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Did you enjoy your babies?

(91 Posts)
Flossieturner Fri 02-Jun-17 11:17:36

I don't know if it is because women seem to come to motherhood after their careers are well established. I experience, read and hear many mothers saying how hard it is, how they can't go anywhere because they are EBF . The tiredness, exhaustion, lack of help from partners and family seem to bring them down.

I don't remember feeling so tied. I had my children in my early 20s. I lived in rooms, had no car, no washing mashing, no hot water even. Certainly never had any family support.

I can't help wondering if nature has not caught up with changing social changes, and women's bodies are not meant to be having babies when they are approaching middle age. Maybe though, it is just that most of my generation of women were not educated to a higher degree. From when I left school, all I and my friends wanted was to get married and have as many babies as possible.

My DD had her children in her 20s and seemed to enjoy them. All of my DiLs had them well into the 30s and have found it much harder.

NannyKasey Fri 02-Jun-17 20:23:58

I enjoyed mine, though I do admit that after my DH and DM went back to work, being left with a 15 day old baby looking at her and thinking 'oh OK what do I do now' Despite this DD is 27 and has 2 DD's of her own. DS who followed 2 years later was hard work as a baby and toddler, he's almost 25 now and like his sister was a rock when I was seriously ill last year and loves both his nieces to bits. I'm proud that I've brought them up to be responsible and caring adults

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 20:22:54

I was very anxious with my first and Dr Spock was very well-read!

DD tried Gina Ford for a while but decided that DGS had not read it so sent it to the charity shop.

Greyduster Fri 02-Jun-17 20:19:17

I don't think I enjoyed my first as much as I should have done - I had a long and difficult birth in a strange country with my family on the other side of the world and felt completely bewildered by it all for quite a while. I had no experience of babies and small children and I struggled to bond with my son. Like nonna my husband was a serviceman who, fortunately, came from a large family so was used to little ones. As has already been said, we muddled through, clutching a copy of Dr
Spock and flying by the seat of our pants! Second time around it was a whole different ball game. As for my own DD, she was one of the late starters at 36; not a confident mother and therefore one whose mothering skills were strictly by the rules as she refused to trust her instincts, and because she would not deviate an inch, it caused both her and me a good deal of misery to start with. When she learned to give a little, things got better. She is a wonderful mum to our only grandchild and he is a credit to her.

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 20:04:09

Breda - the nappy bucket. With a dose of Napisan in it, yuk. However, we didn't add to landfill with disposable nappies in those days did we!

kittylester I was told I needed an amniocentesis for No. 3 because I was 'old'. I dutifully complied but baby kicked very violently and they said 'Oh, must have caught her foot or her leg! You could have a miscarriage'. It didn't work and I was informed I needed to go back and have it done again - so I went back and told the consultant that I wasn't having one; he was not best pleased and told me it would be my fault if anything was wrong.

Morgana Fri 02-Jun-17 19:24:04

Had mine in my thirties. Having never wanted any I was totally unprepared! No family close by and had to go back to work after 3 months with the first. I had no support from other mums as they all stayed home. I felt very guilty about leaving the children. But they have turned into kind and caring adults. I feel so blessed that I actually had them. It was one of the best things to happen in my life. And as to grandchildren. .. well they are wonder ful as u know!

NonnaW Fri 02-Jun-17 19:07:38

I don't remember enjoying my 3babies anywhere near as much as I enjoy the grandson. I wasn't maternal, husband was in RAF so nowhere near family for support. I had them at 22, 25 & 28, had no experience of babies so just muddled through. That said, I don't remember having the sleepless nights today's mums seem to have. I had 2 prem babies, one of which was by section in a German hospital (interesting - I didn't speak German and only 1 doctor spoke English!). We survived, and I'm very proud of the men my boys have grown into.

Breda Fri 02-Jun-17 18:43:13

I thoroughly enjoyed each of my four babies who arrived between 1973 and 1981. I was a young mum - my eldest born just before I was 20. We had very little in terms of material possessions and I was pretty much on my own for the first years of married life as my husband worked away all the time. We lived in a remote little hamlet and for entertainment I would take the children for a walk and they could swing on farm gates and look at the animals. The mobile library kept me sane as I didn't have a car, a t.v or a radio but I had an amazing time to get to know and understand my beautiful children. It was the best of times! Oh and I didn't have a washing machine but I did have a nappy bucket! It never seemed like hard work to me.

rosesarered Fri 02-Jun-17 18:38:13

Yes, enjoyed the baby stage and all the way through childhood as well, those were our happiest days.

annsixty Fri 02-Jun-17 18:26:53

I loved having my C, enjoyed every minute, but I was lucky.
We were in our late 20's and early 30's when we had them.
We had our own house (with a mortgage of course) and I was able to be a stay at home mum.
Holidays were self catering but thoroughly enjoyed.
A very happy time.

Moneyboss Fri 02-Jun-17 17:54:00

Sorry to say, I didn't enjoy my children like I should have. It was early 1970's, I was 16 when I had my first and wasn't allowed to keep her (I fought and got her back at 17 months old) and had another child when I was 20. Looking back I was too young to enjoy them and still wanted to party myself. They've both grown into fabulous adults. I must like children though as I also have grandchildren, great grandchildren and Foster children.

kittylester Fri 02-Jun-17 17:45:53

I've just remembered - when I was pregnant the last time, I was so old shock that I had to see a (very up himself)consultant who suggested that I had an amniocentesis (sp?) test done. Having already talked to DH I said no.

Consultant: If you were my wife you would have one!
Me: If I was your wife we'd be divorced. blush

I was quite embarrassed to tell my GP what I had said but he howled with laughter and said he was proud of me!!

harrigran Fri 02-Jun-17 16:45:15

I had my last baby when I was 25 and all children left home by the time I was 44. My mother had her last one at 47 and my sister and I had to do an awful lot of babysitting, no way was I going to follow suit.
I enjoyed the babies even though it was extremely hard work, terry nappies and no washing machine, boiling the feeding bottles.

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:40:33

What a good thing kittylester and I didn't have the same GP as you vq

Although I remember that my cousin had a very nasty consultant when she had her last baby at 44 - he told her she was very irresponsible.

kittylester Fri 02-Jun-17 16:38:00

I had my first 3 when aged 22,24 and 25. It was fun but passed in a whirl. Had a miscarriage at 28 but then took ages to get pregnant with number 4 so I had 3 within 4 years then a 6 year gap. I was extremely old (but obviously not too old!) when I had number 5 - 38!! shock

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:30:12

Oh well, I was getting on a bit when I had my last one grin and my mum was even older when she had me!

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:28:18

It does seem to be a lot more stressful these days and I do wonder, by the time young parents have paid for nursery (not cheap!), travel expenses or run two cars, clothes for work etc etc whether they are in fact in pocket unless both have very well-paid jobs indeed.

vampirequeen Fri 02-Jun-17 16:27:19

My old GP told me that woman should have their last child by the time they were 29 because that was the end of 10 years or so when they were at their most able to physically cope with the strains of pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing.

I had my children in my twenties and loved every minute of being a mam....well apart from sleepless nights lol.

grannylyn65 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:25:36

Loved my babies, now, ummmm!!!

Norah Fri 02-Jun-17 16:21:29

Jalima1108, I am in with your friends, never worked away from home. Different people. smile

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:17:16

I was what was termed an 'elderly primagravida' in those days - nearly 30 when I had my first child so had worked for a few years before starting a family.

Jalima1108 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:16:01

Yes, I did enjoy them but was quite glad to go back and take a refresher course then back to work part-time, eventually full-time, when the youngest started school.

Some of my friends left when they had a family and never went back to work at all.

Flossieturner Fri 02-Jun-17 16:10:15

Really interesting to read all your thoughts. When I heard about free nursery for 2. Year olds I thought why?. Society seems to look down on mums and dads who want to stay at home and raise young children.

grannypiper Fri 02-Jun-17 15:56:42

I was a young Mum, my children were born when i was 18,20 and 23. I lived 250 miles away from my family,had a husband who worked shifts and was away for weeks and months at a time but i never found it hard and enjoyed those early years.
I Have friends who had children in their 20's then had more children with a new partner when they have been in their early 40's, all 3 of them moan about how hard it is to give up their lives again. I remarried at 42 and never even considered going back to days of nappies and teething. I love babies but love it when i can hand them back.

Norah Fri 02-Jun-17 15:42:24

I had my first 2 babies in my teens and the other 2 in my 40s. I had more energy with the first 2 and enough money with the last 2. Different stages of my life, but I enjoy and enjoyed all of them immensely.

Deedaa Fri 02-Jun-17 15:38:15

I enjoyed mine although I was tired. I can't imagine how I'd have coped If I'd had a job as well. Of course I couldn't have worked because we had no child care available. The grandchildren have been much more fun though