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Problems with Daughter in Law

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paddyann Mon 19-Jun-17 16:05:54

she's grieving ,give her time.She'll never "get over it" but she will learn to live with losing her baby.She's hitting out because she doesn't know what else to do,NOTHING will make her feel better and she cant understand why your world seems to have gone on as normal while she feels hers has been devastated .Find out if she has contact from SANDS if not get the phone number for the branch local to them and give it to your son.This isn't ABOUT you you have to try to understand that ,your son should speak to someone at SANDS too for advice .I am so sorry for their loss ,there is no worse pain than the loss of a much wanted baby ,please be patient with her,send her little mmsgs of support and if they haven't had a funeral maybe suggest a balloon release as a way of you all saying goodbye

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dragonfly46 Mon 19-Jun-17 15:49:19

My daughter in law and son discovered at their 20 week scan of their baby that he had no kidneys. They were told that if he went full term he would only live for 10 minutes and were advised to terminate the pregnancy which they did. Unfortunately later that week my daughter had her wedding to which my son and daughter in law were invited but of course did not attend. Their little girl was to be a flower girl. After the wedding, however, my DiL defriended me, my daugther and new son in law on Facebook giving the reason that the pictures of it just had her in bits which I quite understood.
We met up with DS and DiL on Saturday for the first time since all this happened as we live a long way apart and after about 10 minutes my DiL stormed out telling us we did not care about losing our grandchild or about her as we were just having fun drinking champagne!
My son told me that she was upset we didn't cancel the wedding and blames us for her unhappiness. In the meantime he is constantly having to spend time with her family and is finding it very hard as he says he needs us as much as she needs her family.
She is making it very difficult now for us to see their little girl who is 2. We already saw a lot less of her than her mum and dad but now I just see it getting worse and don't know what to do or how to handle things.
I sent her a message after she walked out on us and got one back but I am not sure it changes anything.
My son is in despair.

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