Did you enjoy your babies?

I only had the one, and to be honest, I didn't particularly enjoy it.
I was on my own, very poor, and had no idea what I was doing.
I have never had any interest in babies, really; I loved my time when my daughter was older, around 8, 9, 10..

I don't know how I managed. I was a young army wife living abroad. I had no support at all. We lived in a flat and had to dry the nappies indoors after soaking in nappisan. I was so tired and stressed I nearly cracked up. If someone could have taken my baby for one day and just let me sleep it would have helped.

This was the era when the National Housewives' Register started I think - it gave housebound women an added dimension to think about. Now known as the National Women's Register.

Unfortunately, being on my own much of the time with family hundreds of miles away and a MIL who lived near but was very busy herself I could rarely join in.

I was - in modern parlance - a career girl. Didn't marry until I was 28 which was really late at that time. My Mother was concerned: I wasn't. Didn't mind being on the shelf as long as I was dusted regularly! However, in due course love blossomed and along came two sons. Enjoyed them both thoroughly although I did join a group called the 'Housewives register' (now, there's a title to scream about if one so wishes!) which gave me considerable stimulus and outside interests. Wouldn't have changed my life one iota at that time other than the considerable financial stress. My Mother said it would pass. It did. I returned to part time work in my previous career when younger was 14. Now........this is something to think on in modern thinking........on three different occasions I have been asked about these days by young modern mothers and EACH ONE has commented 'you mean you were a KEPT woman?' Well, I simply smile and say it didn't feel like that at the time (still doesn't) but their reaction is pretty much shock. Today is SO different in thinking and practicality that I cannot get my head round it. I do not think it takes two salaries to survive nowadays. What I find is that my young people fall into the category of 'wanting it all and wanting it now'. They were certainly not brought up like that. I'm boring enough to think that much of this excessive stress that seems to be around nowadays can be attributed to modern lifestyles. However......that's just me. I am daily SO grateful that I lived in the timescale I am in. SO grateful.........

It is sad that so many of you didn't enjoy that time and felt alone.
We had moved onto a small new housing estate , mostly young people just starting married life, some already with young children so had instant friends with similar interests and life styles. I cannot remember anyone working outside the home.
We left before my D was 2 but after a year in rented accommodation bought another new house in a similar location and similar families and had my S again a very happy time.

Are we so different from this generation? I'm in my mid60s. I went back to work after each of my 2, no help whatsoever from outside. Mortgage rate went crazy when I was pregnant with no2.
I love helping out my daughter in law and niece, one works, one doesn't, and being the grannie my kids never had.

When my daughter started her family in her mid twenties it was the fashion (for want of a better word) to have at least three if not four children asap. I recall vividly sitting in her living room and listening with some amusement to her circle of friends congratulating each other on being 'Earth mothers' because they were popping babies out each year. My daughter stopped at three but some of her friends went on to have five or more. I wonder now that these kiddies are reaching teenage years if they still think they are 'Earth mothers' or whether their views may have changed. Certainly my daughter complains that my grandchildren a) Don't go to bed early enough (she would have them in bed by 7pm if she could) b) Constantly need new clothes/shoes/things for school/school trips etc c) Are eating her out of house and home! I worked full time once my daughter was 18 months old, my daughter got paid maternity leave for 9 months and could have had a further 6 months if she wanted but that would be unpaid - I got 6 weeks paid leave when I had my two children. There is certainly much more pressure on parents to provide things like the latest phone/laptop/designer clothes etc - so glad I had my children in the days when you could still knit and sew their clothes yourself without it creating a melt down!

My children are adopted after the baby stage, so I haven't first-hand experience, but my experience as aunt and as godmother has taught me a lot. My sister had her children early, she was just 18 when the eldest was born in 1972. She and my brother-in-law coped well and did enjoy their babies, even although they didn't love the broken nights etc.
My god-children were born in the 1980s and 1990s to parents who wanted children, but had no first-hand experience of babies, never having had siblings or been baby sitters.
This I think is the important point. Today's new mothers and fathers are often only children. They just don't know what having children entails. A lot of grandmothers are still working, others live too far a way to be a help, and the young parents today, don't ask for help. So we feel we are interfering if we offer to do anything, or the young mother, especially if she is daughter-in-law feels we are criticising.
It's no wonder they are stressed. Some do resent the fact that babies take their mothers away from a satisfying job, others resent that the baby's daddy is even more handless and insecure around an infant that they are themselves.

Yes Flossieturner apart from one or two friends who took up a career, usually nursing, I and my friends were at home for the first few years and I thoroughly enjoyed it. First baby at 21 and two others before 30. DotMH1901 you have just reminded me of Clothkits which I used to have a go at putting together. Knitted and made most of the clothes, occasional outings to Mothercare. We lived semi rurally and the children could go out to play with their friends whilst the mums had a cup of tea and a chat, sounds almost civilised now!

I missed work when I had my first I was an older mum most of my friends had had their children and had gone back to work I spent a lot days on my own oh worked nights . I went back to work part time and was a much happier person and really enjoyed my babies especially when they became toddlers .

Didnt have DS until I was 32 after 10 years trying. He wasnt perfect but how many are. We had sleepless nights but wouldnt change a thing. I totally loved having him & still do!
He is 38 now, married with 2 Littlies who if they want the moon I will find a ladder long enough & get it for them. All my poor DiL wants is to spend as much time with her DC as I did mine.
They have just bought a small house, run a car needed for work. DiL drops GS at school, GD at nursery then to work herself. DS uses his bike to get to work. If they did not both work they would still be renting which was more expensive than buying their house.
I think I had the best time as I did not go back to work till DS was 8 years old but worked from home for 'extras'.

Our DSs were born in the 70s. I stayed home with DS1 but three months after the birth of DS2, my DH was made redundant. Our parents were not able to help at all, no nursery care available, so we were reliant on our own devices. He was able to earn working from home and so, to make ends meet, I went back to work. I wish I could have spent more quality time at home with them....they were so lovely

I had mine in my early 20s and I was never tired. When they went to bed in the early evening, I still had an evening ahead of me to indulge my hobbies which I did with full energy. Now, when my small grandchildren visit, I am completely wiped out after about 3 hours and no good for anything at all for the rest of the day.

Oh and my goodness never felt alone - I made so many wonderful friends when my children were babies and toddlers - loads of informal toddler groups and coffee morning clubs where we took turns in being hostess etc. But in those days most mums (not being sexist, that's how it was) stayed home with their kids till at least age 3. I think these days with having to go back to work sooner no one has as much time to hang around in toddler playgroups and get to know other parents.

I was 30 and 31 when I had my S and D and loved every minute of being home with them. We were permanently in debt until I could do more than odd part time jobs when they went to school. We did lots of walks in and on top of the pram and they slept so well in it. Not like GC who nap on the sofa and wake too soon!

Cloth kits! Loved their clothes and the knitted dresses!
When we were young we lived with our house as it was - no new bathroom and kitchen as a matter of course. Our furniture and appliances were all hand me downs, as were both of our cots, the high chair and even our bed. Perhaps today's pressure for everything to be new adds to the financial problems which mean so many young people need two earners.

In my early 30s I had twin son and daughter. 7 weeks prem which was quite something back then. I coped but having enjoyment from the two tiny babies .... Sadly I don't think so.

My total enjoyment came when they where 3 1/2 and I decided one morning a week at playschool would be good for them etc. I shall never forget the pure joy of dropping them off, or my son hanging onto my leg for dear life and screaming like a banshee! 3 whole hours of freedom to go and have a coffee with a friend. I almost felt guilty at my excitement .....

So I think it's wonderful for new mums nowadays as the husbands (etc) take an equal part in baby rearing so that the mothers aren't alone in doing what is the most important job they'll ever do.

I recall something my mum used to say about kids ... The best years of life. Only much later did I realise she was right!

I only have one child, by choice, but I enjoyed every moment of his babyhood!
DS was born when I was 29, and I returned to my career when he was six months old.
I was lucky in that my mum was able to mind him most of the time and DH worked shifts, so although I worked unsocial hours, between the three of us he was very well looked after.
There were times when DH was on night shift, DS kept me awake all night, and I had a ten hour shift to work the next day, when it was a bit much, but it's only tiredness, I got over it!
Our DS and DDiL both have high pressure careers now, and DGS is in nursery two days a week, I look after him the other three days. Although I enjoyed DS as a baby, I'm getting far more joy out of being with DGS, I'm more relaxed about it all, have much more time to spare, and over the last thirty one years, seem to have developed some patience! He's nine months old now, and is an absolute pleasure to look after, he's just started walking, so this weekend is being spent moving all breakables to much higher levels

I loved being pregnant,felt wonderful and had four very easy births between 1973-1980. Being a mum was what I was made for, very maternal, lots of patience. I remember getting very tired as my DH (now ex!), was not a hands on Dad. We had very little money and once they were all asleep, my evenings were taken up with making their clothes. Despite the difficult times I remember those years with great fondness.

Someone mentioned being a kept woman. My daughters would love to be 'kept' women and not be so stressed. It's all very well saying that young people today could do without all the 'stuff' but they want their children to be like everyone else and that means doing after school clubs, having computers, holidays, clothes etc.

I didn't feel as though I was a kept woman as I contributed to the family in other ways. We used to say that DH earned the money and I spent it. That sounds appalling now but actually it meant that I paid the bills, bought and cooked the food, ferried the children to their out of school activities etc. I did voluntary work and did all the family things like visiting our parents, being a good neighbour etc etc.

I had 2 in the 60s and 1 in the 70s. I loved it. My husband was away a lot, I had no car and not much money. I used to put the babies out to sleep in the pram and enjoyed watching the nappiesblowing on the line. I did manage some part time work. Happy days or maybe I'm a simple soul!

Loved having a house full of babies, I had four in just over five years so they were all close together and helped each other get into mischief! I wouldn't have had it any other way, it's just a shame they had to grow up! I was able to give up my job to enjoy them, an option that is denied most young mums these days

Although, I may be looking back through rose coloured spectacles!

I had my first child at 22 in a very unhappy marriage.
When I married again and had more children, I was then 32 and 35 for my middle and youngest child.
I think when I was younger mother I had more energy but less patience and and as a older mother less energy but more patience.

I had my DD at 25, my H already had 4 DC so he was very relaxed & that helped me. I went back to work p/t when DD was 18 months old, we needed the money. When DD was 5 years old H walked out on us & I went to College for 3 years working in the 3 months Summer Vacation, luckily my DPs helped out.

My DD had DGS1 at 29 & just had DGS2 2 weeks ago at 36, she found 2nd pregnancy much harder. DD is a "stay at home Mum" as she is Primary Carer for her OH who is severely disabled. She loves her time with my DGS2nd Pregnancy has been much harder than 1st, she was very tired & quite often unwell