Great post. I identify with all of the above. Thanks for the laugh.
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Evening all, and good wishes.
Mr P (aka Mutley, as mentioned in another thread) said the other evening "you really should stop doing that"
I asked what he meant, and he said "that throat humming thing, you'll end up with a sore throat"
I hadn't even noticed that I was doing it,
but it's made me aware of other habits, for example:
Singing a particular "pom tiddly om" song, but only while cooking 
Talking to the cats as if they actually knew or cared what I was on about.
Ditto Mr P (on occasions)
Sitting on the sofa with legs tucked up and flexed at the hip, then getting up to go to bed and wondering why I'm walking like John Wayne....... with haemorrhoids.
Making noises when getting up/sitting down, even if there is no one there to hear them.
Running a finger over chin to check for whiskers, then trying to pull them out with fingers, even though this has never, ever been successful in the past. (Note to self, especially try to stop doing this in the boring part of meetings)
Oh, there are probably loads more, but I think that's quite enough to be going on with!
Just wondering if we are talking about the same sort of throat humming?
Mr P says that mine is something like either purring or growling
Beware! Some of the smart TVs and voice recognition devices are recording your every word, and can pass them on to other parties 
. I don't like the idea.
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2950081/It-s-not-just-smart-TVs-home-gadgets-spy-internet-giants-collecting-personal-data-high-tech-devices.html
hellsbells I too often find myself searching for my glasses when I'm actually wearing them. I've also been known to try putting a pair of glasses on when I'm already wearing another pair (would that give me double vision?
)
hellsbells, I've done that too. Same with hats! The funniest time was when I was on a bryophyte searching party (they let me tag along) and, after we'd had our picnic lunch I was faffing about looking everywhere for my glasses, and saying I can't find my glasses. People looked a bit awkward and then someone brave said, "Um. You are wearing some glasses."
You think it can report what you have said SG Actually I wish it could report the times I switch people off.
Sadly I no longer have a cat to converse with, Dearest Moggie having gone to the Great Mouse Hunt some years ago.
I content myself with ranting at people on the TV. I have been very rude indeed during the recent election.
It's a good job the TV. can't report what I have said to it, as I should probably be locked up for a long time!
I remember many, many years ago taking DS1 (who will be 39 in August ) to the local shop "on foot" rather than in the buggy.
I still can recall his little face, gazing up at me with a look of confusion and bewilderment as we reached the kerb to cross the road and I firmly ordered him to SIT
In my defence, I was used to him being in the buggy, and the dog trotting beside me.
Oh yes, the throat humming! Do it all the time, not just when I'm cooking . I will notice my DD glance up at me as I pass by and I quickly realise I'm doing it and stop, only for it to start again, totally involuntarily, 10 seconds later.
I talk to machines, mostly when they're annoying me. "Yes, OK, I'm coming, shut yer face!", or "Do you really have to beep TEN times? Don't you think that's a bit excessive?" I once shouted at a twin tub washing machine (used some pretty ripe language, actually) and threw it out of the back door, full of water. Well, it wasn't full once it was out there of course...
If I drop something, knock something over, spill liquid - you know, that sort of thing - it's usually met with something like "Oh thank you so much. That's EXACTLY what I wanted to happen!"
DH knows when to retreat to another room and keep quiet 
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