Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

I wondered what that smell was - I dreamt about being smothered in pickled onion monster munch! There's some gunk glueing my left eye shut, but I'm too scared to touch it. Maybe later... ZZZZZZ....

Not too early for a drink is it - DH has abandoned me for Bowls all day and next Saturday. The biggest thrill I can think of today is to go to M & S Food and spend loads on things he doesn't approve of- I'm old now definitely old!!

Ahem! I've just been in the snug to open a window and found a pair of grubby Y fronts; a red suspender belt and 1 white stilleto shoe with a 4" heel shoved under the bench in the corner. Looks like the dirt and dust under there has "been disturbed" quite a bit . Anyone want to lay claim or shall I shove 'em behind the bar?

Good morning "ladies", bad news. The staff are revolting (fair enough, what can you expect on their wages), however, the security doorman has resigned as its against his professional code of conduct to throw drunks in to a bar instead of out. Also the ladies room attendant has sent in her notice. The last straw being required to deal with the aftermath of one of the performances: the wind beneath that persons wings distressingly led to her following through.
The committee will have to discuss this sort of risk before tonight's turns commence.

This is the GN I love
I shall pop in now and again for me port n lemon but I'll be the old girl in the corner wearing the blue shimmery eye shadow and crimson lippy, who don't say a lot just watches, cos you lot are much funnier than me.

May I start a good argument? (Stands in very aggressive pose)
I can do alcohol, sarcasm, rowdiness - anything to suit, but if as the Hon. Member riverwalk suggests, there is NO CAKE then I must ask for a vote of no confidence.
No cake indeed - wot about my human rights?

Lil just suggested a burlesque room above if nobody else wants to rent it ....extras included....do we wipe our feet on way out..

If still standing

sluttygran..my sorta girl...we could do space cake coutesy of the dude upstairs..
Is this a pole dancing establishment?

Now look at what youve done Anya you have unleashed the exhibionist in me

Slutty oddly enough the nice horticulturist on the top floor has just handed me a huge plate of brownies. Muttered something about free samples and 'there's more where those came from'

I've got to go out again but can you arrange them artistically on a plate perhaps.

And bugger me, that cat's been in again, through the open window I'm guessing, if the smell's anything to go by.

ninathenana I'll give you a wave when passing don't sit too long though or the cleaner will dust you off with her oily rag.
sluttygran we never had cake this early at Pete's we had bacon butties and doorstep slices of toast there are always pork scratchings behind the bar if you want them.

That be tomato plants Anya

You're booked for tonight Downtoearth - you can follow Wee Willy and his balloon modelling act.

Been up to look and they're not tomatoes ? the leaves are more serrated. I've taken a photo

My tomatoes look like that

Just got the WD49 out( stronger) practiscing on the pole for the washing line

Must be a new species I've not grown yet ?

Really must go. It's Open Door at the Cafe (or it would be if Bo could remember where she dropped her knickers the key, so it's Open Window Day instead)

Just climb in and start without me. Do report back on the brownies.

Ash just popped in to say the brownies are great for arthritis. I think that's his name as he muttered something about Ash's Brownies ....but I might have misheard him.

Bye.

Anya and merlotgran loved the limericks. Any more, anyone?

NanKate would you elaborate on you gin distillery visit, please? I'm looking for one of them as a prospective gift.

It's OK about the horticulture anyway. We may be a working men's club, but we are applying California laws and I saw Eric Burdon on TV saying the plants are legal-5 per person for personal use only. But there's enough of us. Peace and love rule- what year is it?

A whole distillery Kim?

Put me on your present list. Pretty please!!?

Are they ..Hash Brownies anya