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Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

(1001 Posts)
Anya Fri 16-Jun-17 16:54:29

I'd never dare enter some of the safe havens on GN ??

But does anyone remember Pete's Cafe (?? or something like that??) where those of a more robust nature met to exchange witticisms and the like?

There's no tea and cakes, but a good selection of alcohol ?? and pork scratchings etc.. Dress code is flexible, but no twin sets and pearls (or anything else that can be clutched to bosoms). Cross dressers etc. welcome (providing they stick to the no twin-set rule even if no bosons to clutch to)

I'll try to drop in tonight to see if there are any customers.

All suggestions as to Cafe Rules are welcome. I'd start by suggesting no talk about cats or knitting ?

Menopaws Mon 24-Jul-17 18:18:40

Nah ferrets

POGS Mon 24-Jul-17 18:06:12

Thanks all.

I did pop in when Anya opened the Cafe and mentioned how rubbish I was at Karaoke but could fart in tune to the Andrews Sisters Booby Woogy Bugle Man from Company B.

I am a ' corner sitter' but I don't miss much and you have all made me smile .

Mad as fishes comes to mind.?

Menopaws Mon 24-Jul-17 17:06:09

Roses don't eat the raisins and Mary I see you lent him your kinky boots, welcome POGS as long as you can fart in tune you are welcome

Ana Mon 24-Jul-17 16:33:06

Mind you, he doesn't seem to have much hair himself...hmm

rosesarered Mon 24-Jul-17 16:31:04

He looks a bit narked Marydoll...... did he know about your wig and falsies?

Marydoll Mon 24-Jul-17 12:42:55

Yes, welcome POGS, we are a happy bunch. Well most of the time, unless someone tries to steal our man.
I am still resting after my encounter with the BIG boss admiral last night and into the early hours of this morning.
Isn't he handsome, with those fine thighs?

I hope to pop in tonight for a hair of the dog/ferret to meet up with everyone.

rosesarered Mon 24-Jul-17 12:30:37

Here I am again......for lunch!
What's on the menu Anya ? Should we start stocking pies and pasties?
Venison rolls sound good, and what about star gazy pie?
Have a think.
Meanwhile I will sit at the bar and eat peanuts.?

rosesarered Mon 24-Jul-17 09:43:04

Welcome POGS to the friendliest bar/cafe in town smile
Make mine a large one barkeep! wink

Marydoll Sun 23-Jul-17 22:42:16

I hope you are not going to allow the green eyed monster envy Chewy to spoil our special friendship! Envy is such a destructive emotion.
Anyway, I still have Geraint's vet in my sights, in case the big boss man Admiral doesn't work out ......and boy is he big tallgrin
You know what they say, "Any port in a storm" ..... and I'm not fussed which port I end up in, if you catch my drift.wink

POGS Sun 23-Jul-17 22:38:57

Swanny

The topiary is a 'POT' plant after all.wink

Have you plenty of ice and Bicardi folks , I feel in need of a few 'lifters'.

I thought when the Cafe opened some were not too keen on my farting prowess so I have been in self confined rehab but I have to report it has to date been a waste of time, sorry.

Chewbacca Sun 23-Jul-17 22:28:03

You are a grade A floozy Marydoll ! It was only last night that you had the hots for Gideon's vet! You were in raptures at how "dexterous he is when he's rooting out the anal glands". You said his black rubber gloves were sexy and you "adored the scent Propofol". You were all over him like a rash! Tonight, it's the Admiral's boss because he's wearing white! Fickle or what? hmm

Marydoll Sun 23-Jul-17 22:17:55

Swanny you can keep the Admiral, for I have good news, Laidees,. The Admiral's boss, the fleet admiral is in town and he is MINE! He has just arrived from the Tropics and is still wearing his white uniform. I am speechless at his handsomeness, so if anyone dares to approach him, it will be gin bottles handbags at dawn. I'm off to tart tidy myself up.

Chewbacca Sun 23-Jul-17 21:54:41

Dont think he was winking Swanny . That's a nervous tic! He's had it ever since his encounter with roses. he'll never be the same, poor man

Swanny Sun 23-Jul-17 21:43:33

Thanks for the 2 bottles of gin ladies, I don't think I'll be popping in tomorrow but you never know - I'm sure that Admiral in the corner winked at me ...

Swanny Sun 23-Jul-17 21:41:23

Well I've heard reference before to a connection between a particular smell and weed - and I don't mean the 'pissing off fairies' type wink

Chewbacca Sun 23-Jul-17 21:40:39

Is that kindly neighbourhood bobby the one with the very big truncheon that roses keeps nipping out to "help"? roses said that he uses his handcuffs a lot. hmm

Ana Sun 23-Jul-17 21:23:35

I wouldn't bother, Swanny - he's the one wot gave us the plant in the first place, said it would liven up the outside lav! No wonder he keeps coming round to 'inspect' it!

Swanny Sun 23-Jul-17 21:19:27

BTW that topiary out there has a funny smell - must ask the neighbourhood bobby if he knows what is is as he is renowned for his sticky green fingers

Swanny Sun 23-Jul-17 21:15:10

Sorry ladies, had to pop back incognito as my toyboy assistant did not examine all the necessary necessities. Is it safe to inspect the cleanliness of the outside lav at the moment?

Menopaws Sun 23-Jul-17 21:15:02

And ferrets if you throw them out of the window.......ooops

Swanny Sun 23-Jul-17 21:13:05

Yeah, yeah and pigs can fly ...

Chewbacca Sun 23-Jul-17 21:07:59

My delicate sensibilities were shocked, shocked I tell you, Ana! I've left a very sheltered life until I literally stumbled into the Argy Bargy and fell in with the wayward people like roses and Marydoll . Until then, I'd lived a very pure and innocent life. ?

Menopaws Sun 23-Jul-17 21:05:04

Thanks Ana, I told you that rum cocktail was strong, methinks I've had enough!

Ana Sun 23-Jul-17 21:01:25

What's the matter, Chewbacca? That Geronimo been nipping your unmentionables again?

I'd go for both, Menopaws - if ne doesn't do the trick, the other surely will! wink

Chewbacca Sun 23-Jul-17 20:49:54

shock MENOPAWS !

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