Should I stay

Do you ever go out on your own - say with girl friends ?

Lead him by the hand and go for a walk - gives you both good exercise and a chance for a chat

If all else fails, how about you have an affair ? You may enjoy the attention that it brings - plus all the extra stimulation !

I have had great success with "IllicitEncounters"
When you sign up - with a safe email email address - you will be bombarded with sleazy offers, but once you dismiss the timewasters and toy-boys you may be pleasantly surprised !
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From the other side of the fence, I love watching sport and my husband doesn't. I have a TV by my computer where I am working most of the time, and watch it on there, so he has the use of the main TV and one in his summerhouse to watch whatever he likes, and we watch some programmes together if they are what we both like. We do go out and about together so it's not a problem for us, although I'm sure he would prefer it if I wasn't into sport so much!

If your only differences are about the tv and sport etc, then that can be worked on and improved. You have every right to assert yourself . Lots of good suggestions above. But I feel there might be more to it than this. If you are really unhappy then do something about it. Marriage does not necessarily have to be for ever. You can make a fresh start, - I did after 32 years of marriage and never regretted it.

Ooh, double good luck

Oh bettyboo you are the person who is responsible for your own happiness, no one else. If you want a different kind of life make it happen. Start gently and do something for yourself. You never know it might shock him and encourage him to try something else. And next time you're on holiday bloody book the trips and if he won't go, tough! you u go without him. Good luck, take small steps and good luck

He would get the hump oh blimey is it worth it

It does sound as though he is controlling. What would be the worst thing to happen if you did join a club and went dancing on your own?

Hi thanks for replys yes he has always been like this it's just the cricket thing has got worse and I know it's not just about TVs it's the lack of things we have in common I used to love dancing and going out and now there's none of that years ago for instance we went to Greece what did he do sat and read a book every day wouldn't go swimming with me left it to let to book any trips out so we went nowhere . And no he wouldn't like it if I joined clubs and went dancing in my own ?

I agree about the control issue. It's time to take things into your own hands and find some outside interests, enjoy yourself and maybe your husband will want to join in time. As a soap fan myself and I make no apologies, make yourself a comfortable space somewhere with your own TV and relax .

Try to go for counselling together. Sounds like this has much more going on than just differing preferences for TV programmes...

Bettyboo 22 I know how you feel! I've had the same problem and I resulted in having a tv and armchair in dining room so I can watch what I like. In fact I'm dreading the next couple of weeks as it will be wall to wall Wimbledon! I shall just go out and enjoy myself. Life is too short to be a couch potato. We occasionally have an afternoon out but only if there's no sport on tv. Rosesarered has hit the nail on the head, that is exactly what happens in my house. I try to be sociable at weekend evenings and sit with him, but he chooses what to watch, usually a film, then he falls asleep holding the remote. So if it's a rubbish film I can't even change channels without waking him up. Frustrating, but DH has his good points so not a reason to leave him. I guess there is more to Bettyboo's marital problems than just the tv.

My husband can also endlessly watch sport on telly when he is "resting" (he is not retired and works hard plus does gardening plus DIY). Some of the commentators drive me nuts so guess what ... I moan and he changes the channel. Or I push off and sit elsewhere and knit, faff on GN or I cook or bake. Do my own thing in other words.

We do have "house rules" though e.g. the TV isn't on all day. Heaven forbid.

Sorry no new ideas!

Yes, stay with him if you still love him, but get rid of the TV! A TV-free life is liberating, believe me. I refused to get one when I left my ex although he tried to persuade me that I couldn't live without it - wrong!! Join U3A, volunteer etc. Women are great at organising themselves and I'm sure there are many local groups you can get involved in. Leave him at home if that's what he chooses and stop worrying about his obsession as it will eat you up eventually. You need to live your life,now.

Do you love him? Do you like him? Do you even want to try to improve the situation between yourselves? Maybe these are some of the questions you can ask yourself before you carryon. Sit him down and tell him how you're feeling and that you want more in life with him. If he's not willing to make changes, you'll have to decide if you want to live this way for the rest of your days.

My husband was the same with sport, anything involving a ball, usually. Also crab fishing, extreme fishing and time team! I sat with my iPad and earphones on watching the programmes I liked. He died two years ago and there hasn't been a football match, rugby, golf or any other sport of fishing on since!

Noooooo Smithty retirement isn't lonely when you live on your own. For me, it's wonderful to do as I please and not be subservient to a man. My retirement started with small steps. Joining the U3A and learning a new hobby, that hobby took over and as given me a new social circle. in 2015 I joined a Meetup group in the local area, walks theatre, talks NT the list is endless, you can do as much or as little as you want and also of course affordability!!! Next week I have organised a day trip to London. 14 of us going. 241 tickets for the Thames river cruise. Just a taster Bettyboo22 we have married ladies in the group whose husbands do not want to do anything SOOOO small steps and* LIVE LAUGH and LOVE.*

A friend encouraged her OH to get out more and join things, he did and met someone else. It's a dilemma.

Is he actually refusing to go out or is it a case of different ideas about where to go. I expect if you were both out working that masked some of the differences. Yes go out and join in with whatever takes your fancy, as others have said, something to talk about over meals. Second TV, well I suppose if there is only one at least you are sitting together.....

Can you both join a club involving some gentle sport eg bowls so that at least you get out and about together? Join the National Trust and do some walking around the lovely grounds of properties if he doesn't want to join U3A and their strollers?

Snap!! But I am married to a workaholic !! He won't retire (we Have a business) which involves me keeping the accounts but if he is not at his desk then he is "doing" something in the garden or in the house. Great if you need an odd job man but I need a companion as well. . Your only resort is to lead a separate life alongside his preferred interest of tv but he has to share the domestics too. Don't feed him or do all the chores and shopping etc. Men must realize that life doesn't stop for you when THEY retire.
Get out more and leave him to it if he won't go with you. Volunteering is great fun and you meet all sorts of people. Dancing, keep fit, U3a, Slimming Clubs etc etc are full of women like you and I, looking to escape from domestic chores and controlling husbands.

Lots of good advice already on here. Don't leave its lonely retired and alone! Just make life better for yourself as suggested. Good luck.

I thought watching tv was 'vegetating'
As is being on GN


Must go and do something productive (plants to put in, jam to make, fruit to put in the freezer, knitting to sew up, photos to sort. A woman's work is never done even when she's retired!).

It's more 'Grand Designs' in this house, but he does say 'well, you were on the computer so I had on what I liked, change channels if you like'.

Sometimes I feel as if Kevin McCloud is living with us.

The word that jumps out as me is 'ALLOWED'. This sounds so controlling.

The question you have to ask yourself is this... 'Is this what I want my life to be like and continue to be like?'

You could just carry on and build a social life on your own of course...go to an evening class and join a MeetUp group that will get you out doing things. Just google MeetUp. I am going to an 'escape room' today with the group I belong to

Oh and buy another TV...hahaha

Oh a question. What are your feelings for his man?

I think it's more ( my DH anyway) that they fall asleep half way through, so have to see everything again ( and they fall asleep again etc etc.)