.

What is it about us?
Don't answer.

You can be the 'decoy' gran, keep them occupied whilst the rest of us slip through with our contraband!

Zut alors!! Pas moi!!

I am the woman who always get searched at customs.
I have that guilty look

I'm thinking of setting up a smuggling operation after we are Brexited. Grans will be recruited to bring in such delicacies as olive oil and Dijon mustard, hidden in their suitcases after bus trips to EU countries.

Salad cream, not dressing!

Ach nein! Not the verdammte Germans getting in on our salad dressing!

I like my salad drizzled with just olive oil - is there no hope for me?

Do we grow olives in Blighty?
Do I have to plant my own tree?

I think that English salad dressing is just called Salad Cream (leave out the Heinz bit, too European!).

May I say in the nicest possible way you're all quite mad. What a terrific thread. Witty and fun from start to finish. More please..........

Well, the French could do with a dressing down, saucy people!

I do hope this dressing will be re-named as well-we can't have "French" when we are Brexited- something more suitable must be found.

Alima of course you can!

Bah, we need an edit button. 'Beat', not 'best'.

That's the thing, we need English dressing. I would have sworn I have no illegal immigrants lurking in my larder, but since the stuff won't stay strong and stable who knows. I have decided to try: a liberal dose of Cotswold rapeseed oil, conservative quantities of Somerset apple cider vinegar, a splodge if independently produced local whole grain mustard, salt from the salt mines of Cheshire and a jamjar that previously held slow gin, all combined through a hefty amount of labour to best it all together. Now if that doesn't work, I give up, I can't quite bring myself to buy it ready made Violette , it goes against the (whole) grain, so will go naked ( or at least, my salad will).

Bilingual, translations? We are Brexiting, we need nothing but English!

Greyduster Very impressed with your bilingual ability. May we call on you for help with any future translations required please?

The ants have emigrated to the conservatory.

Well there you are it's one of those French mustards trying to sneak across before we Brexit. And it doesn't even want to do the job properly! I'm a bit worried about the cherries as well, you aren't hiding illegal immigrants are you?
Clean cupboards