Did you enjoy your babies?

I was 30 and 31 when I had my S and D and loved every minute of being home with them. We were permanently in debt until I could do more than odd part time jobs when they went to school. We did lots of walks in and on top of the pram and they slept so well in it. Not like GC who nap on the sofa and wake too soon!

Oh and my goodness never felt alone - I made so many wonderful friends when my children were babies and toddlers - loads of informal toddler groups and coffee morning clubs where we took turns in being hostess etc. But in those days most mums (not being sexist, that's how it was) stayed home with their kids till at least age 3. I think these days with having to go back to work sooner no one has as much time to hang around in toddler playgroups and get to know other parents.

I had mine in my early 20s and I was never tired. When they went to bed in the early evening, I still had an evening ahead of me to indulge my hobbies which I did with full energy. Now, when my small grandchildren visit, I am completely wiped out after about 3 hours and no good for anything at all for the rest of the day.

Our DSs were born in the 70s. I stayed home with DS1 but three months after the birth of DS2, my DH was made redundant. Our parents were not able to help at all, no nursery care available, so we were reliant on our own devices. He was able to earn working from home and so, to make ends meet, I went back to work. I wish I could have spent more quality time at home with them....they were so lovely

Didnt have DS until I was 32 after 10 years trying. He wasnt perfect but how many are. We had sleepless nights but wouldnt change a thing. I totally loved having him & still do!
He is 38 now, married with 2 Littlies who if they want the moon I will find a ladder long enough & get it for them. All my poor DiL wants is to spend as much time with her DC as I did mine.
They have just bought a small house, run a car needed for work. DiL drops GS at school, GD at nursery then to work herself. DS uses his bike to get to work. If they did not both work they would still be renting which was more expensive than buying their house.
I think I had the best time as I did not go back to work till DS was 8 years old but worked from home for 'extras'.

I missed work when I had my first I was an older mum most of my friends had had their children and had gone back to work I spent a lot days on my own oh worked nights . I went back to work part time and was a much happier person and really enjoyed my babies especially when they became toddlers .

Yes Flossieturner apart from one or two friends who took up a career, usually nursing, I and my friends were at home for the first few years and I thoroughly enjoyed it. First baby at 21 and two others before 30. DotMH1901 you have just reminded me of Clothkits which I used to have a go at putting together. Knitted and made most of the clothes, occasional outings to Mothercare. We lived semi rurally and the children could go out to play with their friends whilst the mums had a cup of tea and a chat, sounds almost civilised now!

My children are adopted after the baby stage, so I haven't first-hand experience, but my experience as aunt and as godmother has taught me a lot. My sister had her children early, she was just 18 when the eldest was born in 1972. She and my brother-in-law coped well and did enjoy their babies, even although they didn't love the broken nights etc.
My god-children were born in the 1980s and 1990s to parents who wanted children, but had no first-hand experience of babies, never having had siblings or been baby sitters.
This I think is the important point. Today's new mothers and fathers are often only children. They just don't know what having children entails. A lot of grandmothers are still working, others live too far a way to be a help, and the young parents today, don't ask for help. So we feel we are interfering if we offer to do anything, or the young mother, especially if she is daughter-in-law feels we are criticising.
It's no wonder they are stressed. Some do resent the fact that babies take their mothers away from a satisfying job, others resent that the baby's daddy is even more handless and insecure around an infant that they are themselves.

When my daughter started her family in her mid twenties it was the fashion (for want of a better word) to have at least three if not four children asap. I recall vividly sitting in her living room and listening with some amusement to her circle of friends congratulating each other on being 'Earth mothers' because they were popping babies out each year. My daughter stopped at three but some of her friends went on to have five or more. I wonder now that these kiddies are reaching teenage years if they still think they are 'Earth mothers' or whether their views may have changed. Certainly my daughter complains that my grandchildren a) Don't go to bed early enough (she would have them in bed by 7pm if she could) b) Constantly need new clothes/shoes/things for school/school trips etc c) Are eating her out of house and home! I worked full time once my daughter was 18 months old, my daughter got paid maternity leave for 9 months and could have had a further 6 months if she wanted but that would be unpaid - I got 6 weeks paid leave when I had my two children. There is certainly much more pressure on parents to provide things like the latest phone/laptop/designer clothes etc - so glad I had my children in the days when you could still knit and sew their clothes yourself without it creating a melt down!

Are we so different from this generation? I'm in my mid60s. I went back to work after each of my 2, no help whatsoever from outside. Mortgage rate went crazy when I was pregnant with no2.
I love helping out my daughter in law and niece, one works, one doesn't, and being the grannie my kids never had.

It is sad that so many of you didn't enjoy that time and felt alone.
We had moved onto a small new housing estate , mostly young people just starting married life, some already with young children so had instant friends with similar interests and life styles. I cannot remember anyone working outside the home.
We left before my D was 2 but after a year in rented accommodation bought another new house in a similar location and similar families and had my S again a very happy time.

I was - in modern parlance - a career girl. Didn't marry until I was 28 which was really late at that time. My Mother was concerned: I wasn't. Didn't mind being on the shelf as long as I was dusted regularly! However, in due course love blossomed and along came two sons. Enjoyed them both thoroughly although I did join a group called the 'Housewives register' (now, there's a title to scream about if one so wishes!) which gave me considerable stimulus and outside interests. Wouldn't have changed my life one iota at that time other than the considerable financial stress. My Mother said it would pass. It did. I returned to part time work in my previous career when younger was 14. Now........this is something to think on in modern thinking........on three different occasions I have been asked about these days by young modern mothers and EACH ONE has commented 'you mean you were a KEPT woman?' Well, I simply smile and say it didn't feel like that at the time (still doesn't) but their reaction is pretty much shock. Today is SO different in thinking and practicality that I cannot get my head round it. I do not think it takes two salaries to survive nowadays. What I find is that my young people fall into the category of 'wanting it all and wanting it now'. They were certainly not brought up like that. I'm boring enough to think that much of this excessive stress that seems to be around nowadays can be attributed to modern lifestyles. However......that's just me. I am daily SO grateful that I lived in the timescale I am in. SO grateful.........

This was the era when the National Housewives' Register started I think - it gave housebound women an added dimension to think about. Now known as the National Women's Register.

Unfortunately, being on my own much of the time with family hundreds of miles away and a MIL who lived near but was very busy herself I could rarely join in.

I don't know how I managed. I was a young army wife living abroad. I had no support at all. We lived in a flat and had to dry the nappies indoors after soaking in nappisan. I was so tired and stressed I nearly cracked up. If someone could have taken my baby for one day and just let me sleep it would have helped.

I only had the one, and to be honest, I didn't particularly enjoy it.
I was on my own, very poor, and had no idea what I was doing.
I have never had any interest in babies, really; I loved my time when my daughter was older, around 8, 9, 10..

M0nica
I didn't have that foggy head but did feel it coming on.
I answered an advert in a local cafe and arts centre - which was a foggy-headed mother proposing a new parent and toddler group where conversation was NOT to include babies or nappies or soap powder.
It was fantastic! Over two years it grew to include a Saturday session (nearly all dads some days) and "excursions" to art galleries and country parks. We had craft demonstrations and book readings and took it in turns to organise these.
My husband and I are still in touch with two families we met there 47 years later.
It certainly kept me sane in those early years.

I loved my babies so much but it was incredible stressful I married moved to the other side of the world and had my first baby by 22 Being an only child I had no idea of pregnancy, babies or how to look after them apart from instinct I soon found I d married a playboy who was as helpful as a chocolate fireguard so it was all done alone, my first baby was breech birth (delivered naturally in them tha' days in HK ) I had a severe bleed on two occasssions afterwards, she was a colic baby and a non sleeper my second came along two years later and the third when I was 28..... little money and no help plus a difficult marriage made life very hard but I did give my all and I think the kids had a reasonably happy childhood.... I d have given my life for them and still would

Yes very much. I really enjoyed having them about. I was lucky to have "good" babies who slept very well.

I also gave up work when mine were small. That was back in days when you stood a chance of buying a house and paying the bills on one salary. Before house price inflation in the late 1980s.

lost my first so my second was a joy and the only one I had who actually made it to her due date,I was back at my desk when she was 8 DAYS old,would havebeen 5 days id she hadn't been kept in hospital with jaundice ,10 years and 6 miscarrieages later my son was born and as he was very early I was off work for 3 months while he was in SCBU,then he and his pram came to work too. I enjoyed every minute with them and they socialised really early with having staff and customers around all the time ,my husband worked longer hours than I did so I was home by 6pm to get dinner baths and bed organised and housework done ready for the next day.We were self employed so there wasn't a choice about work and TBH I dont believe it did them or me any harm.They are 29 and 39 now with 4 children between tham and great parents .Only thing I would change if I could, was I would have had more but after my son was born I was told another would kill me. We are all very close and I see my son most days and speak to him and my daughter every day ,just like my own mum and me

The period when new mothers had a choice was very short. I had my children in the early 1970s and I had no choice about giving up work and staying home. There was no maternity leave, no flexible working, no childcare apart from au pairs or full time paid nannies. To stay working I would have had to have worked until the baby was due, taken annual leave to have it, or possibly a week or two of sick leave and then back to work as normal.

I was lucky that I was able to return to work part time when the youngest started school with highly flexible contracts that meant I could cover school holidays. Neither set of parents lived near enough to be able to help with any childcare and DH and I managed it all between us.

I absolutely loved being home with my babies - first in 63 when I was 23 and second in early 67 when I was 26. I was teaching when I first became pregnant and simply gave my notice in for the end of the summer term before DD was due. I had my parents about half hour away but at the time none of us had a car so we were using buses! I did have a washing machine - Hotpoint Countess with an electric mangle. DD absolutely loved having a baby brother and we had great days together. We were far from rich but managed - started buying a 2 bed maisonette with a mortgage payment of £22 a month.
My mother did loads of knitting for the children and I also knitted but made most of my clothes and Dd's.
I often wonder if mothers today find it so hard because of the financial need to work. Both DD and DiL were able to choose to be stay at home Mums - in fact DIL has never really worked despite having a degree - this has enabled her to volunteer and thoroughly enjoy being a mum. - which she is very good at. DS is very happy she is at home.
I wish that young women today were all able to have the CHOICE of whether to remain home or return to work. Even when little ones go to school there are childcare issues in holiday times even if the mothers only work part time. I was lucky there too as when DD did decide to return to part time work I got to look after the two GC some holidays and at times they came to stay for a couple of weeks on their own -- how we all loved that.

I am obviously the odd one out. As much as I was happy to look after my children full time when they were little I did feel mentally as if I was going round with the blinds half down.

Perhaps it was because DH's work took him away from home a lot and unpredictably so I was often functioning as if we were a single parent family, but I went back to work when my youngest started school, part time, school hours only, and I suddenly felt as if the blinds were right up and my mind was functioning again.

2 dozen Harrington's, 1 dozen Mothercare (not as good). Nappy liners when they came in and folded in the kite fashion.

I loved looking after my babies, despite the fact they didn't sleep much and I was always exhausted. I didn't have much support as my husband didn't do much and my mother died when my first was a baby, but I just loved being with them. I think some people like babies and children more than others. However, a lot of today's Mums seem to struggle mentally in a way we didn't. this is nothing to do with return to work or more or less money or support.

Thoroughly enjoyed my DS, & later, DD as babes, lucky to have the luxury of enjoying them full-time.

The talk of Napisan & (bright yellow or white Mothercare) lidded buckets makes me shudder though - but the important questions are: 1. Did you use Harrington's nappies?....2. Did you use muslins inside the nappies? ......3 What was your peferred folding technique?