Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Ah yes well erm the new dishy farmhand called by to er borrow some er sawdust and as I keep it upstairs, he had to er take his boots off and when he saw the cctv camera he panicked and ran out of the front door and into his tractor leaving his boots behind.

Menipaws accept my apologies for blaming you. But what were you up to with the wellies?

I paid good money for that artwork Chewy - you obviously have no appreciation of modern art and no taste (except for pickled eggs - yes...you have been outed - caught on the newly installed CCTV)

Menopaws What can you be thinking of? My Geronimo does not fart. But I think Marydoll does. The painting is a marvellous improvement Anya, bloody good job done, well done. Is the graffiti in the loo and art installation or has DanniRae been loose with her crayons again?

Well isn't this nice. Everything spik and span just as I left it. Which was just as well as the Hygiene Police paid an unexpected visit and awarded us a top mark. In particular we were praised for the clean and fresh decor and the cleanliness of the beer lines.

Apparently there had been a complaint but they could see it was obviously malicious and unfounded.

Luckily the smell of the fresh paint masked the pong of that gerbil (I quickly shoved it inside a welly and put that outside the back door which is the best place for it )

If that ferret farts like it did the other day we will know who stole it won't we chewy?? Anyway they were well out of date I just put them in a new jar so the ones at the bottom would be rank, serves you right. Just cos I didn't like the yellow Anya, no need to blame me as the phantom egg stealer, mind you I have worked my way through that box of peperami and no one has noticed. Well I hope they were peperami ... where's Giovanni?

Sorry laidees,
I have been too busy decorating my own house to help. Well I wasn't exactly decorating, i was holding the ladder. I'm free now that all the hard work is finished. Don't believe everything Chewey says about me. She always exaggerates. I have only had three hangovers this week.
Chewey, re the pickled onions. Methinks you doth protest too much.
It definitely wasn't me. I have never eaten a pickled onion in 40 years, since I was seasick after eating a bag of pickled onion crisps on a traumatic North Sea ferry crossing. I still have nightmares about it.

Painted the doors in plain white.....

I know you wouldn't do that Chewy because I'm positive if you had dropped in you'd have grabbed a brush and helped with the painting.

Doesn't it look lovely and summery now? And I've repainted the doors in place n white, so we can find them easily without groping along the walls.

You're right Anya, it definitely was Menopaws who nicked the pickled egg. Or..... it might have been Annsixty cos I saw her hanging around looking shifty earlier this morning. Or..... it could very well have been that Marydoll because she'll have had her usual hangover and needed something to buck her up. Failing that, it would definitely have been Bella. Wasn't me though. Definitely not.

I bet it's that Menopaws

Right that's me done for the day. Just time to wash my hands and have that last pickled egg I was saving for lunch......that last pickled egg I was .....???

Some bugger's nicked it ☹️??

<sticks head around door, can see ladders, paint and brushes. Realises that if I hang around much longer, I'll get roped into working. Swipes a pickled egg off the bar and legs it>

So u did imbibe then!

Sod off then! Eat my breakfast (notice the sunshine yellow eggs didn't cause your eyes any problems) and then run.

I'll carry on by myself because that's the kind of martyr person I am.

Sticks nose in air and tries to climb ladder. Decides can't do both at the same time as keeps missing rungs

So happens I've been on the razz all night as I usually wear more casual, which is why I suggested a Buck's Fizz as I'm beginning to sober up. Oh sod it just a quick two glasses then I'll wander home and get changed and help you later, if I don't drop off that is. Btw sunshine yellow hurts my eyes and will show the marks when Marydoll slides down the wall

Well that's me full up. I'll just dump the dishes in the sink for later and knock on with the painting. There's an old shirt that'll cover your finery menopaws (do you always do the cleaning dressed up to the 9s?) and I think I'll do the up-the-ladder bits as I'm a bit worried about your stilettos.

OK....sunshine yellow, here we come

Yes cream please and what a lovely breakfast, could almost slip in a cheeky Buck's Fizz? The orange juice is just in date

Blimey! They did need those flushing out....the smell. I'm opening the windows and hoping the smell of the bacon overpowers it.

Bacon, two eggs (sunny side up), mushrooms, tomato and toast coming up Mrnopaws . Do you want cream with your coffee? I'd advise it as it's a pretty lethal java.

Can I join you Anya, I don't mind a bit of painting and I love bacon and eggs, I've got to clean the beer lines anyway which takes a while as we don't want another episode of the Bearded Lady's revenge otherwise we will have to decorate the loo again.

I've decided this colour is too intense. So I'm gonna GN to reprint the place in a lovely summery yellow.

I'm here in my dungarees, hair tied up under a headscarf. Undercoat is on and drying out (like Chewy and Mary) and I'm brewing a good strong coffee while the bacon and eggs are cooking.

They're all drying out or sleeping it off!

Did you all go to the greasy spoon and die from food poisoning? Where is everyone, the place is all nice and the cheap gin is gathering dust. See you later or have you secretly found another bar?

Usually, yes to that...but I had a dodgy one at the weekend.
What about a visit to the "Greasy Spoon" Caf. It might give us some ideas for our café.??