Why do we do and say nothing - is it a "British" thing?

There's a difference between handling a tantrum by walking away and doing what that man was doing to the child.

He was assaulting the child. Would you have stood by if you'd seen an adult being attacked like that? I understand that you might have felt you couldn't directly intervene but there must have been security officers and other officials around that you could report to.

Sparks not Sarks

Before I had children and learned how difficult it is to have one of them have a tantrum in a public place, I was in Marks and Sarks with a friend and her 3-year old daughter.

This little girl was a very strong-willed child and decided to throw herself on the floor in a right old paddy over some denial of what she wanted. Her Mum calmly said "Right, stay there then" turned her back and walked away, leaving the child in full voice.

I was open-mouthed both is shock that her Mum would do that but also at the behaviour of the little girl. It worked though - she almost immediately stopped her tantrum and ran after her Mum sobbing and needing the hug she then got.

It is difficult not to judge if we witness a "carry on" but perhaps we shouldn't.

PS She is a fantastic mother herself and my other daughters say she is very like me in her approach to stuff.

Even a horrified look is a challenge and I daresay you looked horrified even if you didn't say anything, nannyg, so don't beat yourself up about not challenging. Were there other people around too? Did they look the other way or look uncomfortable? Looking uncomfortable sends the same message as asking someone to stop what they're doing.

I bet the guy felt people's disapproval.

Then again, dealing with a kid's tantrum in public is a nightmare scenario and even parents feel worn out and too tired to cope sometimes.

I know I was disapproved of at a small out of the city Edinburgh Co-op when DD1 had her one and only tantrum as we went round the two aisles. I was neavily pregnant and couldn't think straight with her yelling so I took her outside and fastened her reins to a post then went inside and bought one thing just to show her that having the screaming abdabs in shops was not on. She was not out of my sight for a moment. Actually, I asked her if she wanted to stop her carry-on and come into the shop or carry on shouting and wait outside; she carried on shouting; she had stopped when I returned and she walked home quietly with me. Disapproved of but not wrong. She got the message.

I totally sympathise with you Nanny as I m sure I d have been the same but I also think intervening may have made it worse although having said that would it ? It's so hard to know the best way forward. By intervening would it have diverted the attention and anger away from the boy or would he have been even more cruel because he'd been challenged As you say poor little scrap because if he can react like that in public he surely does it in the home The mother should have intervened but maybe she's a beaten woman too a truely horrible scene and I can understand how it's replaying in your mind and it's pointless saying put it out your mind as it's there unfortunately until you can come to terms with it, writing it down will dilute it a bit, as does sharing but until time fades the memory you will feel bad

It was an awful thing to witness though. Its quite understandable that nannyg1 is upset and also feeling that she should have done something.
Maybe its something that people of our age group (well, Grans) could have done something about? If I'd had the nerve I might have intervened pleasantly and suggested that Dad needed a break from the family and why not go and have a drink while I helped Mum keep an eye on them or something similarly Grannish? I'd most likely tut and move on though. A very hard situation.

Perhaps they had a long flight and the little one had been restless,

Yes, I think interfering would have made matters worse, as it would have made the Father concerned even angrier.
Not a good way for him to behave to a child but maybe normally he isn't as bad and was stressed from a long flight.
Put it out of your mind, as going over it won't help.
The child was probably fine later, airports are stressful places.